DEAR ABBY: I'm a 19-year-old high school graduate working full-time as a general manager for a furniture corporation. I live at home with my parents, but I feel like I am ready financially and emotionally to move out into my own place. I'm afraid to tell my parents because we are so close.

My father has always said he won't let me move out unless he approves of the place, and he talks about random checkups of my apartment. If I move out, aren't I entitled to privacy in my own place? I shouldn't have to get my parents' approval or have them checking up on me any time they want. How do I approach them about this without it becoming a screaming match, or ruining the relationship with them? -- UNSETTLED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UNSETTLED: At 19, you are a young adult and no longer a child. You hold a responsible job and, I assume, have enough savings that you can afford what you are contemplating.

That your father wants to protect you is understandable because you are his child. Approach the subject by telling your parents you are "considering" moving out on your own, and would like your father to help you select a place that is safe. Do not be confrontational. If he refuses, you can still go looking on your own.

Once you are in and settled, you can then address the subject of "surprise" visits. Your father is not your parole officer, and it is respectful to call before dropping by.

DEAR ABBY: When did men decide it was "stylish" to wear a two-day growth of beard? I can understand men not shaving on their day off, but to go unshaven and wearing a tux just looks wrong. It is twice as wrong if they have gray in their beard.

Please tell the men of America to shave! -- STYLE POLICEWOMAN IN OHIO

DEAR STYLE POLICEWOMAN: As I recall, men started going less clean-shaven after the TV series "Miami Vice" became a hit. Five o'clock shadows became the rage, as did going sockless in loafers and wearing a lot of pastels.

On the right person, the look can be sexy -- as was demonstrated by hunk-a-licious actors Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, and British singer George Michael. However, I agree that when a man's beard starts turning gray, a clean shave is a better look because after a "certain age" the stubble begins to resemble that of an old derelict rather than a Hollywood sex symbol.

DEAR ABBY: I am the human resources director for a nonprofit organization. I hope you will help me send a message out to anyone searching for a job. Ninety-five percent of all the candidates I interview know little to nothing about the organization for which they are interviewing.

Please let job seekers know that most organizations are less likely to hire an applicant who has done no research on the company he or she is interviewing with. I wouldn't! -- SHAKING MY HEAD IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SHAKING YOUR HEAD: That's good advice. Not only should the applicant know something about the organization or company, the job seeker should be prepared to tell the interviewer why he or she is eager for the job, and how hiring him or her will enhance the business.

DEAR ABBY: I was taken away from my parents at 13 and placed into foster care, where I stayed until I aged out at 21. My biological mother is a drug addict who abandoned me to my father when I was 11. She never tried to contact me while I was in care.

I am now 24 and she won't leave me alone. She sends Facebook messages that alternate between begging me to let her get to know me, and condemning me for being vindictive and not having forgiveness in my heart. Abby, this woman exposed me to drugs and all manner of seedy people and situations. I was molested and beaten by some of the men she picked up to pay the bills.

Am I a horrible person for ignoring her? I'm close to losing my temper and letting her know exactly how angry I am, but I know it would do no good. I just want to move on with my life and advance in my profession without having to worry about this. What do you think? -- STALKED IN NEW YORK

DEAR STALKED: Silence sends a strong message. I think that when the harassment started, you should have immediately blocked this woman on Facebook. It's not too late to do that now. If she continues to annoy you, consider getting a restraining order.

Because you are on a path to success, allow nothing to divert you.

DEAR ABBY: On March 14 you printed a question from "Jim in New Jersey" who asked if brand-new clothing should be washed before wearing. Having worked in a shirt factory for years, let me tell you how many hands handle the shirt before it goes into that neat little bag.

1. Someone spreads the fabric and lays the pattern.

2. The cutter cuts it.

3. Someone else ties the different parts together.

4. Another person takes the parts to the sewing people.

5. One sewer attaches the pocket to the front.

6. Another sews the yoke to the back.

7. Another sews that back to the front.

8. Another sews in the sleeves.

9. Another sews the side seams.

10. Still another hems the bottom.

11. Another adds the collar.

12. Another sews on the cuffs (if long-sleeved).

13. Someone else sews on the buttons.

14. Another reinforces the buttonholes.

15. An inspector examines the garment for loose threads.

16. An auditor gives it a final check.

17. And finally, someone folds the shirt and puts it into that nice, clean-looking bag.

Don't even ask how many times it may have fallen on the floor -- or if we washed our hands. Abby, I never wear anything until I wash it! -- JOANN IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR JOANN: And neither will I. Thank you!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 59 years old and still take my baseball mitt with me when I go to games in hopes of catching a ball. At what age should a guy stop doing it? (We usually sit in the lower level near the front.) -- MINNESOTA TWINS FAN

DEAR TWINS FAN: Stop taking it when you have grown so aged and feeble that when the ball comes your way, you can no longer fend off the younger fans who are also diving for it. And not one moment sooner.

DEAR ABBY: The letter you printed from "Gun-Shy in South Carolina" (March 5), about the antics of her gun-toting, alcoholic father-in-law, caught my attention. I'm a former mental health clinician and program inspector. I discussed that letter with a friend who is a psychiatrist.

"Grandpa" has probably already violated a municipal ordinance regarding discharging a firearm in corporate limits. I agree with you that he has endangered his grandchildren. My friend advised that, according to the local interpretation of mental health statutes, Grandpa might be eligible for involuntary commitment and evaluation in a psychiatric facility. He could be disarmed by the police, if necessary.

"Gun-Shy" should heed her motherly instincts, stay home and refuse to visit Grandpa until he enters treatment. Otherwise there's a high probability that she will mourn the loss of one or more dead children.

Grandpa seems to think that booze and guns make him brave. A brave person is a military medic, a member of the U.S. Coast Guard and the thousands of first responders who demonstrate their bravery by saving human lives, not threatening them. In fact, many Medal of Honor recipients earn the award not by the number of enemies killed, but lives saved. -- RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR RESPONSIBLE: I agree. Some readers felt I should have been tougher in my response, and that Gun-Shy and her children should not visit Grandpa at all. Failure to act on her fears is called child endangerment and could result in the children being taken away. Readers let me have it with both barrels:

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Gun-Shy" was off the mark! As a vet and former law enforcement officer, I think the whole family is in "wimp" mode. For adults to watch a drunk adult fire a gun in the air around his family and not call 911 was ignorant and dangerous. All states have laws about firing guns in the air (illegal), firing guns while drunk (illegal), unsecured loaded weapons (illegal), and firing guns around children in a home environment (illegal). That jerk should have been arrested! -- SMOKEY IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for reminding your readers that when someone shoots a gun into the air, the bullet comes down somewhere. A child near my hometown died last New Year's Eve when she stepped outside with her grandmother to watch the fireworks and a bullet fell to earth and lodged in her brain. The police believe the gun may have been fired from a few miles away. -- CHRISTINA IN MARYLAND

DEAR ABBY: Why didn't you suggest a family intervention for the grandfather's alcoholism? The family could be helped by going to Al-Anon to learn how to detach with love from his disease. Alcoholics need to understand how their drinking affects them and others. Possible estrangement from his grandchildren might be a way to break through his denial. -- STEVE C. IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ABBY: My friend Michelle died last July Fourth. She was killed because someone fired a gun into the air. She was beautiful, talented and left behind a fiance, a mother, a sister and many friends. She was receiving her Ph.D., was a brilliant researcher for the CDC and had just picked up her wedding gown. She was the victim of a senseless act caused by someone's carelessness. -- MARSHA IN MICHIGAN