DEAR ABBY: My husband and I invite our friends for dinner quite often, and invitations are always accepted. Recently, I began to notice that we are never invited to some of their homes for dinner.

I know entertaining isn't for everyone, but they do entertain other people -- just not us. I'm not sure why this is. We would never go empty-handed. If we weren't asked to bring a dessert or an appetizer, we would at least bring a bottle of wine to thank our hosts, and I'd help to clear the dishes and straighten the kitchen when the meal is over.

Have you any thoughts as to why an invitation is never extended to us? -- NOT ON THE "A" LIST

DEAR NOT: The problem may be that the couple is embarrassed that they can't entertain you as lavishly as you have entertained them. Or, they may have never been taught that it is rude to accept people's hospitality and not reciprocate in some way. Because they are friends, you should pose this question to them and ask for an honest answer.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 19 years and this is the third time I have caught my wife cheating. I didn't catch her "in the act" because she disguised it behind "vacations with her girlfriends." What happened was I caught her sending some guy nude pictures of herself and lying about having stayed at a friend's house. (She had spent the night with a guy.)

I have remained in this marriage because I wanted to raise all my kids before separating or divorcing. I am leaving eventually, but want to stay four more years to raise my last son.

Is it immoral to lie and pretend like I want to work it out? I feel this is the best way not to damage my children. -- RESPONSIBLE DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR DAD: I don't think you should lie. Instead, talk calmly with your wife and tell her that it's clear to you that she isn't satisfied in the marriage or she wouldn't be doing what she has been doing. You might be able to accomplish what you want with your son through a joint custody arrangement -- or full custody, if your wife wishes. That way, she could live her life as she apparently wants to, and so can you.

DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbor lets her two children, a 6-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl, run around naked all the time. This includes playing in her front yard and in the street.

I don't want to seem like a prude or cause problems in the neighborhood, but let's face it -- there are perverts everywhere. At what age is it no longer acceptable for children to be nude in public? -- TAKEN ABACK IN MONTANA

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Children over the age of 3 should not be out in public with no clothes -- and no child should be playing outside that way without supervision. For that matter, clothed or not, for their own safety children should not play in the street.

Your neighbor's lack of attention is irresponsible and inappropriate. If you can't make her see the light, then child protective services should be consulted.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 60s. When I mentioned to a retired friend my desire to move to a Southern state known for economic friendliness toward retirees, I discovered she was thinking the same thing.

We decided it would be good to buy a house together as tenants in common with rights of survivorship, and to share living expenses. Because I have no family and my friend has very little, neither of us cares what the survivor does with the house.

Our main concern is whether or not we're too old to make new friends and start a new life. It sounds exciting, but I'm wondering whether you or your readers have had any experience moving 1,000 miles away at this stage of life. -- CONTEMPLATING CHANGE IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR CONTEMPLATING CHANGE: Change can be an exciting and stimulating experience, and many retirees have successfully relocated.

However, and I cannot stress this too strongly, before heading off for the great unknown, you and your friend should consider renting a place for a year. It will give you a chance to gauge your compatibility and learn about the community before locking yourselves in with a mortgage. And if you haven't already, each of you should review your plans with an attorney of your own.

DEAR ABBY: Is it proper for my husband and I to share a meal when dining out with friends? Restaurant portions are quite large and we eat out most nights.

We find sharing is better not only for our health but also for our waistlines. We usually order an appetizer, a salad, an entree, dessert, coffee and a nice bottle of wine. My husband tips 20 percent of the total of the check.

I don't want to offend my friends and I'd like your guidance in this matter. Thank you. -- CAREFUL EATER IN CARMEL, IND.

DEAR CAREFUL EATER: There is nothing rude about suggesting to your dinner companions that you ask the server for separate checks for the reason you stated. And congratulations on managing your portion control, which many health- and diet-conscious people are doing these days. Bon appetit!

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single, successful professional woman who carries her weight in one place -- my belly. Despite many diets and exercise programs, I am unable to lose my belly. Because of this, I'm often mistaken for being pregnant.

Strangers in shopping malls, at professional seminars and in hotels while traveling will ask me when I am due. My usual response is, "I'm not pregnant. I'm just chubby and need to hit the gym." (The other evening, though, I responded, "Not soon enough!")

The last straw was at a recent book signing where the author wrote, "Enjoy your growing life." Any thoughts? -- NOT A BABY BUMP IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR NOT A BABY BUMP: I do have a few. Have you considered wearing a foundation garment? If you already wear one, then I have more suggestions. First, discuss this with your doctor, a nutritionist and a personal trainer. And if they can't help you, talk to a board-certified plastic surgeon about liposuction.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old high school graduate working full-time as a general manager for a furniture corporation. I live at home with my parents, but I feel like I am ready financially and emotionally to move out into my own place. I'm afraid to tell my parents because we are so close.

My father has always said he won't let me move out unless he approves of the place, and he talks about random checkups of my apartment. If I move out, aren't I entitled to privacy in my own place? I shouldn't have to get my parents' approval or have them checking up on me any time they want. How do I approach them about this without it becoming a screaming match, or ruining the relationship with them? -- UNSETTLED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UNSETTLED: At 19, you are a young adult and no longer a child. You hold a responsible job and, I assume, have enough savings that you can afford what you are contemplating.

That your father wants to protect you is understandable because you are his child. Approach the subject by telling your parents you are "considering" moving out on your own, and would like your father to help you select a place that is safe. Do not be confrontational. If he refuses, you can still go looking on your own.

Once you are in and settled, you can then address the subject of "surprise" visits. Your father is not your parole officer, and it is respectful to call before dropping by.

DEAR ABBY: When did men decide it was "stylish" to wear a two-day growth of beard? I can understand men not shaving on their day off, but to go unshaven and wearing a tux just looks wrong. It is twice as wrong if they have gray in their beard.

Please tell the men of America to shave! -- STYLE POLICEWOMAN IN OHIO

DEAR STYLE POLICEWOMAN: As I recall, men started going less clean-shaven after the TV series "Miami Vice" became a hit. Five o'clock shadows became the rage, as did going sockless in loafers and wearing a lot of pastels.

On the right person, the look can be sexy -- as was demonstrated by hunk-a-licious actors Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, and British singer George Michael. However, I agree that when a man's beard starts turning gray, a clean shave is a better look because after a "certain age" the stubble begins to resemble that of an old derelict rather than a Hollywood sex symbol.

DEAR ABBY: I am the human resources director for a nonprofit organization. I hope you will help me send a message out to anyone searching for a job. Ninety-five percent of all the candidates I interview know little to nothing about the organization for which they are interviewing.

Please let job seekers know that most organizations are less likely to hire an applicant who has done no research on the company he or she is interviewing with. I wouldn't! -- SHAKING MY HEAD IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SHAKING YOUR HEAD: That's good advice. Not only should the applicant know something about the organization or company, the job seeker should be prepared to tell the interviewer why he or she is eager for the job, and how hiring him or her will enhance the business.