DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and for as long as I can remember, my family has never really been "together." We exist with each other physically, but have never connected in a loving way. I can't remember my father ever smiling at my mom or being happy. There seems to be an undercurrent of hostility or resentment in our relationships with each other. The lack of love in our house is palpable.

I wonder sometimes what it's like to eat dinner together at night, and what it's like to see parents kiss because they love each other -- not a stressed, distant, obligated contact.

I finally asked my mother, "Why don't you ever hug me?" Her answer was, "Because I can't remember the last time you tried to hug me."

I'm crying as I write this. Why doesn't my mother understand that kindness is necessary and should not be conditional? -- TROUBLED GIRL IN FLORIDA

DEAR TROUBLED GIRL: Your mother may have been raised in a loveless home and not know how to easily demonstrate affection. Or her marriage to your father could be so unhappy that she has shut down.

You are a perceptive girl, and it is understandable that you are "troubled." But the only person who can answer the question you have asked me is your mother, who appears to need to receive kindness and affection before she will be able to give it. Make an effort to hug her more and the situation may improve. How very sad.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 33-year-old man who has screwed up his marriage. I stupidly had a fling with my wife's 16-year-old cousin and got in trouble for it. I never lied about it because I knew it was wrong, and I am deeply sorry for it. It happened more than a year ago. I ended up serving time in jail.

I love my wife. She is my best friend. We have no kids, just some great dogs and horses. We were very close until I went to jail, and the last day I was in there I got served with divorce papers.

I can't blame her for how she feels. She says she loves me but she's too hurt to continue. I love her and I'm devastated that I can't fix this.

I have known her for 20 years and she means so much to me. I want to save our marriage, and for the last year I have expressed repeatedly how sorry I am. Any advice? -- SORRY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SORRY: Tell your wife (if the divorce isn't final) that you are willing to do anything to save your marriage, and ask her if she would be willing to go to couple's counseling with you.

Under the circumstances, her feelings are entirely understandable. If there is any love for you left in her heart, counseling may help to get your relationship back on track. However, if she refuses, you will have to accept her decision and go on with your life, having learned a very expensive lesson.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old gay male who is interested in doing drag. Due to being unable to find work, I am hoping I can turn performing in drag into a source of income. I am not afraid to perform in front of crowds of people, so this could be a good idea. Do you think it is? -- POTENTIAL SUPERSTAR IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR POTENTIAL SUPERSTAR: It's not a bad idea. Your next step is to audition to see if you have the ability and the looks to succeed.

While drag is a narrow niche of show business, some performers have had successful careers in that area -- and you might, too. You'll never know if you don't give it a try. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are the proud parents of beautiful 4-year-old twins. After years of infertility, we found out that my husband has a low sperm count. Additionally, I have very few eggs. Ultimately, we conceived our miracles with IVF and the help of a sperm donor.

We do not want to keep this a secret from our children. We want them to eventually know, understand and be proud of the journey it took to bring them into this world. However, my husband and I are very private people. We understand that once the dialogue with our children begins, others will naturally find out.

My husband still feels very uncomfortable discussing his condition. How do we explain to our children, friends and family without becoming the focus of gossip and whispers? -- PROUD PARENTS

DEAR PROUD PARENTS: Infertility among couples is no longer a deep, dark or shameful secret, and the fact that you needed help to have your children shouldn't generate gossip or whispers because, frankly, it isn't shocking or titillating anymore.

When your children are old enough to be told the facts of life, they can be told that they were conceived through in vitro fertilization. They do not have to be told every detail all at once. When they are older, they may ask questions about why it was necessary -- and when they do, their questions should be answered honestly and in an age-appropriate manner.

DEAR ABBY: Last year I started dating the man I thought I would someday marry. We connected instantly and had a deep love for each other. We argued during most of our relationship, but strangely, never stopped feeling the way we did at the start. Our connection was undeniable and our love endless.

