DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are happily married and will celebrate 15 years of marriage next year. We have a 5-year-old daughter. Our dilemma is whether or not we should have another child.

I'm 38 and my husband is 40. We have become comfortable with the fact that our daughter is getting more independent. We plan on doing a lot of traveling, and I will change jobs after I complete school. We are not sure about starting over with a baby.

We are doing OK financially, and if we have a second child, it would have to be within the next year, while I finish my classes and can be home to be with the baby. Our daughter is well-adjusted, and we plan on putting her in activities such as dance and gymnastics.

We would like your opinion, and also to hear from parents who had only one child, as well as people who were raised without a sibling. -- MAYBE ONLY ONE IN GEORGIA

DEAR MAYBE ONLY ONE: If you are considering enlarging your family only so your daughter will have a sibling, I don't recommend it. What the six-year age difference means is that your children will not grow up "together." By the time the younger one is starting high school, the older one will be in college and gone. Even when they are closer in age, it's no guarantee that siblings will be close.

I cannot -- and should not -- decide this for you. I am throwing your question open to my readers and will share their opinions with you. However, I'm sure they will be varied.

DEAR ABBY: I am generally a conservative person. My 17-year-old son, "Leo," asked for an ear piercing when he was 13. I wasn't sure whether I liked the kind of impression it made, but because it was only one piercing, I agreed on the condition that he would stop at one hole.

When Leo was 15, he begged to have dreadlocks. Thinking it was a phase, I allowed it even though I wasn't thrilled. He has since cut off the dreads, but now says he wants an eyebrow piercing.

My son is a loving, wonderful, happy kid. He's active in school, well-liked, and an excellent student in an advanced academic program. I couldn't honestly think of a good reason to say no, even though this piercing freaks me out. I sense that Leo wants to do more piercings, but he's respectful enough to wait awhile.

My question is, what is a good reason to not agree to more piercings? Every argument I've thought of -- unsightly, unsanitary, makes the wrong impression -- is rather thin.

My 12-year-old daughter wants to dye her hair purple. I'm saying no, but still have no good reason for that, either. Am I just too old-fashioned? -- NOT-WITH-IT MOM IN MACCABIM, ISRAEL

DEAR NOT-WITH-IT MOM: Tell your son he was born with a perfect body. When you agreed to the ear piercing, it was on the condition that there would be only one piercing, and you expect him to keep his part of the bargain. If he asks for a further explanation, tell him it's because he has enough holes in his head.

As to your daughter, remember it's only hair and it will grow out. If this is her only form of rebellion, consider yourself lucky.

As to your being "too old-fashioned," it's a mother's job to be old-fashioned. Keep up the good work.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old woman with a fantastic job, a wonderful boyfriend and many friends whom I love dearly. I'm the only one without a child.

Maybe I don't understand because I'm not a parent myself, but all my friends can talk about is children. Whereas before, we were interested in each other's lives, I feel like my concerns and accomplishments are being brushed off. An example: I was excited to meet up with a pal to talk about my promotion, but the hour-long dinner was spent mostly teaching her child how to walk between the tables of the restaurant.

I enjoy hearing about my friends and their families, but I feel they are no longer interested in me. Am I expecting too much because we're at different points in our lives, or am I a bad friend? I'm growing resentful, and I don't like it. Any words of wisdom? -- STILL RELEVANT IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR STILL RELEVANT: You and your friends are at different stages of life. When you were in your teens, you and your friends would talk about dating. Then, as you grew older, the conversations revolved around college, jobs and marriage. As people experience the later stages of life, they talk about other things that are going on in their lives -- children, grandkids, aging parents and, finally, their own health concerns.

You'll maintain and enjoy these friendships longer if you understand that. In the meantime, try to set some "adult time only" with your friends.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for 14 years and have dated some, but not a lot. I recently signed up for an online dating service, and here is my dilemma: I have a felony conviction from 25-plus years ago. It did not involve violence, drugs, sex, stealing, etc. It was for a white-collar crime. I received four years of probation, which I served without a hitch.

