DEAR ABBY: After a two-year relationship ended, I got pregnant on the rebound. I called my ex and told him I was having a baby with another man because I wanted to hurt him. Apparently it worked -- at least that's what his best friend told me.

Now that a few months have passed, I ran into him and all those loving feelings I had for him came rushing back. Should I tell him? The father of this baby is a good-for-nothing deadbeat. He wants to be father-of-the-year without helping me financially.

What should I do about my feelings for my ex, and what should I do about the father of my baby? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: It is time for you to grow up and accept responsibility for the situation you're in right now. Your behavior has been immature and irresponsible. The child you're carrying is going to need someone who can provide for him or her financially and emotionally.

Because you have feelings for your ex, contact him and let him know, but don't count on him wanting to reconcile. Then you should also contact a lawyer about ensuring that "Babydaddy" lives up to his financial responsibilities.

And in the future, when you decide to have sex with someone, recognize there could be consequences and use birth control. Every time!

DEAR ABBY: Recently my mother and I got into an argument on a four-hour road trip. She didn't like my opinions or my answers, so she kicked my 17-year-old daughter and me out of her vehicle and abandoned us in an unsafe neighborhood two hours from our home. She has done it twice before, and I have yet to hear an apology from her for dumping us on the curb.

Luckily, my son was able to come and retrieve us. Most people would have cut her off the first time she pulled this stunt, but I'm a "three-strikes-you're-out" kind of person. I have given my mother many opportunities to apologize for her behavior, but she refuses to acknowledge her own wrongdoing.

I have decided this is the last time this will happen to me. I no longer speak to her and won't allow my daughter to go anywhere with her for fear she will be dumped somewhere unsafe. My other kids -- ages 21 and 22 -- say I should get over it. Was cutting her off a reasonable response? -- THUMBIN' FOR A RIDE

DEAR THUMBIN': Your mother appears to have a short fuse and poor judgment. Is cutting her off a reasonable response? I think so. Dumping someone in an unsafe neighborhood could get the person killed, something we see all too often in the media. If you ever decide to relent, however, and go anywhere with her, make sure you are the one behind the wheel because it's clear Mama can't be trusted when she's in the driver's seat.

DEAR ABBY: My family and I moved to Iowa when I was in high school to be closer to the other side of the family. Because we had lived in California, we didn't interact much with our Iowa family. So now, even though we have been back in Iowa for the last eight years, they still forget our birthdays and don't include us in family get-togethers. How should I deal with this situation? -- EXCLUDED IN THE HAWKEYE STATE

DEAR EXCLUDED: It appears you're being punished for the "sins" of your parents. (Could there have been some friction with the Iowa relatives that caused the move to California?) All you can do is talk to them and see if you can improve the situation. Consider inviting them to your family get-togethers and you may get a positive response.

However, if they are not receptive, then it will be up to you to create a "replacement" family out of the people you have become close to in your community since your return.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a 55-plus retirement community. We do many things together, but we also do things independently. One resident decided to form two men's clubs. One meets every week for breakfast, and the other twice a month at night. The members go to each other's homes for the evening meetings.

Abby, the man who started these clubs is chauvinistic. He made a rule that women are not allowed in their own homes when their husbands host a meeting -- "no skirts allowed." Therefore, even though the wife prepares everything for her husband's meeting, she's told to slip out of the house before anyone arrives.

My husband agrees that this is ridiculous and is considering quitting the club, but he has formed friendships with some of the men. The guys are bamboozled by the leader and tell their wives that anything said at a meeting is "confidential."

The obvious solution would be to meet at a coffee shop, but the man in charge says the homes provide a more intimate setting. My husband feels bad about it, and I don't want him to quit a group he enjoys. Any suggestions? -- GOOD LITTLE VEGAS WIFE

DEAR GOOD LITTLE WIFE: It appears the founder of the clubs has his head stuck firmly in the 1950s. And while we can't change that, I do have some suggestions.

The first is that the wives stop preparing anything and let the "bachelors" do it themselves or order takeout or deli for their meetings. The second is that the "widows" join together for an evening of fun while the men are having their meetings. Of course, nothing that happens during these ladies' evenings of fun should be shared with the husbands -- including what they did or what clubs they may have visited.

P.S. Because your husband feels bad about how the women are being treated, perhaps he should consider attending only the breakfast get-togethers and seeing those men in the evening group he has bonded with independently.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend loses her keys, wallet, credit cards or iPad every day. I have suggested ways to avoid losing her keys. For example -- always use the same pocket in her purse or put them in a bowl by the door. She doesn't do it. I think it is to spite me.

She has now become resentful that I have become impatient about it. I'm frustrated because this is something that can easily be fixed, and I'm tired of searching for 20 minutes for whatever she has misplaced. What can I do? -- BEYOND FRUSTRATED IN L.A.

DEAR BEYOND FRUSTRATED: The first thing you should do is understand that your girlfriend isn't doing this to upset you, and it's possible that she becomes as upset as you do when it happens. While I agree that part of the problem is that she's disorganized, it could also be that her thinking is scattered. When she puts something down, she isn't fully in the moment. Her thoughts may be on something else.

Frankly, there isn't anything you can do about it. If there is a solution to your girlfriend's problem, it's that she should slow down and think about exactly what she's doing when she's doing it, which is sometimes easier said than done.

DEAR ABBY: One of my childhood friends got married at a young age. She's now expecting and due in a few months. Every day she messages me on Facebook about something else her husband has done to cause her emotional stress. For example, a few weeks ago she found flirtatious erotic messages he had exchanged with another girl.

I want to help her because we have been friends for so long. We're both 19, and I feel I should know how to help her, but since I've never been married I don't know what to say. Any advice? -- FRIEND IN KENTUCKY

DEAR FRIEND: What a sad situation. Your friend is married to someone who apparently doesn't want to be married -- and it's open to question whether he will be much of a parent. If she has family, she should talk to them about this because she may need their help soon. She should also make plans for how she will support herself and the child, because her husband appears to be a flake.

Please pass this advice along. And let this be a lesson to you about the importance of achieving independence before assuming the responsibility of parenthood.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is in her mid-90s. Several of her lifelong friends, widows, still live in their own homes, as she does. However, they no longer drive.

A phone call would help them communicate directly with each other about life situations, but it doesn't seem to happen. Instead of calling and talking to each other, they hear about each other third-hand.

Is it typical for the elderly to abandon each other and be so cruel? If so, what could help people communicate better regardless of age? -- CONCERNED SON IN COLORADO

DEAR SON: Not everyone in their 90s ages the same way. Some individuals are still active; others are less so. When seniors stop driving, there can be a tendency for them to become isolated and depressed. Others may be taking medications that affect their memory.

A way to help people in your mother's age group would be to see that they have transportation to a senior center, where they can mingle face-to-face if they wish. I recommend this for your mother and her friends because I'm sure none of them are being deliberately cruel.

DEAR ABBY: I am an addict of Turner Classic Movies and wondered how those handsome actors and beautiful actresses control their libido during passionate love scenes. Or is there more to it than appears? -- FILM BUFF IN ENCINITAS, CALIF.

DEAR FILM BUFF: Generally speaking, what an audience sees on the screen isn't an amorous encounter. Every gesture has been carefully choreographed. There may be a lot more acting than passion involved. (That's why it's called acting.) Remember, there is a director and there can be a crew of as many as 30 people standing around. Of course, there are always exceptions -- Liz Taylor and Richard Burton would be one of them, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would be another.