DEAR ABBY: I am a 19-year-old female who is serving in the U.S. Air Force. I'm stationed overseas at the moment, and I plan to make the military my career.

I have reached a point in life when I am ready to have a family. Unfortunately, I haven't found a man who is compatible with me. Every relationship I have ends because it conflicts with my military schedule.

I know adoption is a hard process, but I'm willing to go through it. What do you think about my trying to adopt as a single parent? -- UNSURE OF MY NEXT MOVE IN ENGLAND

DEAR UNSURE: I'm glad you asked because I think you're jumping the gun. At 19, your search for someone compatible has been limited because of your youth and job responsibilities.

Who would care for your little one if you, as a single mother, were transferred to a "hot spot," or injured or worse? Would relatives assume the responsibility? Before becoming a mother -- adoptive or otherwise -- it's important that you think about this realistically from the point of view of what would be best for the child. If you wait to become a parent until you are older, as many women do today, you will be better equipped emotionally and financially for the responsibility.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whose child is brilliant. He is testing in the 99.5 percentile. At 7, he is already far in advance of his classmates. He has read chapter books since age 5, is doing algebra and asking post-doctoral math and science questions, according to a professor close to the family.

His mother is in denial. She says the other kids will "catch up" in time. If he had special needs in another area, I know she'd be in there fighting to get him appropriate services and accommodations.

Please, Abby, what can we do to convince his mother that he needs more than what his inner-city schools can provide? I was one of those kids, and I know he needs contact with other kids who match his intellectual level more closely. -- CONCERNED FRIEND IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CONCERNED: The mother may be in denial, but the child's teachers and principal must surely have recognized his abilities. Enlist their help in convincing the mother to see that her son advances at a rate appropriate for his IQ.

When students are as far ahead academically as the child you describe, they can become bored and disruptive. It would be in everyone's interest to see that he is placed in classes where he can continue to excel -- regardless of whether the others catch up.

DEAR ABBY: With Halloween fast approaching, I would like to remind cat owners to keep them safely indoors on the days surrounding this holiday. Unfortunately, some people still associate cats with Halloween superstitions. Please do not assume that black cats are the only felines at risk. Any cat can be the target of a cruel Halloween prank. -- CAT LOVER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CAT LOVER: Thank you for the reminder. Please, everyone, keep yourselves and your pets safe this Halloween.

DEAR ABBY: I am 19, and because of some traumatic events in my past, I'm afraid of the dark and sleep with my baby blanket. I went to counseling about it, but eventually stopped because it didn't help. I haven't had any real problems as a result of the issue because I live at home and my boyfriend has been supportive in accommodating my needs when I stay with him. Plus, I don't need my blanket when I'm with him.

My concern is about the upcoming semester. I will have to move to the main campus of my university in order to continue my education. This means I'll be living in a shared dorm. The two times it came up during high school, I was teased mercilessly until something else came along. While I have reached the point where I can go without my blanket for a few nights, any longer and it starts to get to me.

I don't want to have problems when I move to the main campus because I'm already going to stand out for moving in the middle of the year, but I don't know how to keep training myself to give up my blanket. -- STILL SCARED IN DELAWARE

DEAR STILL SCARED: You might not have to. I have a suggestion that might be helpful, but it would require having your blanket converted into a "huggie pillow." That way you can still sleep with it but it would no longer resemble a baby blanket. Many people sleep with an extra pillow, so it wouldn't appear to be odd at all.

DEAR ABBY: My vegetarian, won't-harm-a-fly husband owns two handguns. They were bought before I met him. He knows I don't approve. I have always felt strongly about not raising children in a home where guns are kept. His argument for having them is that he distrusts our government. He claims the guns will protect our family if there is ever an uprising or a riot.

While I support his desire to protect our family, I'm frightened by the much more immediate possibility of an accident happening, or the children finding them and harming themselves or someone else.

We plan to start a family in the near future, and I have tried to talk him into either getting rid of the guns or storing them elsewhere. Every time I raise the subject, it turns into an argument and he insists he won't get rid of them. I'm at a loss about how to resolve this problem. Any advice? -- UNWILLING TO GIVE UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNWILLING: Would your vegetarian, wouldn't-harm-a-fly husband consider trigger locks for his weapons or a gun safe? If not, then perhaps you should consider raising your children with a man who isn't already married to his guns.

DEAR ABBY: What do you do if you like a teacher? Do you just hide it? He always comes to my table and I can't focus because I get so distracted. I think he's very good-looking. I'm 13 and he's 23. What should I do? -- CRUSHING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CRUSHING: What you're experiencing happens in countless classrooms and it's perfectly normal. Unless you're an accomplished actress, hiding your feelings would be like trying to smuggle dawn past a rooster. Function as best you can, and don't stare at him because it could be embarrassing for him. If you want to impress him, be his top-achieving pupil. The strong emotions you're feeling will fade once an attractive young man your age appears on the horizon. Trust me on that, because I'm speaking from experience.

DEAR ABBY: I have acquired two teenage stepsons. They are good young men, mature, responsible, active in community service and good in school and sports.

My challenge is their table manners. They were never taught any! They use their utensils like shop tools, lifting food using fork and knife together to transfer huge bites from plate to mouth. They use a bread knife to cut a pancake as if it were a tough steak. They slouch over the table to get their faces as near the plate as possible, while leaning on the table with one or both elbows. They don't know where to place cutlery when setting the table, and have their napkins in their lap only if a restaurant server discreetly places it there.

Their mother shows no concern about their uncouth manners. I'm worried that when they eventually go out into the world, they'll be perceived as having no class when they are actually nice young men. Their ignorance of table manners could cost them relationships, jobs and promotions. What to do? -- SAN ANTONIO STEPDAD

DEAR STEPDAD: Your wife may have felt she was teaching her sons more important lessons than table manners; things like character and responsibility. However, you have a point. People do make negative judgments about people who have poor table manners -- and it could be detrimental to them in the future.

That's why you should discuss this with their mother, if you haven't already, and enlist her help in talking to the boys in a nonconfrontational way and explaining your concern. In the interest of your relationship with them, this must not seem like you are critical of them, nor should it turn into an adversarial situation or it could have a negative impact on your marriage. If it is to succeed, there must be cooperation from everyone.

DEAR ABBY: I am almost 30, and when we have family get-togethers several times a year, it seems like they make a point to leave me out of pictures. My mom and sister lost quite a bit of weight recently, and my brothers and cousin are attractive people. It seems like they're trying to keep the "fat one" out of the photo, and it hurts my feelings.

Recently, a cousin came into town and made copies of two excellent pictures of my mom and sister and posted them online. Again, I was not included. What should I do? I am depressive anyway, and these obvious oversights are upsetting me. -- LEFT OUT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR LEFT OUT: Talk with your mother and sister to confirm if what you suspect is happening is true. It's possible your mother and sister are so proud of their weight loss they want to show it off. (There are ways to pose family members in photographs so their weight isn't apparent.) As to the visiting cousin, there may be such a marked change in their appearance that he/she thought it was worth posting on the Internet.

A problem with depression is that quietly brooding solves nothing, and it often causes people to overeat. Because your depression is chronic, please consider discussing it with your health care provider because interventions are available.