DEAR ABBY: When parents who live many miles away from their adult children visit their homes, to what extent should they be treated as "guests"? When we visit our son, our daughter-in-law gets herself a snack and then sits down to eat it and watch TV, and there we sit. She never offers us a thing. Are we expecting too much or doesn't she have any manners?
Also, when we have a meal in their home, they get their own beverages and never mention anything about what is available to us. We're not used to this kind of treatment. Have you any thoughts on how to handle this without causing any rift? -- DISRESPECTED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR DISRESPECTED: Assume that your daughter-in-law behaves this way because she doesn't know any better. As for your son, because he wasn't raised this way, he is either thoughtless, rude or following his wife's lead.
Because you're all family, things should be informal. The way to handle it is to speak up and tell your hosts that you're hungry and/or thirsty, too. If it's said with a smile, it shouldn't cause a rift.