My question is not if I should tell someone about my conviction, but when. If I say anything at our first meeting, I'm pretty sure it will also be the last meeting. At the same time, I don't want it to appear that I was hiding it from them.

I might add, this is the only time I have ever been in trouble with the law. I'd appreciate your advice on how to deal with this. -- ONLINE DATING IN TEXAS

DEAR DATING: The time to tell someone about your conviction is when the relationship stops being casual. At that point, you should disclose that there is a chapter from your past that you think the person should know about -- and it's one that will never be repeated.

DEAR ABBY: After 25 years, I have finally admitted to myself that I'm married to a workaholic, alcoholic womanizer. I have devoted my entire adult life, my time, effort and energy to my family. Now I feel used, abused and disrespected. I'm grateful to be a member of Al-Anon. It has helped me to understand that I cannot change anyone but me.

I have raised three great, successful grown kids. I have yet to make a decision for myself. I married for life. Must I continue to suffer in silence? Or do I hope that there is love, kindness and respect out there to be had? -- STALLING IN IOWA

DEAR STALLING: Let me remind you what you've already learned in Al-Anon: You cannot change anyone but yourself. The same is true of your circumstances.

You are entitled to receive the same love and respect that you offer to others. I cannot guarantee that you'll find love. Because your workaholic, alcoholic, womanizing husband hasn't changed in a quarter of a century, it's obvious he has no intention of doing so.

You don't need to find another man in order to be happier than you are now. Being alone could give you peace, contentment and happiness. The question you need to answer honestly for yourself is whether you would be happier without your husband's negative influence in your life.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 37 years has an exciting career she loves. Unfortunately, her job is 80 miles away from home. We own a condo in her work city. So recently, when she was complaining about the commute, I suggested she stay there for a week, then telecommute from home for a week, etc. She loves the new schedule.

I, on the other hand, am kicking myself! I have recently started working again at 62, and I'm lonely. It's depressing to come home to an empty house every other week, but I'm the one who suggested it. Her job could last another two to five years.

We have five grandchildren who live close by, so moving to her location isn't an option. What do I do about this? -- MISSING HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISSING HER: You tell your wife that although you suggested she stay in the condo for a week at a time, it isn't working for you, and you're miserable without her. Or, you accept that a 160-mile daily commute may have become too much for her and fill your lonely hours by getting a hobby and baby-sitting some of those grandchildren whose parents might like some adult time together. But the one thing you shouldn't do is sit and silently brood because it isn't healthy.

DEAR ABBY: My niece had a bridal shower last March. When thank-you notes didn't arrive for the gifts she had been given, she said they were "lost in the mail" and she would thank everyone in her wedding thank-yous. Abby, she was married last May and she hasn't sent out thank-you notes for her wedding gifts, either.

The gifts my parents and I gave her were expensive, and I am upset about it. By the way, she wasn't too busy to write them because she doesn't work. Should I confront her or let it go? -- DISGUSTED IN MIDDLEBURG HEIGHTS, OHIO

DEAR DISGUSTED: Your sibling did a poor job of raising her daughter. If your niece didn't know that thank-you notes were supposed to have been sent for her shower gifts, she wouldn't have lied about them having been lost in the mail.

However, I see nothing to be gained by confronting her. If you do, it will cause your sibling to become defensive. Better to make note of it and respond accordingly when the baby shower invitations start coming in because that's what is sure to come next.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and recently engaged. My parents refuse to acknowledge my ring or discuss my wedding plans. I have brought up the idea of moving to where my fiance is, but they think it's a horrible idea because they'll miss me. My grandfather has been trying to guilt-trip me into staying by saying things like, "We would miss you. But you don't care about that or us at all!"

It's not true, Abby. How do I keep my family informed about my wedding plans and move within the next three months without them feeling hurt? -- DETERMINED IN TEXAS

DEAR DETERMINED: Tell your parents and grandparents that you love them, but you're an adult and need to go where your fiance is. Tell them you and your fiance would love to have them present when you take your vows, and hope they will be emotionally supportive. Be sure to calmly explain that your decision has nothing to do with not caring about them; it's about building a future with the man you love. They may miss you, but in time they'll adjust.