DEAR ABBY: As the education director of the East Bay Bicycle Coalition, I work hard to encourage safe and courteous cycling for everyday transportation in Northern California. There are a number of points I would like to address to "Caring Reader, Sacramento, Calif." (Sept. 13).

"Caring" described seeing bicyclists run stop signs, not wear protective gear, texting/talking on cellphones, and suggested a greater enforcement of the law. Rolling through stop signs is, indeed, just as illegal as it is while driving a vehicle, except in Idaho where cyclists may treat stop signs as yields. I encourage all cyclists and drivers to come to a complete stop at signs and signals, even when turning right, and especially when pedestrians are present.

Talking or texting on a cellphone while biking isn't currently illegal in the state of California. I feel that using cellphones while biking is an unsafe practice, and I encourage cyclists (or drivers) to simply pull over before making or taking a call.

Helmets are required gear only for bicyclists under the age of 18 in California. As an adult, I choose to wear one when I'm biking. However, it is not illegal for an adult to bike without a helmet.

You said in your response that people who cycle at night should avoid wearing dark clothes to increase their visibility, but clothes color alone has been shown to have little or no effect on visibility in dark conditions. During low-light times of day like dawn or dusk, wearing bright or fluorescent clothes is a good strategy, but at night bicyclists should rely on lights and reflectors to be seen.

The law in California stipulates that bicyclists must have a white headlight, a red rear reflector and yellow or white reflectors on their wheels or spokes as well as on their pedals, shoes or ankles. However, I also recommend adding to these required items: a red rear light, and additional lights and reflectors at the front, rear and sides of the bike, or on one's clothing or helmet. Highlighting one's silhouette with lights and reflectors, and applying them to moving parts of one's bike or body, will increase visibility substantially after dark.

Abby, thanks for your attention to these issues. -- ROBERT PRINZ, OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR MR. PRINZ: You're welcome. And thank you for kindly sharing your expertise with my readers.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my 40-year-old stepson, "Rod," gave his father a beautiful robe for Christmas. The problem is, we had given the robe to Rod for Christmas several years ago. I didn't say anything at the time, but, of course, I recognized it because I was the one who had bought it for him.

Should I have said anything? Or was I right to have played dumb (which is what I did)?

Rod has "saved" other presents we have given him and regifted them to us years later. This man has a high-paying job and isn't hurting for money. I think what he's doing is insulting. I have suggested not exchanging gifts, but he ignores me. What can I do about this in the future? -- "RECYCLEE" IN THE SOUTH

DEAR "RECYCLEE": Rod may have forgotten that he got the robe from you. As I see it, you have two choices. You can be offended, or you can turn it into a joke. For this Christmas, give him the robe back.

DEAR ABBY: I'm considering marrying a man who is divorced. We get along great, and I love and trust him.

Is it ever appropriate to call the ex and discuss her side of the story? Or should I ask my boyfriend what she'd say if I were to contact her? -- COVERING MY BASES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COVERING YOUR BASES: If you call the ex, you can count on hearing something negative about your boyfriend or they wouldn't be exes. Also, the things the ex might consider to be flaws may be the qualities you love best about him.

That you would say you love and trust your boyfriend, and in the next sentence indicate you're considering a chat with his former wife, makes me wonder how deep your level of trust is. However, if your gut tells you to do some digging, then you should listen to it -- even if it results in an argument, which it probably will.

DEAR ABBY: I'm proud of my daughter, "Celia." She has a master's degree, a successful career and is soon to be married to a wonderful man.

Through three moves my wife and I have cared for our daughter's one-ton-plus of "stuff," which includes the big dollhouse her grandpa built, her doll collection, high school and college memorabilia, her diaries, dishes for her future home, etc. When she visited, I'd ask her to sort through the boxes and throw some things out. Didn't happen.

My wife and I have downsized to a condo. The room that was supposed to be my "man cave" is half-filled with Celia's things. It is TIME!