One night we got into a heated argument over "inappropriate" emails between him and an ex. The argument escalated and I was arrested. Worse than being in trouble with the law for the first time in my life was losing my other half.

Most people would say, "Walk away; you never belonged together." But I don't agree. I have never been in a relationship that had such highs and lows. I miss him and miss sharing my life with him. -- CONFUSED AND HEARTBROKEN

DEAR CONFUSED AND HEARTBROKEN: Whether you agree with "most people" or not, the most important person -- the man you were involved with -- no longer wants to be involved with you. As much as you cared for him, if he was sending "inappropriate" emails to an ex, it appears he was not equally devoted to you. The coup de grace was when you became so violent you were jailed.

You may miss what you thought you had with him, but what you need now is a therapist who can help you understand what a healthy relationship is all about, because this wasn't one. It's time to accept that this drama is over, because unless you do, you could be labeled a stalker and find yourself in even more trouble.

DEAR ABBY: I met this guy recently and I guess he's good-looking enough, but the thing is I really like his teeth. Like really, really like them for some reason. They're just so perfect, and I like the shape and everything.

The thing is, I've never actually paid that much attention to anyone else's teeth, just his. So does this count as a fetish or not? -- AM I WEIRD?

DEAR AM I: No. If the only thing that attracted you about every man you met was his teeth, you might have a tooth fetish. But because it's only this one set of choppers that turn you on, I wouldn't call that a fetish.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 14 years. During that time her mother has called every single day.

Initially, I was OK with it because we were living in Florida and she was in Iowa. However, since we moved back to Iowa to be near her (we live three miles apart), she continues to call nightly. Sometimes she'll call during dinner or during our "couple's time" after the kids are asleep. I have expressed my dissatisfaction with this, particularly because my wife and MIL see each other and talk throughout the day.

Am I out of line to ask for family/couple time during which no outside calls come in, or am I being unreasonable? This is a touchy subject, and I don't know how to resolve it to everyone's satisfaction. -- BOTHERED IN THE HAWKEYE STATE

DEAR BOTHERED: With whom is this a touchy subject? Your wife? Her mother? The two of them? Considering that your mother-in-law lives close by and that she and your wife talk during the day, they appear to be excessively dependent upon each other.

As a partner in your marriage, you have the right to a quiet family dinner and private time with your spouse. If your wife can't bring herself to get that message across to her mother, then you should set a time after which "Mama" should refrain from calling unless it's an emergency.

DEAR ABBY: After years of traveling overseas, I have finally found a wonderful way of getting rid of unwanted foreign coins the banks won't exchange. Please let your readers know they can put their leftover coins to good use by mailing them to UNICEF'S Change for Good program. -- PAT IN COLORADO

DEAR PAT: I'm glad you wrote because so many people travel outside the country during the summer months.

Readers, when travelers return from an international vacation, many are shocked to find that banks change only foreign paper currency back into U.S. money, so they are left with pockets full of coins that can't be spent. UNICEF'S Change for Good program (which is supported by some airlines) collects donated coins and uses the money to support disaster relief programs worldwide, as well as programs benefiting children in areas that include education, water and sanitation, HIV/AIDS and child protection.

Those interested in participating in this worthwhile effort should send their coins to: U.S. Fund for UNICEF, ATTN: Change for Good Program, 125 Maiden Lane, New York, N.Y. 10038.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I disagree about privacy. He believes he should have the password to my email and Facebook accounts. I have nothing to hide, but I think I'm entitled to my privacy. Can you settle this for us? -- PRIVATE IN BATTLE CREEK

DEAR PRIVATE: Probably not. Everyone is entitled to privacy, and being private doesn't necessarily mean you have something to hide. Your husband may want to look at your postings because he doesn't completely trust you. Or he may have no interests of his own. No third party can settle this tug-of-war with so little information about what else may be going on in your relationship.

TO MY READERS: Happy Fourth of July, everyone!