DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter from "Holding My Tongue" (Nov. 8), the woman who was upset because many children were playing with electronic devices during her grandchildren's school concerts and recitals. While I agree that most children should pay attention to the event at hand, as the mother of two children on the autism spectrum, I have a different perspective.

There are apps and games designed to keep these children occupied and help them deal with the stress and anxiety of being in a large group of people. I should not have to leave my sons at home because they are on the spectrum, so a harmless, quiet game that allows them to participate without being disruptive is a godsend to me.

Sometimes it is not obvious why someone is doing something; so as long as it isn't disrupting the event, please try to be tolerant. -- LAURA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LAURA: Your point is well-stated, and was one made by a number of parents of children with special needs. Readers had interesting comments on this topic, so I'm sharing a few:

DEAR ABBY: If there's a possibility young children could be unruly during a performance, I think they should be allowed to use a tablet or something to keep them occupied.

Sometimes it's hard to find a sitter or afford one. When children get dragged to programs they have no interest in, they lose patience and become fidgety. If given something to occupy their attention, as long as it has headphones, then I don't see a problem. I'd rather have that than kids shouting, screaming and crying because they're unhappy being there. -- UNDERSTANDING IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ABBY: In this digital age, we have lost touch with basic common decency and respect for others. I not only notice this in children, but adults as well. I have seen people check their emails while they are in church, or couples sitting together at a restaurant, both fixated on their electronic devices and not speaking a word to each other.

It's sad to imagine what the next generation will be like if we don't start putting the devices down and interacting with each other again like human beings. I raised all three of my kids this way, so I know it's not impossible. -- MAINTAINING HUMAN CONTACT

DEAR ABBY: When my precious mother passed away last summer, my sister-in-law brought two handheld games to the funeral. My niece and nephew played and played while the pastor spoke about my mother.

It was the last straw for me in a series of incredibly rude actions over the years. My children were also appalled. When respect is no longer taught at home, we sink to the lowest level as a society. -- DEBRA ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR ABBY: I have stopped attending my friends' grandchildren's recitals because I, too, cannot tolerate rudeness. Many parents today just don't want to bother with their children. If there is a toy that can keep them busy, their parents "enable" them to grow up as idiots who can't appreciate the world and its beauty because their world is lived entirely on an electronic screen. -- GEORGE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: What parents who allow this type of behavior don't seem to understand is that it transfers to the classroom. Their children assume it's OK to ignore the teacher, the lesson and instructions that in some cases could save a life. -- FRUSTRATED EDUCATOR IN MIAMI

DEAR ABBY: I used to conduct workshops for teachers on how to instruct with newspapers. When I started my lecture, I would begin by saying, "OK, teachers, turn off your iPads, iPhones and iPods, because I don't want to become iRate." They loved it, and it was a great kickoff for the lecture. -- ALFRED IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: After a two-year relationship ended, I got pregnant on the rebound. I called my ex and told him I was having a baby with another man because I wanted to hurt him. Apparently it worked -- at least that's what his best friend told me.

Now that a few months have passed, I ran into him and all those loving feelings I had for him came rushing back. Should I tell him? The father of this baby is a good-for-nothing deadbeat. He wants to be father-of-the-year without helping me financially.

What should I do about my feelings for my ex, and what should I do about the father of my baby? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: It is time for you to grow up and accept responsibility for the situation you're in right now. Your behavior has been immature and irresponsible. The child you're carrying is going to need someone who can provide for him or her financially and emotionally.

Because you have feelings for your ex, contact him and let him know, but don't count on him wanting to reconcile. Then you should also contact a lawyer about ensuring that "Babydaddy" lives up to his financial responsibilities.

And in the future, when you decide to have sex with someone, recognize there could be consequences and use birth control. Every time!

DEAR ABBY: Recently my mother and I got into an argument on a four-hour road trip. She didn't like my opinions or my answers, so she kicked my 17-year-old daughter and me out of her vehicle and abandoned us in an unsafe neighborhood two hours from our home. She has done it twice before, and I have yet to hear an apology from her for dumping us on the curb.

