DEAR ABBY: I am divorced, successful, and the father of two teenage girls. I have been seeing my girlfriend, "Stella," for a year and a half. She also has two teenage daughters. When we met, Stella's divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.

I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one she wanted to move into. She agreed she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.

Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn't gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I'm getting resentful.

It's not the money (I've got plenty), but I feel she continues to see me only so she can live rent-free. Our communication isn't the greatest, and she gets angry if this topic is brought up. How should I approach her without sounding like a cheapskate? -- DON'T WANT TO BE A SUGAR DADDY IN CHICAGO

DEAR SUGAR DADDY: Of course she gets angry! Have you never heard the saying, "The best defense is a strong offense"?

If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, "When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It's been a year, and you haven't even looked for a job." Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.

Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant's rights that will have to be respected. It doesn't take a crystal ball to see that you will probably have to evict her -- so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 31-year-old son, "Johann," who is in the Navy. He just posted a picture of himself in his uniform on Facebook. I am praying it's not his official photo, because he made an incredibly stupid face on it.

He used to do this when he was a child. Even his high school photos look like this. It is embarrassing to me! I could never show it to anyone and proudly say, "This is my son."

Johann is an accomplished young man, a supervisor. But I can't reconcile this picture with the man he is. What can I do? -- FREAKED OUT IN GERMANY

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Your son is an adult. If he is making this expression in photographs on purpose, perhaps it's time you asked him why. While it may be a display of immaturity on his part, it could also be that he is uncomfortable in front of a camera. (Many people are. It's referred to as "deer-in-the-headlights" syndrome.)

Explain that you would love to have a picture of him that depicts how he really is, and ask if he would be willing, as a favor to his mother, to sit for a session with a professional photographer when he comes home for a visit. If he isn't, then perhaps he'd be more relaxed posing for a photo that you take.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Tina," and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Everything has been going great except for one thing. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.

Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee's hurt feelings. What can I do? -- AT A LOSS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR AT A LOSS: Continue being supportive and help Tina to maintain her self-esteem. But her weight issue is her responsibility, not yours. If she becomes frustrated or depressed that she isn't losing quickly enough, suggest she consult her doctor or a registered dietitian about the reason why.

DEAR ABBY: I meet my dad for dinner once a week, which we both enjoy and have done for years. Dad stays very healthy and enjoys running and biking, which I completely support and admire him for.

The problem is, he has started running to our meals. He sweats a lot when he runs, so he arrives at the restaurant literally dripping. He then grabs a handful of napkins to wipe off, and lifts his shirt to wipe his face and neck with it. Abby, he's so sweaty that he has dripped on the counter when he signed the receipt.

I find this unbelievably rude, not just to me but to the restaurant. This wouldn't even be appropriate in a fast-food joint -- but this isn't one. It's a nice restaurant where people are trying to enjoy their meal. I feel if he wants to run to our dinners, he should arrange to get there early enough so he can dry off in a bathroom and change his shirt. He insists it's no big deal and that sweating is "normal."

What should I do? This is really getting to me. -- DISGUSTED IN SEATTLE

DEAR DISGUSTED: While I, too, admire your father's dedication to physical fitness, I can understand why his behavior would bother you. It is gross. If you haven't already expressed to him how inconsiderate this is, please do.

Because your father likes to run to the restaurant, consider stashing a supply of towels and shirts in the trunk of your car for him to change into in the men's room out of view of other patrons. (And don't forget the deodorant.) If he refuses to cooperate, then please -- for everyone's sake -- pick him up and transport him to the restaurant. Just reading your letter is enough to make the famished lose their appetite.

DEAR ABBY: I was 33 and newly divorced when I was finally able to experience living by myself. I kind of loved it. My boyfriend, "Alex," and I have lived together for almost four years and I almost never get time to be by myself.

Alex gets alone time because I'll sometimes have dinner with girlfriends, volunteer, go to the theater, etc. But he almost never leaves. He's somewhat social, but he always invites people over; he never goes to them. I have told Alex many times that I need him to give me some time alone in the house, but nothing comes of it.

