DEAR ABBY: Two years ago one of my granddaughters was molested by her mother's (my daughter's) then-boyfriend, whom they were living with. When the girl's father found out, he called the police and the man was arrested, tried and convicted.

Abby, while he was out on bail, my daughter married him! She doesn't believe the molestation took place. If I were in her shoes, I would certainly believe my 8-year-old daughter over a boyfriend about something so damaging.

I cut off contact with this daughter, as did her sisters. She occasionally calls my husband (who is not her father) when she wants something, and I have received a few texts, which I ignore.

Am I doing the right thing? I sometimes feel guilty, but it angers me that she didn't stand behind her daughter and has made no effort to see either of her girls over the past two years. I see them often because their dad knows I stand with the girls 100 percent. -- GRANDMA IN OHIO

DEAR GRANDMA: The answer to your question depends upon why your daughter hasn't seen her children in two years. If it's because their father won't allow it, then her estrangement from her daughters isn't her fault. If it has been her choice, however, then stop feeling guilty.

DEAR ABBY: I need your opinion about my ex-husband and his lack of respect for boundaries. He moved out of our home two years ago, but never changed his mailing address. We have been officially divorced for six months. He feels it's OK to come to our "married house" anytime he wants. We have two teenage children who refuse to spend the night with him.

When he comes to my house, he goes through the mail, opens the cabinets and refrigerators, even goes into my room when I'm not home and watches TV. I am dating someone new and don't feel comfortable with this setup. I'm worried it will cause problems with my new friend, and I don't know how to stop this madness.

We currently have the "married house" on the market, and I want to make sure he knows he won't be welcome in my new home if not invited. How do I avoid conflict with him and my kids? -- REALLY DIVORCED IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR REALLY DIVORCED: You should have set clear boundaries the day your divorce became official, but it's still not too late to do so. Tell your ex to notify the post office -- and his creditors -- of his change of address, and that if his mail continues to show up at your house, after a month it will be returned to the post office with the notation "not at this address."

You should also inform him and your children that you do not want him in your house in your absence. If he doesn't respect your wishes, then change the locks. The time he spends with your teenage children should also be elsewhere. He may not like the fact that you are establishing your independence, but you have a right to your privacy.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Sundown starts Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. It is the beginning of our time of solemn introspection. I would like to wish you all "Leshana tova tikatevu" -- may you be inscribed in the Book of Life and enjoy another good year.

DEAR ABBY: Congratulations to "Trying to Be Nice" (June 6) for her random acts of kindness. The world needs more of it. Let me point out, however, that being nice isn't just about doing specific charitable tasks. It is something that applies every moment of every day, and as the axiom says, "Charity begins at home."

It can mean paying a compliment to a family member or friend, refraining from a hurtful comment at work or in school, smiling to a stranger on the street, willingly doing a chore at home (even if it's "not my job"), or something as simple as cleaning up one's own mess after lunch. To quote another axiom: Little things mean a lot. -- RHEAL IN OTTAWA, CANADA

DEAR RHEAL: I agree. Sometimes they can be the simplest things, opportunities we take for granted that are right in front of us. I was touched by the responses I received from readers suggesting other acts of kindness:

DEAR ABBY: Animal shelters often need volunteers to walk dogs. Rescue organizations could use foster families for pets, or even pet food donations or supplies. Veterans organizations such as the Wounded Warrior Project welcome volunteers to help with events, or mentor or assist vets in writing a resume.

If you sign up with Volunteers of America, they can match you with organizations that suit your skills -- reading to the elderly in nursing homes, etc. Youth shelters can sometimes use volunteers to help teens learn basic life skills such as balancing a checkbook, smart grocery shopping or meal planning.

Around the holidays, my husband and I visit the cemetery and clean/maintain headstones that look neglected, especially those of veterans. -- LYNN IN BOTHELL, WASH.

DEAR ABBY: As an avid teenage volunteer, I have some suggestions! Donating your hair to Locks of Love is one of my favorite acts of kindness. Your hair will help make wigs for women with cancer. Donating blood is another great way to help strangers.

If you prefer to give your time instead, nursing homes are always looking for people to play bingo with patients. Shelters for women and children need volunteers to come and play with the children, so the moms have time to talk with counselors. -- SARA IN SUGAR LAND, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: "Trying" could join a neighborhood watch or help with Meals on Wheels, take the newspaper to an elderly person's front porch, or start a recycling program in her neighborhood. -- LUCY IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR ABBY: I decided, after a self-imposed seclusion (my daughter passed away at a young age), to go back out in the world and spread the joy of flowers. I contacted a local supermarket and asked them to save me their wilting flowers that would have been thrown out. I took the best, arranged them in vases, and distributed them to local nursing homes, memory-care facilities and hospice. In this way I have brightened people's last days on Earth with something that would have otherwise been discarded.

My "mission" has expanded now and includes another store and a shelter for abused women and children. -- KATHY IN NAPLES, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: Volunteer to drive people to vote on Election Day. And the easiest -- call the aging members of your family regularly and let them talk your ear off! -- MARY IN EAST HARTFORD, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend since grade school, "Dennis," and have maintained a friendship with him throughout our lifetime. Dennis never married and lived with his parents until both died about 10 years ago. He now lives alone.

Dennis does not seem to want to take care of himself hygienically, and since we work together it is becoming a serious problem. Some of the other guys don't want to be around him. He doesn't bathe often enough or appear to brush his teeth daily.

I have tried repeatedly over the years to talk to him about his apparent lack of cleanliness, and now that he is almost 60, it is becoming unbearable. People are starting to avoid him.

Dennis is a good person and will do anything for anyone, but this lackadaisical attitude is something we can't overlook. How can I get it across to him? He just doesn't listen or take me seriously. -- IN NEED OF FRESH AIR

DEAR IN NEED: Because Dennis' poor hygiene is affecting his relationship with his co-workers, the person to address the issue is his supervisor or boss. While Dennis may ignore or dismiss your attempts to help him, when he hears from his employers that he has to clean up his act, he may pay more attention.

DEAR ABBY: For the past year I have been an old friend's lover. I'm a widow; he is married. I don't want him to leave his wife because she has been through a lot with him, including alcohol addiction. For the past few months he has given me excuses for not seeing me. We had gotten together on a weekly basis until recently.

I have all the emails and texts we have sent each other, along with pictures and a journal I have kept throughout the relationship. Should I send them to his wife? They have had a long marriage, and he has cheated on her repeatedly for the last 25 years.

I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about our affair. I just need to know if I should let his wife know what he has been doing. Yes, there is jealousy and revenge involved, and no, I haven't talked to him about what I suspect because I'm not sure how to broach the subject. -- THE OTHER WOMAN IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR OTHER WOMAN: I know you are hurting right now, but I see no reason to punish the wife for it. I'm sure after all these years there is nothing you could show-and-tell the woman that she isn't already aware of -- except that you, a friend, betrayed her. Leave her alone. If you want confirmation of your suspicions, take it up with your lover.

DEAR ABBY: I'm entering high school. The one I'm transferring to is K-12, and my younger sister already goes there. She warned me that all the girls wear skirts and wearing pants is, basically, social suicide.

The problem is, I don't like skirts. I never have. Should I go with the flow and wear something I'm not comfortable in, or should I wear pants and give up all hope of making friends? -- HUNG UP IN HOUSTON

DEAR HUNG UP: Start by wearing skirts for the first week or so and let the girls get to know you. See if what your sister said is true. After that, make up your own mind.