Luckily, my son was able to come and retrieve us. Most people would have cut her off the first time she pulled this stunt, but I'm a "three-strikes-you're-out" kind of person. I have given my mother many opportunities to apologize for her behavior, but she refuses to acknowledge her own wrongdoing.

I have decided this is the last time this will happen to me. I no longer speak to her and won't allow my daughter to go anywhere with her for fear she will be dumped somewhere unsafe. My other kids -- ages 21 and 22 -- say I should get over it. Was cutting her off a reasonable response? -- THUMBIN' FOR A RIDE

DEAR THUMBIN': Your mother appears to have a short fuse and poor judgment. Is cutting her off a reasonable response? I think so. Dumping someone in an unsafe neighborhood could get the person killed, something we see all too often in the media. If you ever decide to relent, however, and go anywhere with her, make sure you are the one behind the wheel because it's clear Mama can't be trusted when she's in the driver's seat.

DEAR ABBY: My family and I moved to Iowa when I was in high school to be closer to the other side of the family. Because we had lived in California, we didn't interact much with our Iowa family. So now, even though we have been back in Iowa for the last eight years, they still forget our birthdays and don't include us in family get-togethers. How should I deal with this situation? -- EXCLUDED IN THE HAWKEYE STATE

DEAR EXCLUDED: It appears you're being punished for the "sins" of your parents. (Could there have been some friction with the Iowa relatives that caused the move to California?) All you can do is talk to them and see if you can improve the situation. Consider inviting them to your family get-togethers and you may get a positive response.

However, if they are not receptive, then it will be up to you to create a "replacement" family out of the people you have become close to in your community since your return.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a 55-plus retirement community. We do many things together, but we also do things independently. One resident decided to form two men's clubs. One meets every week for breakfast, and the other twice a month at night. The members go to each other's homes for the evening meetings.

Abby, the man who started these clubs is chauvinistic. He made a rule that women are not allowed in their own homes when their husbands host a meeting -- "no skirts allowed." Therefore, even though the wife prepares everything for her husband's meeting, she's told to slip out of the house before anyone arrives.

My husband agrees that this is ridiculous and is considering quitting the club, but he has formed friendships with some of the men. The guys are bamboozled by the leader and tell their wives that anything said at a meeting is "confidential."

The obvious solution would be to meet at a coffee shop, but the man in charge says the homes provide a more intimate setting. My husband feels bad about it, and I don't want him to quit a group he enjoys. Any suggestions? -- GOOD LITTLE VEGAS WIFE

DEAR GOOD LITTLE WIFE: It appears the founder of the clubs has his head stuck firmly in the 1950s. And while we can't change that, I do have some suggestions.

The first is that the wives stop preparing anything and let the "bachelors" do it themselves or order takeout or deli for their meetings. The second is that the "widows" join together for an evening of fun while the men are having their meetings. Of course, nothing that happens during these ladies' evenings of fun should be shared with the husbands -- including what they did or what clubs they may have visited.

P.S. Because your husband feels bad about how the women are being treated, perhaps he should consider attending only the breakfast get-togethers and seeing those men in the evening group he has bonded with independently.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend loses her keys, wallet, credit cards or iPad every day. I have suggested ways to avoid losing her keys. For example -- always use the same pocket in her purse or put them in a bowl by the door. She doesn't do it. I think it is to spite me.

She has now become resentful that I have become impatient about it. I'm frustrated because this is something that can easily be fixed, and I'm tired of searching for 20 minutes for whatever she has misplaced. What can I do? -- BEYOND FRUSTRATED IN L.A.

DEAR BEYOND FRUSTRATED: The first thing you should do is understand that your girlfriend isn't doing this to upset you, and it's possible that she becomes as upset as you do when it happens. While I agree that part of the problem is that she's disorganized, it could also be that her thinking is scattered. When she puts something down, she isn't fully in the moment. Her thoughts may be on something else.

Frankly, there isn't anything you can do about it. If there is a solution to your girlfriend's problem, it's that she should slow down and think about exactly what she's doing when she's doing it, which is sometimes easier said than done.