DEAR ABBY: I have an extremely bright 7-year-old daughter, "Amy," from a previous marriage. Her biological father, "Jake," and I separated when she was an infant. He lives across the country, so while we shared custody, Amy usually saw him only once a year. For a while I called him "Dad" when talking about him to her, but when it became apparent that he wasn't going to be involved in her life (and because I was going to be remarried), we switched to using his first name.

My current husband formally adopted Amy last year, and she couldn't have been happier. Now there's a baby sister, and Amy is overjoyed.

Recently, though, Amy has started asking me why Jake never visits and when she's going to see him again. I don't know what to tell her. I feel it would be crushing to her to say that Jake isn't interested in her anymore, but I also don't want to lie to her.

How do you tell a 7-year-old she should just forget her biological father because he's never going to be there for her? -- ANXIOUS IN HOUSTON

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your daughter needs to come to this realization in stages, and her questions should be answered in an age-appropriate way. Understand that Amy may always be interested in knowing about her biological father, and by the time she is in her teens, she will be computer savvy enough to search him out on the Internet.

For now, tell your daughter that the reason Jake doesn't visit is because he is "busy," and you don't know when he plans to visit. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: My brother "Jared" is dating a woman, "Dawn," who is about 10 years younger. They have been seeing each other for about a year. She seems nice and is polite at family gatherings.

I have noticed, however, that whenever I'm spending time with my mother, Dawn is constantly texting or calling her. I'm a grown woman, too, but I never communicated to that degree with any of my boyfriends' mothers.

Jared has told both Mom and me that he isn't even close to wanting to propose marriage. Do you think it's peculiar that Dawn contacts my mother multiple times daily? -- TAKEN ABACK IN GEORGIA

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Dawn may not have a mother of her own and need a mother figure, which is why she does this. Or she may be attempting to ingratiate herself to her boyfriend's mother because she thinks it will help her land your brother. Not knowing Dawn, I can't say for sure -- but this technique has worked for other women in the past.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary this year and I have a question. We'd love to invite a group of our friends to celebrate with us at our favorite restaurant, but we won't be able to pick up the tab. Is there a sensitive way to ask friends to celebrate with us, but get across the message that it'll have to be dutch treat? -- ON A BUDGET IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR ON A BUDGET: If these are close or longtime friends, I'm sure they won't be shocked that you'll be celebrating your 50th -- especially if some of them were at your wedding. I think the best way to approach this would be to be honest. Tell them that as much as you'd like to entertain everybody, you are unable to, but that you would love it if everyone could meet for dinner at your favorite restaurant and go dutch treat. And be sure to mention that although it's your anniversary, the only gift you would like would be their presence at this happy time.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Kyra," has joined the drama department at our school. She has made a lot of theater friends now and hangs out with them every day after school. She used to meet me occasionally at my locker after school, but no longer does so. The only time I see her, she's with her theater friends, and I'm uncomfortable because I don't know them and I'm shy.

I'm trying to make friends with Kyra's friends, but when I'm with her, she kind of ignores me and doesn't try to include me as much as she could. It's depressing that my best friend would rather hang out with other people than me. I'm missing her. What do I do? -- CAST-OFF IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAST-OFF: Kyra's behavior is insensitive, but I don't think you can change her. So the solution will be for you to become less emotionally dependent upon her. A way to do that would be to develop some outside interests of your own and start cultivating them.

While Kyra might have a flair for drama, perhaps you might be more interested in sports, art, computers, etc. If you start to explore what activities are available, it will provide you with a larger circle of acquaintances, and you'll miss your friend less because you are filling your time with other things. Please give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: Three times in the last week I have been hugged by people who then informed me that they were sick. At dinner last night, one friend blew his nose throughout the meal and then wanted to shake hands. Yuck!

A little reminder during cold season: If you are sick, "coming down with something" or even just "fighting off a little bug," don't hug others! Don't give a little peck on the cheek or shake hands. You can politely mention that you are "a bit under the weather and don't want to share." Other people won't be offended or think you are being standoffish. They will be grateful for your thoughtfulness. -- TRYING TO STAY HEALTHY

DEAR TRYING: That's good advice, if folks are willing to heed it. I can only add that flu vaccinations, frequent hand-washing and a small bottle of hand sanitizer can lessen the chances of getting these viruses when our friends are in a state of denial, and it wasn't "an allergy."

