DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old daughter, "Lizzie," continues to talk to a 14-year-old boy who is very controlling and abusive to her. I made her stop talking to him, took away her cellphone privileges, and tried to show her how wrong he was for her and that she was going to wind up very hurt.

After recently giving her the cellphone back, I learned last night that Lizzie has been talking to him and lying to me about it. He sent her a text that if she didn't answer his call within seven minutes, he was either going to shoot himself or cut himself. He included a picture of his arm with a knife held against it. She thinks that her compliance is all that's standing in the way of this boy killing himself.

I'm scared for her safety, but she won't listen to me because she "loves" him. When I called the boy's mother about it, she became defensive and accused me of implying she was a bad mother. Please tell me how to handle this. -- WORRIED MOM IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR WORRIED MOM: It's time to have a nonconfrontational conversation with your daughter about the dynamics of emotional blackmail, because that's exactly what she's experiencing. Your daughter needs to realize that the boy appears to have serious emotional problems and as much as she may love him, she's not equipped to help him or to prevent him from hurting himself if he really wants to.

As long as Lizzie sees herself as a hero who is saving his life by sacrificing hers, he won't get the help he needs. So if she REALLY cares about him -- and I have no doubt she does -- she will end the relationship because it isn't a healthy one for either of them.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, "Cameron," has a problem. It's his second year in college and he's still a virgin. He gave his heart to a girl in the past, and it left him bitter, emotionally unavailable and, unfortunately, unlaid. He is outspoken, but deep down he lacks confidence.

How can my friends and I help him, and how can he help himself? -- HIS BFF IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BFF: You are well-meaning, but the person asking this question should be your friend Cameron. While the fact that he may be "unlaid" and "unavailable" bothers you and your friends, it's possible that it doesn't bother HIM.

If and when Cameron does tell you he is troubled by it, advise him to visit the student health center and discuss it with a counselor because there may be complicated reasons for it. He doesn't need help losing his virginity. But he may need help addressing his trust issues or he may always remain emotionally unavailable.

DEAR ABBY: How do you feel about young adults using the F-word in public? My sweetie, a mom of two, insists the word is becoming accepted. I am of the "old school," and I maintain that the word is tasteless and shouldn't be used in public. What do you think? -- KEEPING IT CLEAN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR KEEPING IT CLEAN: I think that, regardless of age, the F-word should not be used in public -- and if it's used in private, it should be reserved only for "special occasions."

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother of a beautiful 2-year-old daughter. I have always pictured myself as a mom of four little princesses. When I fantasized about having children, I imagined fairy tales, ballet, cheerleading, dress-up, tea parties -- all girl things.

Now I'm expecting a little boy and I feel heartbroken. When I learned my first was a girl, I couldn't wait to meet her. I bought her everything pink and frilly. Here I am eight weeks from my due date, and I have yet to buy this baby a single thing. When I look at baby boy items, I become severely depressed.

I'm no longer with the baby's father. He and his family are very excited about the baby, as he will be the only male grandchild for this generation. The truth is, the more I think about it, the more I am pulled in the direction of signing over my parental rights to my ex. At least he really wants him, whereas I don't.

I know this sounds terrible and selfish. I feel like a monster, but I can't help it. My family is totally against it. My dad says I shouldn't even allow my ex to visit our son in the hospital after he's born. No one will listen to how I feel. They keep saying my feelings will change after the baby is born, but I doubt it. I just need some guidance. -- UNDESERVING TITLE OF MOMMY

DEAR MOMMY: I don't think you are a monster. I DO think you are not thinking objectively right now. Let me point out that life doesn't always go the way we fantasize. Because you imagined that you'd be the mother of four little princesses doesn't guarantee that you WILL be.

I see no need to rush into signing any papers right now, regardless of how eager your boyfriend and his parents are about the baby. There will be time for that later, if you still want to. For now, ask your parents to help you select some baby boy outfits, and tell your doctor about all of your feelings because they may be hormonal.

You might benefit from some professional counseling right now -- more than I can offer you -- and I urge you to get it before doing anything you might later regret.

DEAR ABBY: I received a restaurant gift card from some friends. When I presented it at a restaurant, it was refused as "never having been activated through purchase."

I called my friends to let them know, thinking it was a mistake on the part of the restaurant at the time it was purchased. They said they would come by and pick up the card. I have heard nothing from them since, and I haven't written a thank-you note or made any further attempt to contact them.

Was I right in calling them? Do I now ignore the whole thing? -- GIFT CARD DENIED

DEAR G.C.D.: You did nothing wrong in calling your friends to tell them what happened. They may not have picked it up because they were embarrassed, or because they really never intended to activate it. I don't think it's necessarily worth ending a relationship over -- IF you want to continue a friendship with people whose credibility you question.

DEAR ABBY: Before my husband and I were married, I became pregnant with his baby. We decided together that we weren't ready for the responsibility and made the mutual decision to end the pregnancy early in the first trimester. We did marry eventually and had a baby girl a few years ago who is now in college.

My ex and I divorced many years ago because of his many affairs, including one with his best friend's wife. I have come to believe that my ex told our daughter about our decision out of spite because I told her about the affairs when she was old enough to understand since she may have a half-sister.

Should I ask my daughter about this or let it go? It was a very private decision, and I think he is a creep for hurting her by telling her. -- FURIOUS IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FURIOUS: Why do you think your ex spilled the beans to your daughter? Has she been behaving differently toward you? Why do you think she "may" have a half-sister? Are you sure it isn't more than one -- or a brother or two? The fact that you aborted a child before your daughter's birth has nothing to do with her. If you think there is something festering between you and your daughter, my advice is to clear the air before it gets worse.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together since August 2012 and have lived together since last summer. He is perfect in every way. He wakes me every morning with a smile and a kiss and pours me a cup of tea. He never goes anywhere without letting me know he thinks I'm beautiful and telling me how much he loves me.

He gets home before I do most nights, has a glass of wine and a hot bath waiting for me, and cooks dinner while I'm in the tub. He's amazing! The only problem is, I was with sooo many of the wrong men for years, I have forgotten how to spoil a man in return.

I want him to know how much I appreciate and love him, but I don't know how. I just want him to know he's the one I want to sit on the porch with one day, watching our grandchildren play. I don't want to lose him because he thinks I don't appreciate all he does. Please help. -- KNOWS A GOOD THING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR KNOWS: When your boyfriend does something for you, thank him for it. Tell him you love him and give him affection in abundance. Express how fortunate you feel to have him in your life. Look for things you can do that will make his life easier, and put forth an effort to reciprocate the many thoughtful things he does for you. Every man is different, but this would be a good start in getting your message across.

DEAR ABBY: Is it too late for me to go back to school and get a degree and pursue a career I would enjoy? I'm 53, married and the mother of two children, 19 and 23. I didn't finish college, and I don't know what to do with my life. The only jobs I have ever had were as a retail salesperson.

With one child just out of college, I am unsure if I could even afford to continue my education. Where would I go to find answers about returning to school at my age, choosing a major and finding the money to pay for it? Any advice would be appreciated. -- TOO OLD 4 NEW TRICKS?

DEAR TOO OLD?: Contact the nearest university or college and ask if it offers career counseling and aptitude testing to determine what you would need to complete your education and find a career you'd be suited for. Many schools offer this service. As to your being too late to do this at 53 -- it's never too late. People in their 90s have earned degrees and been enriched by it, and so can you.