DEAR ABBY: My youngest grown son discovered that his girlfriend -- his possible future wife -- was texting pictures of herself to his stepfather. Needless to say, he told her the relationship is over.

Now, for obvious reasons, he no longer wants to be around his stepfather, and is deeply concerned about how it will affect his relationship with his mother, my ex-wife. They are close, which I encouraged, but she seems to be in denial about the situation. Have you any suggestions on how to be supportive of my son and all the dynamics? -- TOO MUCH DRAMA IN MISSOURI

DEAR TOO MUCH DRAMA: You say your ex-wife seems to be in denial. Was the reason for the breakup ever explained to her? If it wasn't, then your son should talk to his mother about it, and from then on arrange to see her alone.

DEAR ABBY: I just dropped off my 13-year-old son at a party. He's a seventh-grader, and when I take him to a friend's house, if I haven't met the parents, I walk him to the door and introduce him and myself to them.

I do this to try and make sure the parents are at home and responsible. (Honestly, if they weren't, I'd take my son and leave.) I know it embarrasses him, but most parents thank me because they want to meet the parents of the kids who are in their homes.

Times are different for our kids today. I just can't believe that someone would simply drop off a child and speed away when he/she has absolutely no clue who these people are. I'm not a helicopter parent; I'm just a mother who loves my children enough to make sure they're in good hands.

Recently, a ninth-grader in our school district had a house party where 30 kids received underage drinking citations! Sorry -- but I'm taking no chances. Parenting is not being your child's best friend. Please encourage parents not to be afraid to reach out to other parents. It really does take a village. -- VIGILANT IN BUCKS COUNTY, PA.

DEAR VIGILANT: Your children are fortunate to have a mother who is as involved in their lives as you are. Not all young people are so lucky. Your son may find your vigilance embarrassing, but take comfort in knowing that all kids your son's age find their parents embarrassing.

Orchids to you for pointing out the importance of parents networking with each other to ensure that their children are safe and supervised. When an entire "village" is watching, there is less chance of a lamb straying.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife for 33 years. I recently found a pair of her panties with "Booty Call" printed across the back. I can't help but wonder. She has never had underwear like that in 33 years. What gives? -- SURPRISED TEXAN

DEAR SURPRISED: Was your wife wearing the lingerie at the time? If not, how did you discover the panties?

The surest way to get to the bottom of this would be to ask your wife this question. She may have thought they were cute and bought them on impulse -- or they may have been a gift. Please let me know, because not only am I interested in her answer, but I'm sure millions of readers are curious, too.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years. I trust him with my whole heart. He is the sweetest man I know. Lately, I have been wanting to know more about his brother. My husband hasn't said much about him other than he was murdered in prison about 10 years ago.

I'm not saying that he and his family are lying, but I did some research on the Web and came across multiple websites about my husband's brother. Yes, he was in prison, but I'm not sure he was actually murdered there. Some details are better left unsaid.

I know, of course, that you can't believe everything you read on the Internet, but there is more than one Google page with a lot of information.

I want to talk to my husband and find out what really happened and try to get to know his brother, but I'm scared he will get angry and even shut me out, and I don't want that to happen. Please give me some advice on what to do. I just want some straight answers -- no more sweeping it under the carpet. -- IN THE DARK IN OHIO

DEAR IN THE DARK: There is always a risk when someone goes poking around the family closet and starts rattling the skeletons. I suggest you be frank with your husband. Tell him you were curious about his brother, went on the Internet, found some surprising information and would like some honest answers. If you trust him with your whole heart, then his response will tell you all you need to know.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow with five daughters. The youngest is 8, and the others are in their late teens and early 20s. I am self-employed, work from home and very involved in my kids' lives.

I have a boyfriend I have been seeing for the last 18 months. I spend the night with him two or three times a month, which involves less than a 24-hour stay.

I would like to have an extended weekend or a short vacation with him, but he is balking. He says I shouldn't be away from my baby that long. He grew up with a very distant mother and had an unhappy childhood. My daughter spends a lot of time with me, but still enjoys her "sister time."

How can I get him to realize that my being away for a few days would recharge me and make me a better mom? -- BADLY IN NEED OF A BREAK

DEAR BADLY IN NEED: If you haven't already pointed out to this man that his childhood was far different than the one you have provided for your children, then you should.

I am somewhat concerned that he is giving you parenting advice, since nowhere in your letter did you mention that he has any children. It occurs to me that he may have his own reasons for not spending more time with you than he does, and if I'm right, you need to get to the bottom of what they are -- because I don't think he's giving you the whole story.

DEAR ABBY: My husband goes into a tirade if anyone has a taste of food or a bread roll before a meal is properly served. He goes off on everyone -- even a child who has had to wait because the meal is late or they just love light rolls.

We have great respect for your answers. He threatened to write you, so I called his bluff. What do you think about this? -- LOSING MY APPETITE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LOSING: I think your husband appears to be excessively controlling. For him to expect hungry people to sit at a table with food and not partake of it is unrealistic, unless it's a formal dinner party. Children should be taught proper table manners, but to force a hungry child to sit at a table with bread on it for fear of a tirade is, in my opinion, abusive.

People sometimes overreact the way your husband does because they have low blood sugar. Could this be his problem?

DEAR ABBY: My sister died suddenly. She hadn't been ill, and it was a shock. Although she tried hard to have a relationship with me over the years, I had trouble relating to her and we weren't close.

I am sorry to say that I never took the time to get to know her. I'm left now with many questions about the sister I always had, but never really knew.

As her next of kin, I'm responsible for packing up her things, and I came across several journals. I would like to read them because I feel they would help me to understand her better, but I also feel it might be disrespectful to go through something of hers that was so personal.

What do you think? Would it be wrong to read them? I wish I had her here to talk to instead of journals to snoop through. -- REGRETFUL IN OAKLAND

DEAR REGRETFUL: I'm sorry for your loss, and your regrets. Because you would like to know your sibling, I think you should read her journals. While it's sad that you have to make her acquaintance in this way, it would be better than never having known her at all.

DEAR ABBY: I love my wife, but I find it difficult to take her to any function where there will be many people. She doesn't comprehend most conversations. She acts like she's listening, but if prompted for a reply, it's obvious she wasn't.

While she doesn't seem to care, I find it embarrassing. People tend to shy away from her, leaving her by herself. Because of this, we don't often get invited back. At Christmas, when I received my invitation to the annual office party, I sent my regrets.

If I try to talk to my wife about this issue, she gets defensive and accuses me of picking on her. Advice? -- THE NORTH 40 IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NORTH 40: It would be interesting to know if your wife's problem is an inability to comprehend English well, a hearing problem or a social anxiety disorder. Of course, we'll never know unless you're able to have an honest conversation with her about it and explain how it affects you. If there is a solution, your wife will have to want to find it.

As to functions having to do with business, if she's uncomfortable in that environment, then you should attend without her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a secretary who happens to make really good coffee. An employee who works in the building likes my coffee and has made himself comfortable at my desk in the morning before he starts work and afterward, before his second job.

I am not comfortable with this. He plants himself at my desk, and I find myself having to work around him. He has become a fixture in my office and I need it to stop. How can I go about this without hurting his feelings? -- NOT HIS BARISTA

DEAR NOT: From where I sit, it looks like the man may have a crush on you. Because you want less of his company, tell him you need to get to work -- or get your work finished -- and that his presence at your desk is distracting. Tell him you're flattered that he likes your coffee and he's welcome to a cup, but he needs to drink it elsewhere. If you say it pleasantly, his feelings shouldn't be hurt.