He left for a couple of days to visit a relative two years ago (it was partly my idea) and it was great! I loved my solitude, and it was also nice to welcome Alex back home afterward. It was the first time I'd had a break! I don't want to wait another two years to get my house to myself for a while, but how? -- CRAVES "ME" TIME IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR CRAVES "ME" TIME: In order to accomplish it, you are going to have to become more proactive. Many people need solitude to decompress; you are not the only one.

Tell Alex you need time alone in the house and that he will need to make other plans for a specific day. If that's hard for him, call some of the friends he has been inviting over -- after all this time, you probably know most of them -- and ask them to invite him over a couple of times a month. They may be able to help you pry him out of the house. If they are unsuccessful, it looks like Alex will have to visit his relatives on a more regular basis.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man with a 14-year-old daughter who sits in the front seat of the car when we go anywhere, while I must sit in the back. I think when we go places, I should sit in the front seat. What do you think? -- FUMING IN THE BACK SEAT

DEAR FUMING: I think you and the daughter should alternate, and the person to suggest it should be her father. Under no circumstances should there be any whiff of competition, because if it comes across that way, the person not riding in the car will be you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 10-year-old son. "Zack's" a great kid, creative, funny and athletic. He has decided to grow his hair long. My husband and I figure it's not illegal or immoral, so why fight it?

My family does not share our opinion. My mom and sister are cruel in their opposition to Zack growing his hair. They tell him he looks like a girl and call him names. There have been bribes, bullying and instances of utter insanity on their part, trying to make him cut it.

My sister's son has been physically and verbally cruel to Zack, and she thinks it's funny. She's repeating a pattern from when we were children of being the "toughest" -- if you can't handle the abuse, you're a "baby."

I need to know how to stand up to these family members for my son. It's a struggle for me to speak to them face-to-face, and they have called me a coward for sending email messages. My mother lives alone and sometimes has suicidal thoughts. Zack is stressed because he loves his grandma, but can't deal with her harassment. Can you help? -- GUILT-RIDDEN AND STRESSED IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN AND STRESSED: I'll try. Somehow, for your son's sake, you must find the courage to tell your mother and your sister to their faces that if they don't knock it off immediately, they'll be seeing a lot less of you and Zack.

The dynamics in your family are unhealthy -- but you are an adult now and no longer have to tolerate it. Because Zack is athletic, enroll him in self-defense classes and make sure he knows he does not have to tolerate physical abuse from anyone and that includes his cousin.

As to "Grandma," your son's emotional health must take precedence over hers. I seriously doubt she'll kill herself if she doesn't have your son to make miserable, so don't feel guilty about it.

DEAR ABBY: I was on a bus yesterday and a woman seated near me complained about how long the trip was taking for so long and so loudly that I ended up "catching" her negative energy. Because I couldn't find a nice way to shut her up, I finally put on earphones and turned on my music.

When there is a toxic person in a public place, what is the best way to get them to stop spewing their hateful sewage onto everyone else? -- ALLISON IN BROOKLYN

DEAR ALLISON: The most obvious way would be to put physical distance between you and the person, if that's possible. If it isn't, then the way you handled it was appropriate. In the interest of safety, I would not recommend confronting a possibly emotionally disturbed individual.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are retired and financially secure. Our three adult children shower us with costly gifts on Christmas, birthdays, and Mother's Day and Father's Day. Most of them end up on our closet shelves.

How can we tell them that what we would really prefer is just a kind, handwritten (not store-bought) note with possibly a recent picture of them or our grandchildren enclosed? -- DAD WHO HAS IT ALL

DEAR DAD: Why not say it the same way you expressed it to me? You are financially secure. Your closets are filled. You don't have room for any more "things," and this is the kind of gift you would prefer. If they disregard your wishes and give you more gifts you can't use, you can always donate them to a needy family.