DEAR ABBY: I managed a retail store for 10 years, and I can relate to the shop owner who signed herself "Had It With Overindulged Kids" (June 28). She could turn things around by creating a designated play area and market to the children by taking any opened items and placing them there for a children's testing ground.

I had a "play table" with toys to keep them busy while their moms shopped. I put a gated area around it and a dads' bench in front of it so they could watch the children.

They are your customers. So cater to them and be thankful the parents shop in your store. Learn the children's names and suggest new age-appropriate products. If you don't have the time, hire someone who loves children and has the patience to play with them in a controlled environment. -- JOYCE FROM MICHIGAN

DEAR JOYCE: Thank you for the helpful advice. Customers and retailers alike shared their experiences. Many of them questioned whether the children always misbehaved this badly in public and blamed their behavior on today's parenting skills -- or lack thereof. Here's a sampling:

DEAR ABBY: I shopped at a local store for years, but gave up when the place seemed overrun by unruly children and distracted parents. Out of desperation, I took a job there and vowed to find a way to make the parents rein in their youngsters.

One: I posted a sign that read, "IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU BOUGHT IT." If they refused, I didn't push the issue, but I did gesture upward. They would always look up, and when they did, I'd thank them for smiling at our cameras.

Two: Any child found unaccompanied would be escorted to our customer service area and the parents paged repeatedly until they showed up.

Since I instituted these policies, the condition of the store has improved, the morale of the employees has improved, sales have risen, and old customers who left due to the old circumstances are returning. -- SURVIVOR OF RETAIL HELL

DEAR ABBY: I was in a shop where a sign behind the counter read: "Unattended Children Will Be Sold!" It was enough to get most parents' (and kids') attention while eliciting smiles at the same time. -- NONNA OF FIVE

DEAR ABBY: You mentioned posting a sign at the cash register. No, Abby, it should be at the entrance, so parents see it at the time they walk in.

Or how about a different sign: "Well-Behaved Children Will Win a Prize," then rewarding such children with a small gift? It would be worth the expense of small tokens of appreciation compared to the cost of broken merchandise.

I sympathize with "Had It." Parents often take kids on outings, believing they're spending quality time with them. But I see parents ignore their children and spend their time on electronic gadgets, leaving the unsupervised youngsters to run amok. Too bad for the children. -- GLORIA IN LAFAYETTE, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I like the sign a friend of mine put up in her store: "Unattended children will be given espresso and a puppy and returned to their parents." -- MARJORY IN BLOWING ROCK, N.C.

DEAR ABBY: I owned a small business with designated play areas for many years. One mom came in repeatedly with her two small sons, who were completely unruly and disruptive. I spoke to her several times, but I was wasting my breath. Here's how I solved the problem:

When Mom checked out, I added the items the terrible twosome destroyed to her bill. When I told her how much she owed, she insisted it must be a mistake. I said, "No mistake; these items belong to your kids." She paid the bill and remained a customer, but the kids were never with her again. -- HAD ENOUGH, GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: I am divorced, successful, and the father of two teenage girls. I have been seeing my girlfriend, "Stella," for a year and a half. She also has two teenage daughters. When we met, Stella's divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.

I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one she wanted to move into. She agreed she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.

Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn't gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I'm getting resentful.

It's not the money (I've got plenty), but I feel she continues to see me only so she can live rent-free. Our communication isn't the greatest, and she gets angry if this topic is brought up. How should I approach her without sounding like a cheapskate? -- DON'T WANT TO BE A SUGAR DADDY IN CHICAGO

DEAR SUGAR DADDY: Of course she gets angry! Have you never heard the saying, "The best defense is a strong offense"?

If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, "When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It's been a year, and you haven't even looked for a job." Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.

Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant's rights that will have to be respected. It doesn't take a crystal ball to see that you will probably have to evict her -- so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 31-year-old son, "Johann," who is in the Navy. He just posted a picture of himself in his uniform on Facebook. I am praying it's not his official photo, because he made an incredibly stupid face on it.

He used to do this when he was a child. Even his high school photos look like this. It is embarrassing to me! I could never show it to anyone and proudly say, "This is my son."

