DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old daughter confided that she has become sexually involved with her boyfriend and asked if I would buy condoms for her. I agreed that she should protect herself and bought her a box of 12.

A week later, she informed me that she needed another 12-pack. When I asked why she had run out so quickly, she confessed that she has been supplying them to her girlfriends. Apparently they can't confide in their moms the way she can with me.

My dilemma is that condoms are expensive and, on one hand, I don't want to be the one supplying a group of kids. On the other hand, if I can help to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, maybe it's worth it. What do you think I should do? -- SAFE SEX ADVOCATE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SAFE SEX ADVOCATE: If your daughter's friends are old enough to be sexually active, they and their boyfriends should also be responsible enough to provide their own birth control. Generally, teens do not need the permission of their parents to receive information about it. Because you want to help them avoid unwanted pregnancies (as well as STDs), direct them to the nearest Planned Parenthood Center for low-cost or no-cost birth control and instruction on how to use it. There are 18 of these health centers in Illinois. To find the one closest to you, visit plannedparenthood.org.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three wonderful girls. The problem is my husband thinks the way to make them love him is by allowing them everything I don't. I'll give you some examples:

I don't let the girls eat anywhere except at the table, so my husband brings treats into the family room. I try to limit high-sugar/fat items like chips and candy, which he buys for them on a regular basis. I also try to adhere to a regular bedtime schedule, while he thinks nothing of stretching lights-out to an hour or more later.

Then he complains that the girls won't listen to him, so I must be in charge of the discipline. While this makes him Fun Daddy in our house, it makes me ... MEAN MOMMY IN OHIO

DEAR MOMMY: It appears you're not just raising three wonderful girls, but also coping with an immature, overgrown boy. Parenthood is supposed to be a united, consistent partnership, a team effort. Your husband is sabotaging you and ignoring that one of the responsibilities of parenthood is establishing rules and limits that children should live with.

Your husband needs parenting classes, and if that's not possible, some sessions with a child behavior expert who can explain the consequences of what he's doing to his daughters in the name of being "Fun Daddy." From my perspective, there isn't anything funny about it. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I work at a senior retirement community, and the residents have a Halloween party each year. In the past, there were prizes for the three best costumes. However, last year they stopped giving prizes because one of the residents is a professional artist and costume maker, and the association felt it would be unfair to the others to have him compete.

This year it was decided not to hold the contest at all. The residents are disappointed. How can they continue to have the costume contest and include the professional? -- DRESSED UP IN LOUISIANA

DEAR DRESSED UP: Ask the artist/costume designer to be the judge.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old girl in my third semester of college. My boyfriend, "Tom," attends a community college nearby. Both of us live with our parents. I have had only three boyfriends in my life, and Tom was my high school sweetheart.

Tom just proposed. I immediately accepted, but now I'm second-guessing my decision. We're just starting our adult lives, and I'm still learning what that entails. I want to study abroad during college to enhance my experience of the world. Also, because neither of us has ever moved beyond our childhood homes, I think we should both have more exposure about the world beyond.

Everyone is supportive of us, including our parents. I will always be committed to Tom and I trust him completely, but I feel that by prematurely locking ourselves in, we're setting ourselves up for failure. Am I overreacting? -- FLEDGLING FIANCEE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR FIANCEE: Not at all. The points you have made in your letter are well-reasoned. You are very young to be making a permanent commitment, and you're both entering a period of growth -- and possible divergence in your level of life experience. Tom may have proposed because he was afraid if he didn't, he might lose you now that you're attending different schools.

Tell Tom you care for him deeply, but think you jumped the gun. Make it clear that you would like to keep seeing him, but on a nonexclusive basis until you return from your studies abroad. I agree that by prematurely locking yourselves in, the odds of the relationship not lasting are high. Be sure Tom understands that you aren't trying to end the relationship, only postponing the engagement.

DEAR ABBY: I was always a laid-back and easygoing person. But I was in a terrible car accident, and ever since I have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. I have received counseling and function pretty well as long as I remain in a calm environment.