DEAR ABBY: I'm not particularly attractive, pretty or girly. I don't think I'm what boys are looking for, so I tend to not be too involved with them. I have a lot of male friends, but I have never had a first kiss, a first date, etc.

Yesterday, a guy friend asked me out. I was shocked. I saw him as only a friend and never thought of him as a boyfriend, so I said no. He acted like it wasn't a big deal. Things aren't awkward between us, but I think I may have hurt his feelings or his self-esteem.

After school -- he'd asked me out after my third class -- I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't regret my decision, but I'm worried about him. Can you help me? -- CONCERNED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR CONCERNED: It might help to recognize that people ask each other out for a variety of reasons -- which can include needing a date for an event, romantic interest or just wanting to hang out with someone who is good company. Not knowing your friend, I can't guess what his reason was when he asked you out.

Because you think you may have hurt his feelings, make a point of telling him that you hope you didn't. And mention that since you are new to the idea of dating, you think you may owe him an apology because you care about him as a friend.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating someone for about six months. We fell in love very quickly and spend almost every second together.

Our relationship has hit a rough patch ever since he found out that I have dated African-American men. He can't seem to get over it, but he keeps saying he wants to try to make it work. He says cruel things sometimes when he gets mad, and it seems to be on his mind constantly. I don't know what to do or how to make this better. We fell in love, but it seems to be spoiled because of my past.

This isn't a big deal to me. I have always dated people I thought were good people. He seems to view it as disgusting. I thought he was my soul mate because we connected so well on everything else, but I'm afraid he will never get past this issue and I may be wasting my time. What should I do? -- ROCKY ROAD IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ROCKY ROAD: Give him a hug and let him go. You are the sum total of your experiences and your upbringing, and the same is true of your boyfriend. He comes from a background of racial prejudice. When a person is raised that way, the mindset can be very difficult to change.

As much as you might want to, you can't fix this man; only he can do that. And from your description of him, I don't think he's capable of that kind of growth.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to you in the hope that you will share something with your readers. When I travel, I stay in hotels and it never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate my fellow travelers can be. Late at night, the drunken party animals carry on, often until the sun rises. Then families with small children invade the halls, and the kids race up and down the halls screaming.

Behind every one of those closed hallway doors there may be a person who is trying to sleep. Fellow travelers, please be considerate! Walk softly and talk quietly in the halls.

And parents, please teach your children manners. This includes not playing noisily where people are trying to sleep. -- SLEEPLESS NEAR SEATTLE

DEAR SLEEPLESS: I have experienced the same difficulties that you have while traveling. Here's how I deal with it: I pick up the phone and notify the front desk or security if there are rowdy drunks keeping me awake after 10 p.m. -- and the same goes for neighbors who have the volume on their television sets turned up so high I can't sleep. If the problem persists, I ask to be moved to a quieter room.

As for the screaming children chasing each other in the hallways -- I have been known to poke my sleepy head out the door and ask them to please quiet down. Maybe I have just been lucky, but they usually do.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my high school sweetheart, "Linda," for 37 years. I am a widower now, going into a new relationship. "Susan" and I are going slow, but we may end up living together in my home.

How do I integrate pictures of Linda with Susan being there? I have one of Linda and the kids, one of the two of us, and a painting of Linda and me together. Eventually I will want one with me and Susan.

How do I make this work? This is all new to me and I don't want to screw this up. -- LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE

DEAR L.S.T.: I am a great believer in verbal communication. Like many other things in relationships, this should be discussed and negotiated. Talk to Susan about it and see if she would be comfortable living in your home with these pictures on display. If you plan to combine households, Susan may have some photos of her own she would like to display.

Many women wouldn't object to a picture of you and your late wife. However, the portrait might be a bit much. Perhaps one of your children would like to have it.