DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman with three children ages 24, 22 and 16. I live on my own with my girls. I have been dating a man, "Reed," for three years. We are very much in love and have been working to blend our families. (He has two children.)
We have decided to move in together at the end of October. My lease will be up then, and Reed has sold his condo. We will be moving into the house he shared with the ex-wife while they were married. I'm comfortable with the move, and our kids are very excited about it.
Everything is fine except for one thing: His ex-wife has not yet found a new home to move into. With little time to go, he's now suggesting that we move in and live with his ex-wife until she finds a new place. Reed believes this will be very short-term -- a month or so.
The house is big enough for all of us, so that's not an issue. His ex-wife and I are friendly, so that's not an issue either. But I'm not comfortable with this plan.
Am I being irrational? Should I just act like a grown-up and make the move, or should I refuse? -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: You are neither immature nor irrational. You are thinking ahead -- and that is what grown-ups do. What if Reed's ex can't find a place that suits her in a month or so? What if it takes six months or even a year? While you may like the woman, do you really want to share your dwelling with the "Ghost of Marriage Past"?
If I were you, I'd talk to my landlord and ask if you can work out a month-to-month extension of your lease. If that's agreeable, Reed can move in with you for the "short term." I'm sure you'd both be happier.