DEAR ABBY: I'm considering marrying a man who is divorced. We get along great, and I love and trust him.

Is it ever appropriate to call the ex and discuss her side of the story? Or should I ask my boyfriend what she'd say if I were to contact her? -- COVERING MY BASES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COVERING YOUR BASES: If you call the ex, you can count on hearing something negative about your boyfriend or they wouldn't be exes. Also, the things the ex might consider to be flaws may be the qualities you love best about him.

That you would say you love and trust your boyfriend, and in the next sentence indicate you're considering a chat with his former wife, makes me wonder how deep your level of trust is. However, if your gut tells you to do some digging, then you should listen to it -- even if it results in an argument, which it probably will.

DEAR ABBY: I'm proud of my daughter, "Celia." She has a master's degree, a successful career and is soon to be married to a wonderful man.

Through three moves my wife and I have cared for our daughter's one-ton-plus of "stuff," which includes the big dollhouse her grandpa built, her doll collection, high school and college memorabilia, her diaries, dishes for her future home, etc. When she visited, I'd ask her to sort through the boxes and throw some things out. Didn't happen.

My wife and I have downsized to a condo. The room that was supposed to be my "man cave" is half-filled with Celia's things. It is TIME!

Should I request that our daughter pay for storage, or rent a U-Haul so I can deliver a one-ton-plus "wedding gift"? -- DISGRUNTLED DAD IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR DAD: I can think of few things that would destroy the ambiance of a man cave more than a dollhouse. With a successful career, your daughter can afford to pay for a storage unit for her memorabilia. Set a date by which it must be out of your condo, with the understanding that if it isn't, you will dispose of it. You should not have to deliver it to her. You have been patient long enough, and the responsibility is hers.

DEAR ABBY: I am a longtime practicing Pagan. Because of the media, Pagans are considered to be evil devil-worshippers instead of the nature-loving people with knowledge of home remedies we are. This makes it difficult in the dating world.

A friend of mine wants to hook me up with a friend of his. When is it appropriate to tell the gentleman that I'm a practicing Pagan? I dress like everyone else, so at first glance you wouldn't suspect my religion isn't Christian. -- LOVER OF NATURE

DEAR LOVER OF NATURE: Nothing compels you and a stranger to get into a discussion about religious beliefs on a first date, but you should mention it when the opportunity arises. If the man seems to be put off by it, suggest he consult patheos.com, an online library on the subject of religions, in which there is a section describing Paganism, its practices and origins. It should make for a stimulating discussion.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single 25-year-old man with a 15-month-old son. I didn't plan on having any children, but my son is everything to me. His mother and I did not work out well living together. We had different priorities and personalities and could not comfortably coexist.

I have no ill will toward "Andrea." She's a great person and a phenomenal mom. My dilemma is I constantly regret not working harder to stay with her. I see her new boyfriend with my son and it kills me. I see my son only on my two days off. I wish I could see him more than that, but the only way I could see it happening is if Andrea and I got back together.

Everyone I know says we made the right choice for the three of us, but they may be biased toward my side of the situation. I'm afraid of not being there for my boy like my father wasn't there for me when I was a kid. I don't think 18 hours a week with my child will be enough to prevent him from feeling the same way I did. -- TORN FATHER IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR TORN: You have some serious thinking to do. Feeling as you do, that you didn't try hard enough to save your relationship, discuss it with your ex and see how she feels about the possibility of a reconciliation.

However, while I admire your desire to be a good father, it would be unfair to Andrea to try to get back together only to spend more time with your son. Consider asking her how she'd feel about you having him one night during the week in addition to your days off. Because the breakup wasn't acrimonious, she may welcome the idea and agree.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a condo complex and am appalled at the disgusting mess some residents leave behind in the laundry room. It's hard to fathom that people are unaware that they are expected to empty the lint screen after using the dryer. My husband says they just don't care.

Why should I have to empty it just so I can use the machine? People also leave the tops and insides of the machines dirty with lint, hair and what looks like mites. Don't you agree that people should wipe the laundry area down if they've left a mess? -- TIDY IN NORTHAMPTON, MASS.

DEAR TIDY: Whether I agree is less important than whether the board of directors of your condominium association does. Bring this up at the next homeowners meeting and ask that some rules be set and a sign posted in the laundry room "reminding" those who use it to PLEASE be sure the machines are left clean when they are finished using them. I can't guarantee this will eliminate the problem, but it may help.

P.S. If you are correct about seeing mites in the laundry room, the manager should be informed so an exterminator can visit the complex and eradicate the infestation.

DEAR ABBY: What's the proper response when a woman tells you, "You're a lucky woman to have such a good husband who loves you so much"? That phrase bothers me because I feel it is a slap in my face -- like what am I, chopped liver? Am I not worthy of a wonderful marriage and family?

It is usually said by women who are unfamiliar with our lives and the struggles we have both endured since we met each other. Do I say thank you? Smile? Ignore it? I would never tell another woman she is lucky to have her man because I feel it's an insult. Am I overreacting? -- HE'S LUCKY, TOO, IN COLORADO

DEAR HE'S LUCKY, TOO: Yes. The women who acknowledge how lucky you are may be comparing the way your husband treats you in public to the way they are treated by their husbands. Instead of being defensive, smile and say, "I agree. We're lucky to have each other."

DEAR ABBY: I was laid off from work, but my husband, "Keith," works full-time in a factory. We live with his parents. By the time Keith gets home from work and gets cleaned up, it's time to eat dinner. Immediately afterward, we always follow the same routine: We go in our bedroom and he goes on the computer to play video games, while I sit and watch TV and play on my phone.

We love each other and rarely disagree about things, but this isn't fun for me. I have told Keith I feel ignored and I'd love to do something with him. He says because our town is smallish, there's not a lot to do that doesn't cost money.

Keith is into the video games, so much so that when we first met, he'd sit in his bedroom and play for hours on end. We're planning a vacation in the next month or so, so it's not like we do nothing at all. But I don't know how to improve our situation. -- CALLING FOR HELP IN KOKOMO, IND.

DEAR CALLING FOR HELP: After a hard day's work, your husband may just want to sit down and relax. But that doesn't mean you couldn't schedule some activity together on a weekend -- hiking, skating, kayaking, going to an art show or seeing what's scheduled at the convention center. You could also make a date with other young married couples, or occasionally schedule a girls' night out with some of your female friends.

I agree that it's important for you and your husband not to get into a rut. That's why you need to budget so you can get out and have some fun together a few times a month.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I met "Holly," the love of my life. We married and had a child. Soon after our son's birth, I found out Holly had a boyfriend on the side. Our divorce was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Because of her instability, I was granted custody of our son.

Since the divorce I have developed an attraction to men. Is this normal after a nasty divorce? I never thought of myself as gay or bi until about a year afterward. I know that I never again want to experience the pain I went through.

I have been celibate now for almost four years, and I'm trying my best to set a good example for my son. I miss having someone to hold and share life with, but in the area where I live, having a gay relationship would cause me to lose my son. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. -- IS THIS NORMAL? IN ARIZONA

DEAR NORMAL: It is important that you determine exactly who you are, whether it is a walking-wounded heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. A licensed psychotherapist can help you with this, and do it in confidence.

Regardless of your sexual orientation, you should realize that when breakups happen between couples -- and that includes male/male, female/female and heterosexual -- there is usually heartbreak involved. However, without risk there can be no reward, and celibacy is not the answer. If it turns out that you are, indeed, gay, then you should consider relocating to a more gay-friendly area.