Johann is an accomplished young man, a supervisor. But I can't reconcile this picture with the man he is. What can I do? -- FREAKED OUT IN GERMANY

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Your son is an adult. If he is making this expression in photographs on purpose, perhaps it's time you asked him why. While it may be a display of immaturity on his part, it could also be that he is uncomfortable in front of a camera. (Many people are. It's referred to as "deer-in-the-headlights" syndrome.)

Explain that you would love to have a picture of him that depicts how he really is, and ask if he would be willing, as a favor to his mother, to sit for a session with a professional photographer when he comes home for a visit. If he isn't, then perhaps he'd be more relaxed posing for a photo that you take.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Tina," and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Everything has been going great except for one thing. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.

Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee's hurt feelings. What can I do? -- AT A LOSS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR AT A LOSS: Continue being supportive and help Tina to maintain her self-esteem. But her weight issue is her responsibility, not yours. If she becomes frustrated or depressed that she isn't losing quickly enough, suggest she consult her doctor or a registered dietitian about the reason why.

DEAR ABBY: I meet my dad for dinner once a week, which we both enjoy and have done for years. Dad stays very healthy and enjoys running and biking, which I completely support and admire him for.

The problem is, he has started running to our meals. He sweats a lot when he runs, so he arrives at the restaurant literally dripping. He then grabs a handful of napkins to wipe off, and lifts his shirt to wipe his face and neck with it. Abby, he's so sweaty that he has dripped on the counter when he signed the receipt.

I find this unbelievably rude, not just to me but to the restaurant. This wouldn't even be appropriate in a fast-food joint -- but this isn't one. It's a nice restaurant where people are trying to enjoy their meal. I feel if he wants to run to our dinners, he should arrange to get there early enough so he can dry off in a bathroom and change his shirt. He insists it's no big deal and that sweating is "normal."

What should I do? This is really getting to me. -- DISGUSTED IN SEATTLE

DEAR DISGUSTED: While I, too, admire your father's dedication to physical fitness, I can understand why his behavior would bother you. It is gross. If you haven't already expressed to him how inconsiderate this is, please do.

Because your father likes to run to the restaurant, consider stashing a supply of towels and shirts in the trunk of your car for him to change into in the men's room out of view of other patrons. (And don't forget the deodorant.) If he refuses to cooperate, then please -- for everyone's sake -- pick him up and transport him to the restaurant. Just reading your letter is enough to make the famished lose their appetite.

DEAR ABBY: I was 33 and newly divorced when I was finally able to experience living by myself. I kind of loved it. My boyfriend, "Alex," and I have lived together for almost four years and I almost never get time to be by myself.

Alex gets alone time because I'll sometimes have dinner with girlfriends, volunteer, go to the theater, etc. But he almost never leaves. He's somewhat social, but he always invites people over; he never goes to them. I have told Alex many times that I need him to give me some time alone in the house, but nothing comes of it.

He left for a couple of days to visit a relative two years ago (it was partly my idea) and it was great! I loved my solitude, and it was also nice to welcome Alex back home afterward. It was the first time I'd had a break! I don't want to wait another two years to get my house to myself for a while, but how? -- CRAVES "ME" TIME IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR CRAVES "ME" TIME: In order to accomplish it, you are going to have to become more proactive. Many people need solitude to decompress; you are not the only one.

Tell Alex you need time alone in the house and that he will need to make other plans for a specific day. If that's hard for him, call some of the friends he has been inviting over -- after all this time, you probably know most of them -- and ask them to invite him over a couple of times a month. They may be able to help you pry him out of the house. If they are unsuccessful, it looks like Alex will have to visit his relatives on a more regular basis.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man with a 14-year-old daughter who sits in the front seat of the car when we go anywhere, while I must sit in the back. I think when we go places, I should sit in the front seat. What do you think? -- FUMING IN THE BACK SEAT

DEAR FUMING: I think you and the daughter should alternate, and the person to suggest it should be her father. Under no circumstances should there be any whiff of competition, because if it comes across that way, the person not riding in the car will be you.