Should I request that our daughter pay for storage, or rent a U-Haul so I can deliver a one-ton-plus "wedding gift"? -- DISGRUNTLED DAD IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR DAD: I can think of few things that would destroy the ambiance of a man cave more than a dollhouse. With a successful career, your daughter can afford to pay for a storage unit for her memorabilia. Set a date by which it must be out of your condo, with the understanding that if it isn't, you will dispose of it. You should not have to deliver it to her. You have been patient long enough, and the responsibility is hers.

DEAR ABBY: I am a longtime practicing Pagan. Because of the media, Pagans are considered to be evil devil-worshippers instead of the nature-loving people with knowledge of home remedies we are. This makes it difficult in the dating world.

A friend of mine wants to hook me up with a friend of his. When is it appropriate to tell the gentleman that I'm a practicing Pagan? I dress like everyone else, so at first glance you wouldn't suspect my religion isn't Christian. -- LOVER OF NATURE

DEAR LOVER OF NATURE: Nothing compels you and a stranger to get into a discussion about religious beliefs on a first date, but you should mention it when the opportunity arises. If the man seems to be put off by it, suggest he consult patheos.com, an online library on the subject of religions, in which there is a section describing Paganism, its practices and origins. It should make for a stimulating discussion.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single 25-year-old man with a 15-month-old son. I didn't plan on having any children, but my son is everything to me. His mother and I did not work out well living together. We had different priorities and personalities and could not comfortably coexist.

I have no ill will toward "Andrea." She's a great person and a phenomenal mom. My dilemma is I constantly regret not working harder to stay with her. I see her new boyfriend with my son and it kills me. I see my son only on my two days off. I wish I could see him more than that, but the only way I could see it happening is if Andrea and I got back together.

Everyone I know says we made the right choice for the three of us, but they may be biased toward my side of the situation. I'm afraid of not being there for my boy like my father wasn't there for me when I was a kid. I don't think 18 hours a week with my child will be enough to prevent him from feeling the same way I did. -- TORN FATHER IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR TORN: You have some serious thinking to do. Feeling as you do, that you didn't try hard enough to save your relationship, discuss it with your ex and see how she feels about the possibility of a reconciliation.

However, while I admire your desire to be a good father, it would be unfair to Andrea to try to get back together only to spend more time with your son. Consider asking her how she'd feel about you having him one night during the week in addition to your days off. Because the breakup wasn't acrimonious, she may welcome the idea and agree.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a condo complex and am appalled at the disgusting mess some residents leave behind in the laundry room. It's hard to fathom that people are unaware that they are expected to empty the lint screen after using the dryer. My husband says they just don't care.

Why should I have to empty it just so I can use the machine? People also leave the tops and insides of the machines dirty with lint, hair and what looks like mites. Don't you agree that people should wipe the laundry area down if they've left a mess? -- TIDY IN NORTHAMPTON, MASS.

DEAR TIDY: Whether I agree is less important than whether the board of directors of your condominium association does. Bring this up at the next homeowners meeting and ask that some rules be set and a sign posted in the laundry room "reminding" those who use it to PLEASE be sure the machines are left clean when they are finished using them. I can't guarantee this will eliminate the problem, but it may help.

P.S. If you are correct about seeing mites in the laundry room, the manager should be informed so an exterminator can visit the complex and eradicate the infestation.

DEAR ABBY: What's the proper response when a woman tells you, "You're a lucky woman to have such a good husband who loves you so much"? That phrase bothers me because I feel it is a slap in my face -- like what am I, chopped liver? Am I not worthy of a wonderful marriage and family?

It is usually said by women who are unfamiliar with our lives and the struggles we have both endured since we met each other. Do I say thank you? Smile? Ignore it? I would never tell another woman she is lucky to have her man because I feel it's an insult. Am I overreacting? -- HE'S LUCKY, TOO, IN COLORADO

DEAR HE'S LUCKY, TOO: Yes. The women who acknowledge how lucky you are may be comparing the way your husband treats you in public to the way they are treated by their husbands. Instead of being defensive, smile and say, "I agree. We're lucky to have each other."