DEAR ABBY: I am 19, and because of some traumatic events in my past, I'm afraid of the dark and sleep with my baby blanket. I went to counseling about it, but eventually stopped because it didn't help. I haven't had any real problems as a result of the issue because I live at home and my boyfriend has been supportive in accommodating my needs when I stay with him. Plus, I don't need my blanket when I'm with him.

My concern is about the upcoming semester. I will have to move to the main campus of my university in order to continue my education. This means I'll be living in a shared dorm. The two times it came up during high school, I was teased mercilessly until something else came along. While I have reached the point where I can go without my blanket for a few nights, any longer and it starts to get to me.

I don't want to have problems when I move to the main campus because I'm already going to stand out for moving in the middle of the year, but I don't know how to keep training myself to give up my blanket. -- STILL SCARED IN DELAWARE

DEAR STILL SCARED: You might not have to. I have a suggestion that might be helpful, but it would require having your blanket converted into a "huggie pillow." That way you can still sleep with it but it would no longer resemble a baby blanket. Many people sleep with an extra pillow, so it wouldn't appear to be odd at all.

DEAR ABBY: My vegetarian, won't-harm-a-fly husband owns two handguns. They were bought before I met him. He knows I don't approve. I have always felt strongly about not raising children in a home where guns are kept. His argument for having them is that he distrusts our government. He claims the guns will protect our family if there is ever an uprising or a riot.

While I support his desire to protect our family, I'm frightened by the much more immediate possibility of an accident happening, or the children finding them and harming themselves or someone else.

We plan to start a family in the near future, and I have tried to talk him into either getting rid of the guns or storing them elsewhere. Every time I raise the subject, it turns into an argument and he insists he won't get rid of them. I'm at a loss about how to resolve this problem. Any advice? -- UNWILLING TO GIVE UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNWILLING: Would your vegetarian, wouldn't-harm-a-fly husband consider trigger locks for his weapons or a gun safe? If not, then perhaps you should consider raising your children with a man who isn't already married to his guns.

DEAR ABBY: What do you do if you like a teacher? Do you just hide it? He always comes to my table and I can't focus because I get so distracted. I think he's very good-looking. I'm 13 and he's 23. What should I do? -- CRUSHING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CRUSHING: What you're experiencing happens in countless classrooms and it's perfectly normal. Unless you're an accomplished actress, hiding your feelings would be like trying to smuggle dawn past a rooster. Function as best you can, and don't stare at him because it could be embarrassing for him. If you want to impress him, be his top-achieving pupil. The strong emotions you're feeling will fade once an attractive young man your age appears on the horizon. Trust me on that, because I'm speaking from experience.

DEAR ABBY: I have acquired two teenage stepsons. They are good young men, mature, responsible, active in community service and good in school and sports.

My challenge is their table manners. They were never taught any! They use their utensils like shop tools, lifting food using fork and knife together to transfer huge bites from plate to mouth. They use a bread knife to cut a pancake as if it were a tough steak. They slouch over the table to get their faces as near the plate as possible, while leaning on the table with one or both elbows. They don't know where to place cutlery when setting the table, and have their napkins in their lap only if a restaurant server discreetly places it there.

Their mother shows no concern about their uncouth manners. I'm worried that when they eventually go out into the world, they'll be perceived as having no class when they are actually nice young men. Their ignorance of table manners could cost them relationships, jobs and promotions. What to do? -- SAN ANTONIO STEPDAD

DEAR STEPDAD: Your wife may have felt she was teaching her sons more important lessons than table manners; things like character and responsibility. However, you have a point. People do make negative judgments about people who have poor table manners -- and it could be detrimental to them in the future.

That's why you should discuss this with their mother, if you haven't already, and enlist her help in talking to the boys in a nonconfrontational way and explaining your concern. In the interest of your relationship with them, this must not seem like you are critical of them, nor should it turn into an adversarial situation or it could have a negative impact on your marriage. If it is to succeed, there must be cooperation from everyone.

DEAR ABBY: I am almost 30, and when we have family get-togethers several times a year, it seems like they make a point to leave me out of pictures. My mom and sister lost quite a bit of weight recently, and my brothers and cousin are attractive people. It seems like they're trying to keep the "fat one" out of the photo, and it hurts my feelings.

Recently, a cousin came into town and made copies of two excellent pictures of my mom and sister and posted them online. Again, I was not included. What should I do? I am depressive anyway, and these obvious oversights are upsetting me. -- LEFT OUT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR LEFT OUT: Talk with your mother and sister to confirm if what you suspect is happening is true. It's possible your mother and sister are so proud of their weight loss they want to show it off. (There are ways to pose family members in photographs so their weight isn't apparent.) As to the visiting cousin, there may be such a marked change in their appearance that he/she thought it was worth posting on the Internet.

A problem with depression is that quietly brooding solves nothing, and it often causes people to overeat. Because your depression is chronic, please consider discussing it with your health care provider because interventions are available.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend off and on for nine years. When I moved to San Francisco, we separated for a year, until he decided he wanted to move here.

He has been miserable and depressed since he came. He misses his family and friends. His salary doesn't go as far here, so he's always short of money. He has also had a string of bad luck -- speeding tickets, car repairs, a stolen bike and a back injury. He says he'll move back east soon if things don't get better, and it's making me anxious. He does nothing to turn around his problems.

How can I help him realize it takes time for a new city to feel like home and lessen my anxiety over his problems? -- ANXIOUS IN THE BAY AREA

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your boyfriend does not appear to be anywhere near as adaptable as you are. You didn't mention how long he has been in California, but if it's longer than six months and he's still homesick, you may have a life-changing decision ahead of you. Would you rather live "in his world than live without him in" ... San Francisco? Even if your heart's in San Francisco, his does not appear to be.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of nearly a year and I recently said "I love you" for the first time. Before he said it (he said it first) he told me he doesn't want to start saying it "all the time" -- wherein lies my dilemma. How often is too often? Do I say it every night before bed or only on special occasions?

Please help because I'm confused, and I'm worrying that I'm hurting him because I haven't said it since that night four days ago. I don't want to smother him or make him feel uncomfortable. -- HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

DEAR HOW MUCH: Not everyone is comfortable with verbal declarations of love, and your boyfriend may be one of them. Love is spontaneous, it's a feeling -- not a mathematical formula. Only your boyfriend can tell you how often is too often for him.

However, if you are sharing a bed, you should be able to express yourself fully whenever you climb into it -- and his reaction should be positive (if not reciprocal) when you do.

DEAR ABBY: I am far from flat-chested (I'm a happy B-cup), but you wouldn't call me "well-endowed." My question is, why is it that friends and family members who have larger breasts constantly ask me if I would like some of theirs? I think it's rude and, quite frankly, embarrassing. I would never turn the tables and say, "I'm feeling a little skinny. Could I have some of your fat?" What do I say when asked? -- PERFECTLY FINE IN EVANSTON, WYO.

DEAR PERFECTLY FINE: A few responses come to mind; none that I'd print in a family newspaper. My advice is to keep it simple and nonconfrontational. Smile and say, "No thanks, I'm happy just the way I am!"

P.S. In my opinion, a B-cup is well-endowed.