DEAR ABBY: Thank you for all you do to keep our seniors safe. Saturday, June 15, is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. On that day, communities in the USA and all over the world will sponsor events to highlight the growing tragic issue of elder abuse.

Your readers -- young and old -- should know that the U.S. Administration on Aging estimates that as many as 5 million seniors are abused or neglected each year in the United States.

Elder abuse can be physical, emotional, financial and sexual. It also includes people who are neglected. Elders who are abused are twice as likely to be hospitalized, four times as likely to go into nursing homes and three times as likely to die.

Elder abuse can be prevented if everyone would learn the warning signs and report it to Adult Protective Services or the police if they suspect it is happening. -- MARY TWOMEY, MSW, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA-IRVINE

DEAR READERS: I was dismayed to learn that 90 percent of elder abuse happens at the hands of a family member or a caregiver. The descriptions of the kinds of treatment these elderly adults experience are frightening, and frankly, not suitable for readers of all ages. That is why I am urging readers to get more information on this important subject by visiting www.ncea.aoa.gov.

We can all stop this scourge if we know what to look for and are willing to speak up when we see the warning signs. There, but for the grace of God, go you and I.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to a wonderful man, "Ted," who was 20 years my senior. In social situations his adult children would introduce me as "Dad's wife" or "Ted's wife." Sadly, my husband passed away, and his children no longer know how to refer to me socially.

I was recently asked by Ted's children how I wished to be introduced, but I'm not sure. I don't think "stepmother" is appropriate because I'm only four to seven years older than they are. Do you have any ideas as to what might be appropriate? -- "MARILYN" IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR "MARILYN": You could be introduced as "Dad's widow," "my late father's wife" or simply by your name.

DEAR ABBY: Some friends are in the process of adopting two children internationally. Early on, they had a garage sale with the proceeds going toward the adoption. I was excited for them and wanted to help. However, this was soon followed by more requests -- for yard sale donations, two more garage sales, the "opportunity" to buy expensive coffee online, a fundraising dinner, and then a solicitation for me and others to provide a "virtual shower" of plane ticket money.

Each time I am notified about another fundraiser, I feel less and less charitable. I have never been asked for money for the same thing in so many different ways in such a short time. While I'm thrilled with their desire to adopt, I am increasingly disgusted and put off by their continued pleas for money. Am I wrong to be so upset about this? -- A LITTLE TICKED OFF

DEAR TICKED OFF: It appears your "friends" are taking advantage of your generosity. It will continue for only as long as you permit it. Because the requests for help are continuous, are you absolutely sure this couple is really in the middle of the adoption process and not using the money for some other purpose? Before donating anything else, you should find out.

DEAR ABBY: My partner of 12 years and I are well-educated, successful career men. Every few months my mom comes to visit, and we all enjoy spending time together.

The last few visits were not so great. We caught Mom snooping in our bedroom and our home office. When we confronted her, she got upset and stormed out of the room in tears. I have asked her to respect our privacy, but her response is that she -- as the mother -- is the one who deserves respect.

We recently had some renovations done to the house that included locks on our bedroom and office doors. When neither of us are home, the doors stay locked. Nothing was said about it during Mom's last visit, but last week we received a note from her telling us not to come for our usual summer visit. I tried to call her, but she won't answer.

Today I talked with my aunt (Mom's sister), who told me Mom is furious over the locks. My aunt also expressed disappointment in me for "shutting Mom out." I don't understand how I could be in the wrong, but it seems my whole family feels I am. Please advise. -- IN A JAM IN ST. PETE

DEAR IN A JAM: Although your mother deserves respect, it is hard to respect someone who goes through one's bedroom and office after having been asked not to. You may be her son, but you are also an adult and have the right to some privacy. What Mom is doing is the equivalent of throwing a tantrum. You were not shutting her out; you were drawing the line. Regardless of what your aunt said, you owe no one an apology.

Let's hope this storm blows over soon. And as to your summer holiday plans, an Alaskan cruise might be a lovely change from the humidity of Florida and the steam coming from wherever your mother lives.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother was very poor, but she was generous with what she had. As a child, I noticed that most of the gifts she received were regifted to others. At first, it upset me because I spent a lot of time choosing a "perfect" gift for her. Then I realized she was enjoying the gift twice. She loved receiving it, but it gave her even more pleasure to pass it on to someone else to enjoy when she couldn't afford to buy a present on her limited income.

I get so tired of people whining about "regifting." Instead of being happy that someone gave them something, people worry about how much was spent. (I'm willing to bet the real reason for the upset is that the regift can't be returned or exchanged.) People who don't want to receive regifts should let the givers know so they won't waste their generosity on them in the future. -- THE JOY OF GIVING

DEAR JOY: I see the issue differently, because I suspect that some complainers may have confused the monetary value of the item with how much they -- the recipients -- are valued in the relationship. As you point out -- and I agree -- it really is the spirit in which a gift is given that counts.

DEAR ABBY: I have read your column for as long as I can remember. My husband died from a drug overdose, and I am a widow at 32. He was a good man before the drugs, but he wouldn't stop and I was helpless to intervene. I am now raising our two sons alone.

My problem is my brother is headed down the same road, and I don't know how to help him. I don't have the money to send him to rehab, and he doesn't think he has a problem. He has lost his job, has no vehicle and is losing what friends he has left.

I don't want to turn my back on him or lose him the way I lost my husband. I know he needs rehab or therapy, but with the lack of funds I don't know where to turn. Furthermore, how do I explain this to my 9- and 10-year-old sons? The most influential man in their life is setting a terrible example. -- CAN'T TURN AWAY FROM MY BROTHER

DEAR CAN'T TURN AWAY: If seeing your husband die from an overdose wasn't enough to convince your brother it was time to get into a substance abuse program, then nothing you can do will. There are two things that are more important in your life than he is, and those are your two sons. A narcotics addict destroying his life is a very poor role model.

Your boys are old enough to know how dangerous drugs are and that they caused the premature death of their father. Do not permit them to be in the presence of anyone who is abusing drugs and spiraling downward, or they will grow into adolescence thinking it is normal. Your brother is the only person who can help himself get back on his feet, no matter how much you might wish it were otherwise.

DEAR ABBY: I don't understand divorced women and the restrictions they put on their exes about what they can and can't do with their children. ("You can't let him go to the pool party; he might drown"; "She can't visit with your mother; she has a cat"; "Don't make him rake leaves; that's your job!") Instead, they should be grateful these fathers are active parts of their children's lives. Too many fathers simply walk away. Unless the dad is actively harming the child, they have no right to dictate what their ex does with his kids on his time.

Remember, ladies, you made a baby with him. He is their dad and he has every right to parent as he sees fit, even if it differs from your own philosophy. And dads, don't let your ex try to tell you that you are a bad parent because you let your kid go roller skating and she broke her arm. It is not your fault. Things like that happen all the time, even to kids whose parents are still together. So stand up for your right to be a real dad! -- UNSYMPATHETIC MOM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOM: If I were you, I'd keep my head down and not get caught in the crossfire. It's not that you lack sympathy, but you obviously don't relate to the women you hear complain. While some of them may seem controlling or hyper-protective, others may have valid concerns about their children's safety while they're with Dad.