My problem is that my husband's family comes to visit each year for anywhere from four to eight days, and when they're here my stress level is very high. Their last three visits resulted in my getting migraine headaches, which I had never experienced before, as well as TMJ (pain in my jaw) and painful neuropathy, which the doctor explained was brought on by stress. It has lasted two months.

I like my in-laws, but I am unwilling to deal with more pain as a result of their visits. My husband doesn't want to send them to a hotel, which I understand. Therefore, I feel that since this is my problem, I should move to a hotel during their visits. What do you think, Abby? -- PUSHED TO THE LIMIT

DEAR PUSHED: Unless this is handled delicately -- and by that I mean carefully explained to your husband's family -- it could cause hurt feelings. Surely your in-laws are aware of your car accident. What they may not be aware of is the lingering damage it has caused. Your husband should explain this to his relatives and ask if they would mind staying elsewhere because of your medical condition.

If you can tolerate their "tumult" on a limited basis, this might solve the problem. If not, then I agree you should stay elsewhere so they can have a good time together. However, this should happen with full disclosure and preferably no hard feelings. If you can see any of them individually for a short time, you should make every effort so they won't feel you are avoiding them for any other reason.

DEAR ABBY: I am upset with myself for getting my granddaughter the cellphone she begged me for. I wish the phone companies would put restrictions on them. I wondered why she was feeling tired in the mornings until I caught her on the phone at 4 a.m. She can't get dressed in the morning because she's texting every two minutes.

When her friend, who she was always very active with, came over, the girl wound up watching a movie with me because my granddaughter would not stop texting in her bedroom. She wasn't like this until she got this new boyfriend, and he must have no life at all. Should I talk to his parents? It is consuming her life, morning, noon and night. I have told her she can't have the phone until her homework is done. -- FRUSTRATED GRANDMA IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRANDMA: You shouldn't expect the phone company to decide what is acceptable in your home. As the adult in your household, it's up to you to assert control. If your granddaughter lives with you, by all means talk to the boyfriend's parents about this.

But equally important, enforce cellphone limits. If you think she can't be trusted not to use it after lights-out, see that she gives you her phone at bedtime. In the morning, return it to her once she's dressed and ready for school. And when she invites friends over, make sure she understands it is her responsibility -- not yours -- to entertain them, because what she did was rude.

DEAR ABBY: I have met a darling man I'm compatible with in every way. We have similar tastes in just about everything from decorating and landscaping to entertainment.

My problem is his past. From what he says, he has never had a monogamous relationship, even during his marriage. After the divorce he pursued anything female.

When we are out at a club or a concert, I constantly encounter women he has been with. He tells me he is happy for the first time in his life and he would never cheat on me.

I have never been the jealous type, and I'm really not now. I just don't want to be the woman everyone is laughing at because they know his history. As I said, we are content and happy, but I need to move past this or move on, I guess. -- THE CURRENT WOMAN

DEAR CURRENT WOMAN: You say this "darling" man has never had a monogamous relationship -- before, during or after his marriage. Therefore, the odds aren't great that he'll have one with you.

It's time to ask yourself (not me) if you would be willing to tolerate his fooling around if you were his wife. Some women -- the wives of attractive or powerful men -- are open-minded about it if their husbands are discreet. The real question is, are you?

DEAR ABBY: I wrote to you three years ago about throwing parties on unique days, such as 7-7-07, 9-9-09, etc., and you printed my letter.

Well, I'm still at it, even though the special numbers have run out. I planned a brunch on 11-11-11. Everyone who attended chipped in $11 apiece. The money that was left over I donated to a hunger program. Twelve of us met for lunch at noon on 12-12-12, and this time each person paid -- guess how much -- $12.

This year, we'll be having brunch at 10:00 on 11-12-13, and I'm already planning ahead for next year's celebration, which will be on 12-13-14 at 1500 hours. Any suggestions? -- CLAIRE (AGAIN) IN BETHLEHEM, PA.

DEAR CLAIRE: You appear to be a fun, clever woman with a zest for life. And yes, I do have a suggestion. How about making next year's celebration a tea with a holiday theme? After all, "'tis the season," and any leftover money could be donated to a children's charity.