DEAR ABBY: I have an awful time meeting men. I'm not considered beautiful by any means, so that means meeting any good guys won't happen. I use Craigslist a lot to meet sexual partners. I am so tired of giving up my body for a few minutes of pleasure and then feeling empty on the inside. Please tell me what to do. -- WHERE ARE THE GOOD GUYS?

DEAR WHERE: I'll try, but first let me tell you where the good guys aren't. They are not on Craigslist trolling for sex partners. As my grandfather used to say, "If you're looking for trout, don't go fishing in a herring barrel."

Your problem isn't your looks; it is your extremely low level of self-esteem. It's important that you discuss this with a psychologist who can help you recognize the positive qualities you have to offer, because until you do, you will only repeat these empty, depressing encounters. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl who was raised to be polite. When I meet someone, I offer a handshake and a smile and make eye contact. However, I have found that because I'm female, adults -- especially men -- will go in for a hug even when I offer my hand to shake. This is followed by comments like, "You're too sweet to just shake hands," or, "Girls don't shake hands."

I like hugs, but they make me uncomfortable when they're from someone I don't know well, and I find the comments insulting. How do I avoid this awkward moment and respond to the comments? -- TEEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR TEEN: The next time someone lunges forward, take a step back and say, "I prefer to shake hands!" Say it with a smile and don't be confrontational, but do defend your personal space if you feel it is being invaded. It is not impolite to do so.

DEAR ABBY: I'm single, have no kids and I'm about to turn 62. I own my own home and have no debts. After years of earning a modest but steady income and watching my expenses, I have saved enough and I am eligible for good retirement benefits. So what's my problem?

Friends and family insist I'm crazy to leave a job at which I could work for another five to 10 years. I know retirement is practical for me because I have gotten professional financial planning advice. There are many things I really want to do -- classes, hobbies, volunteer work and travel before I'm too old.

My friends need to work to support their extravagant lifestyles, lavish vacations, expensive restaurants, plus their new cars, clothing and electronics. I did things my way and can afford to retire now, so why can't my friends keep their mouths shut and let me enjoy what I have worked for? -- READY TO RETIRE

DEAR READY: They may be jealous, or they may be genuinely concerned about you. Not knowing them, I can't answer for them. I can, however, suggest this: Before quitting your job and the steady, modest income it provides, talk with another financial planner and get a second opinion. You'd do that with a doctor if you had a serious question about your physical health, and I'm recommending you do it because this decision will affect your financial health for the rest of your life. If you wait a few more years, you won't be over the hill, and you will have even more money to enjoy in your retirement.

DEAR ABBY: It happened again today! I was buying several bottles of wine and a six-pack of beer along with my other groceries. While I was standing in the checkout line, someone behind me said the predictable, "I wish I was going home with you!"

I'm married to an alcoholic, and it makes me so sad that people think a lot of alcohol is "fun." It's a tragedy for our family to see a great husband, father and grandfather slip into a stupor each day. It wasn't always this way. Sadly, he has changed so much he is hardly recognizable.

I'm asking those out and about to think before you comment, because alcohol is not something to celebrate. -- WIFE OF AN ALCOHOLIC DOWN SOUTH

DEAR WIFE: Why are you buying large quantities of liquor for your alcoholic husband? When you do, you enable him to feed his addiction. If I ever heard of someone who should attend Al-Anon meetings, it is you. Al-Anon was started by the wife of an alcoholic who was just like your husband. When you go, you will meet other wives whose husbands' drinking is also out of control.

If you would prefer a secular organization, an alternative program to contact would be SMART Recovery. Its Family and Friends program was created for loved ones who are affected by someone's addiction. If there isn't a meeting in your area, you can attend one online. Go to www.smartrecovery.org and click on Online Meetings and Activities to register. Please don't wait. These organizations can help both you and your husband.

DEAR ABBY: On behalf of my fellow museum docents, I'm asking you to educate your readers about how to behave when they visit our nation's historic buildings. The most important rule is: Do Not Touch Anything!

This includes the walls and woodwork. Even the cleanest hands have skin oils that can damage a finish. Next, do not lean against the walls or doorways because this, too, may damage original paint, wood finishes or carved details.

If ropes are blocking access to part of the room, do not go beyond them. The dirt on your shoes can damage carpets. If a door is closed or only half open, do not move it.

As a courtesy to your guide and other visitors, cellphones should be turned off. The docent has important information to share with you. If we do not have an immediate answer to a question, we will seek it from another guide or staff member.

Guides and docents enjoy sharing our knowledge with guests. So please visit, but while you're with us, follow our guidelines and help us preserve and protect these glimpses into the past. -- DOCENT IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR DOCENT: Your letter deserves space in my column because people sometimes forget when touring historic buildings that they are not in their own homes, but in fact are in museums. May I add one more tip to your list: It is always a good idea to ask permission before using a camera with a flashbulb.

Docents are individuals who study their subjects intensively, and then function as unpaid teachers who transmit their knowledge to visitors in institutions such as museums, art galleries and zoos. They perform an important service and should be treated with respect for the time and effort they put forth to prepare themselves for it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband retired and we thought we were fulfilling our lifetime dream when we moved to the beach, but our dream has turned into a nightmare. Our family never wanted to visit us this often before.

When they come, no one even brings along so much as a bottle of water. My grocery bill has skyrocketed, and I'm sick of playing the role of cook and maid while they have a wonderful time.

I'm ready to move back to our hometown. At least there I had a life besides cooking and cleaning. My husband wants to live here because it's his dream, but I can't take another year of this. The workload is killing me.

I have been a fool for putting up with everyone having a carefree vacation at my expense. I'm so angry I'm ready to leave my husband with his dream. The last three years have been hell. When friends and family ask why I left, should I tell them, or keep my mouth shut and build a peaceful life by myself? -- RUNNING FOR MY LIFE

DEAR RUNNING: Leaving your husband is not the solution. Telling the individuals who are taking advantage of your hospitality that the rules have changed is. Set rules before guests arrive. If it's not convenient for you to entertain, speak up and say so when the relatives call to say they're coming. Make it clear that they will be doing their own laundry, buying their own groceries, etc.

And while you're at it, understand that the reason this has gotten out of hand is partly your husband's fault. He's retired; he can lend a hand.

The Good Lord gave you the gift of speech. For the sake of your sanity and your marriage, I'm suggesting you use it.

DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago, I was in a relationship with a man I thought was my soul mate. (I'll call him Louis.) We were together for two years and had planned on getting married right after college. Louis ended up breaking the engagement and six months later married another woman. I was shocked and heartbroken. We went our separate ways.

Louis contacted me recently. He apologized for the past and said he was out of his mind for losing me. He also said he was recently divorced and wants to see me to "catch up."

I have healed from the heartache and moved on, but I am not currently in a relationship. I am content with my life. The problem is, my curiosity and my heart are tripping me up. I'm wary of falling back in love with Louis and don't want to reopen any old wounds.

What do you think, Abby? Should I meet him and see what happens, or let the past stay where it is? -- OVER HIM? IN NEW YORK

DEAR OVER HIM?: Louis may be a cad -- or he may have become more mature in the last seven years. Because you are curious, I think you should go. But if he starts wooing you again, do not get serious unless you have had couples counseling. It's important that you clearly understand what went wrong in your romance the first time so it doesn't happen again.