DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a 55-plus retirement community. We do many things together, but we also do things independently. One resident decided to form two men's clubs. One meets every week for breakfast, and the other twice a month at night. The members go to each other's homes for the evening meetings.

Abby, the man who started these clubs is chauvinistic. He made a rule that women are not allowed in their own homes when their husbands host a meeting -- "no skirts allowed." Therefore, even though the wife prepares everything for her husband's meeting, she's told to slip out of the house before anyone arrives.

My husband agrees that this is ridiculous and is considering quitting the club, but he has formed friendships with some of the men. The guys are bamboozled by the leader and tell their wives that anything said at a meeting is "confidential."

The obvious solution would be to meet at a coffee shop, but the man in charge says the homes provide a more intimate setting. My husband feels bad about it, and I don't want him to quit a group he enjoys. Any suggestions? -- GOOD LITTLE VEGAS WIFE

DEAR GOOD LITTLE WIFE: It appears the founder of the clubs has his head stuck firmly in the 1950s. And while we can't change that, I do have some suggestions.

The first is that the wives stop preparing anything and let the "bachelors" do it themselves or order takeout or deli for their meetings. The second is that the "widows" join together for an evening of fun while the men are having their meetings. Of course, nothing that happens during these ladies' evenings of fun should be shared with the husbands -- including what they did or what clubs they may have visited.

P.S. Because your husband feels bad about how the women are being treated, perhaps he should consider attending only the breakfast get-togethers and seeing those men in the evening group he has bonded with independently.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend loses her keys, wallet, credit cards or iPad every day. I have suggested ways to avoid losing her keys. For example -- always use the same pocket in her purse or put them in a bowl by the door. She doesn't do it. I think it is to spite me.

She has now become resentful that I have become impatient about it. I'm frustrated because this is something that can easily be fixed, and I'm tired of searching for 20 minutes for whatever she has misplaced. What can I do? -- BEYOND FRUSTRATED IN L.A.

DEAR BEYOND FRUSTRATED: The first thing you should do is understand that your girlfriend isn't doing this to upset you, and it's possible that she becomes as upset as you do when it happens. While I agree that part of the problem is that she's disorganized, it could also be that her thinking is scattered. When she puts something down, she isn't fully in the moment. Her thoughts may be on something else.

Frankly, there isn't anything you can do about it. If there is a solution to your girlfriend's problem, it's that she should slow down and think about exactly what she's doing when she's doing it, which is sometimes easier said than done.

DEAR ABBY: One of my childhood friends got married at a young age. She's now expecting and due in a few months. Every day she messages me on Facebook about something else her husband has done to cause her emotional stress. For example, a few weeks ago she found flirtatious erotic messages he had exchanged with another girl.

I want to help her because we have been friends for so long. We're both 19, and I feel I should know how to help her, but since I've never been married I don't know what to say. Any advice? -- FRIEND IN KENTUCKY

DEAR FRIEND: What a sad situation. Your friend is married to someone who apparently doesn't want to be married -- and it's open to question whether he will be much of a parent. If she has family, she should talk to them about this because she may need their help soon. She should also make plans for how she will support herself and the child, because her husband appears to be a flake.

Please pass this advice along. And let this be a lesson to you about the importance of achieving independence before assuming the responsibility of parenthood.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is in her mid-90s. Several of her lifelong friends, widows, still live in their own homes, as she does. However, they no longer drive.

A phone call would help them communicate directly with each other about life situations, but it doesn't seem to happen. Instead of calling and talking to each other, they hear about each other third-hand.

Is it typical for the elderly to abandon each other and be so cruel? If so, what could help people communicate better regardless of age? -- CONCERNED SON IN COLORADO

DEAR SON: Not everyone in their 90s ages the same way. Some individuals are still active; others are less so. When seniors stop driving, there can be a tendency for them to become isolated and depressed. Others may be taking medications that affect their memory.

A way to help people in your mother's age group would be to see that they have transportation to a senior center, where they can mingle face-to-face if they wish. I recommend this for your mother and her friends because I'm sure none of them are being deliberately cruel.

DEAR ABBY: I am an addict of Turner Classic Movies and wondered how those handsome actors and beautiful actresses control their libido during passionate love scenes. Or is there more to it than appears? -- FILM BUFF IN ENCINITAS, CALIF.

DEAR FILM BUFF: Generally speaking, what an audience sees on the screen isn't an amorous encounter. Every gesture has been carefully choreographed. There may be a lot more acting than passion involved. (That's why it's called acting.) Remember, there is a director and there can be a crew of as many as 30 people standing around. Of course, there are always exceptions -- Liz Taylor and Richard Burton would be one of them, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would be another.

DEAR ABBY: During the past three years, my husband and I managed to save about $45,000 for a down payment on the purchase of a new home. (We each put in about half.) Early last month, I asked my husband if he liked one house we had just seen, and he confessed that he had taken all the money we had saved and put it into a struggling business he has had for 12 years and which I helped him run on weekends.

I am devastated! It's not just the money, which was for our future. The plan was to purchase an affordable home and pay it off quickly. But he lied to me, strung me along and stole from me, because half of that money was mine. There is no chance he can repay it. My trust in him and our marriage is broken. What are your thoughts? -- CRUSHED IN PALM HARBOR, FLA.

DEAR CRUSHED: Because the basis of any successful partnership -- and that includes marriage -- is trust, I think you have some serious thinking to do. And if you decide to remain married to your husband, you should have access to all documents connected to both your finances in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I am blessed to have many friends who invite me to parties and gatherings. I met a guy at one of them and we had a nice conversation. A few days later he called me. He said he'd gotten my number from our mutual friend. (I had given her permission to give it out to people who had been at the party.)

We talked some more and kept talking and exchanging emails over the course of a couple of months. Because it wasn't every day or even every week, I thought we were just friends.

At the next party he asked me out on a date -- a romantic date. This is a problem. I identify as an aromantic asexual. I do not feel the things he does. Having to explain my sexual orientation to people is embarrassing. Any advice on how to convey this without ruining the friendship we have developed? -- EMBARRASSED IN INDIANA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Try saying it this way: "I'm flattered, but it would be better if we remain just friends. I think you're terrific, but I am not a romantic or sexual person. It has nothing to do with you. It's just the way I am and always have been."

DEAR ABBY: I am a strong and independent 18-year-old girl. I have been with my boyfriend, "Cash," for four years and he has been an ever-present rock in my life. His 21st birthday is soon, and I'm afraid it may alter our relationship because of things he will be able to do, such as drinking. I want some form of commitment from him before his birthday, so I can be sure he's as serious about our relationship as I am.

Cash says he doesn't want to make a commitment now because he wants time to be young and stupid. I understand where he's coming from, but it seems like he's setting us up for disaster. Why can't we be young and stupid together? I'm not asking for marriage now, but a long engagement would prove his devotion to me. Isn't this a reasonable expectation? If it is, how do I tell him? -- WANTS SOME COMMITMENT IN NEBRASKA

DEAR WANTS: For a young woman who is strong and independent, you appear to be somewhat clingy and needy. Commitments such as the kind you're looking for must be made voluntarily, not as a result of arm-twisting. The harder you try to rope Cash in, the more confined he's going to feel, so my advice is to loosen up or you stand a good chance of driving him away.