DEAR ABBY: I host all of the holiday parties and dinner parties for my family. Whenever I have my parents over, my father insists on helping himself to the top layer of every casserole. He'll scrape all the cheese off the potatoes, the crunchy onion topping off the green bean casserole, etc., leaving just the bare vegetables for everyone else.

I have asked Dad not to do it because it is inconsiderate of the other guests. I can see people are bothered by it, so now they make a beeline to the buffet so they can beat him to it.

Dad got offended when I talked to him about it, but he continues to do it. Mom refuses to get involved, and I have said all I can say. What to do? -- BURNED UP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR BURNED UP: A guest who grabs all the goodies at a dinner party is a hog. Because your father refuses to change his behavior, I will offer a few suggestions: The first is to alter your menu to avoid serving casserole dishes. If that's not possible, make your father his own separate casserole with his name on it, so he can have it all to himself. Or plate the food in the kitchen and stop serving it buffet-style.

DEAR ABBY: Over the past few years, as social media has become more popular, I have noticed a trend among many people. They now favor that form of communication over personal human interaction. This is especially true of my girlfriend of five years.

We have the normal relationship problems I feel could be addressed, but from the moment she gets home from work she's in front of the computer playing Facebook games, posting status updates or messaging "friends." She sits there for hours, lost in her virtual world. We rarely talk anymore, and when we do it turns into an argument because I'm trying to discuss what I see as a serious problem.

The Internet and social media are great tools for bringing worlds together, if they are not abused. But for many people, I think, social media is doing more harm than good. It has depersonalized human contact and has the potential to destroy relationships and isolate individuals.

I'm interested in your opinion and any advice you can give me on helping my girlfriend understand my concerns. -- ALONE IN THE REAL WORLD

DEAR ALONE: People cannot be two places at once. When relationships aren't nurtured, they wither. If this has been going on for an extended period, then it's time you give your girlfriend a wake-up call: You feel abandoned. By spending more time in the virtual world than in the real one, she is neglecting her relationship with you.

Ask her if she would be willing to work on a compromise so that she spends time with you. If she can't do that, and the Internet is giving her everything she needs, then you should find a lady who is willing to give you more of what you need, which is undivided attention.

DEAR ABBY: If a person compliments me on my hair, am I obliged to reveal that it isn't my natural color? I am a henna redhead, and it looks very natural, but my friend who is a natural redhead says I have to fess up. She will even tell people "for me" that my color is "fake." What should I do? -- HENNA REDHEAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR HENNA REDHEAD: Start spending more time with blondes and brunettes than with a redhead who doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. She is jealous of the attention you're getting.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Ned," for almost two years. I'm 19 and we have lived together since we started dating. I love Ned, but I feel like we moved too fast into our relationship and now he's trying to keep it moving as quickly as possible. I'm afraid he's going to propose soon.

He brings the subject up a lot, and I never have much to say because I'm afraid of hurting his feelings. What should I say if he pops the question? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment, but I don't want him to be angry with me if I say no. -- TORN IN OHIO

DEAR TORN: Honesty is the best policy. Not wanting to upset someone would be a very poor reason for getting married. If Ned pops the question, it is perfectly all right to tell him exactly what you have shared with me -- that you are not ready for that kind of commitment because you are only 19. It's the truth.

If Ned becomes angry, do not allow him to stampede you into saying yes. That kind of reaction could be a warning sign of someone who is a potential abuser.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and haven't had a girlfriend yet, but I'm curious about something. When I do have one, will it mean I can't love other girls?

Lots of girls tell me I'm nice, friendly and helpful. I love them. When I have a girlfriend or get married, I won't be able to stop loving others. Is this wrong, Abby? -- CARLOS IN DONNA, TEXAS

DEAR CARLOS: There are varying degrees of love. There is nothing wrong with loving women, as long as you don't love them all at the same time. If you do, it may upset your girlfriend or wife.

When you are ready for a permanent relationship, the feelings you will have for the woman you're involved with will be stronger than those you are feeling now. However, if that doesn't happen, consider it an indication that you either aren't ready to settle down or you were meant to be a bachelor.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Hates the Crunching in New Mexico" (April 21), the wife who was annoyed about her husband's chewing ice during breakfast and dinner. There is a possibility that he many have pagophagia (craving and chewing ice), which is often associated with iron deficiency anemia. It could also indicate other nutritional problems that can be manifested by various "picas" (craving substances that have no nutritional value, such as dirt).

"Hates the Crunching" should encourage her husband to schedule an appointment with his physician ASAP for a simple blood test, which can show whether or not he has anemia. -- HOLLY PHELPS, BELLFLOWER, CALIF.

DEAR HOLLY: Thank you for your letter. Some readers felt the ice crunching was just a bad habit, but the majority echoed your concern that the crunching could be a sign of anemia. I hope your letter will encourage "Hates the Crunching's" husband to contact his doctor and ask to be evaluated.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, who is graduating from college, received a gift card from her aunt. The gift card is for the shop that the aunt owns. I think this was tacky. Am I wrong? -- PROUD MAMA IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR PROUD MAMA: If your daughter likes the merchandise her aunt carries, I see nothing tacky about it. However, for you to criticize the gift is ungracious. And tacky.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Vernon" for six months. We were great together from the day we met. It was like we'd known each other forever and could talk for hours. We talked every night and it was amazing.

Two weeks ago, I was raped by a man I thought was a friend. When I told Vernon, he was shocked and didn't know how to handle it. I was hoping we could get past it, but two nights ago he said he can no longer be intimate with me because he feels like he is doing something wrong, or I won't like it. He said he loves talking to me and still wants to be friends.

We have continued talking every night, but it is hard for me to do as just his friend. Do you think he will be able to get over these feelings and be with me again? Should I remain friends when I have feelings for him? -- WANTS MORE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR WANTS MORE: If you haven't already reported the rape to the police, do it now. The man who did this to you needs to be taken out of circulation so he won't harm another woman.

You should be receiving counseling to help you get over what was done to you, and frankly, so should Vernon. Unless he can stop treating you as though you are "untouchable," you should not continue the "friendship," because what he is doing is distancing himself when you need his support the most.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago I became engaged to a very special man. We have decided to be married during a weeklong cruise we have taken the past two years. We knew some family members might not be able to attend for financial reasons, so we chose to invite only two close friends as witnesses and not have our families there.

My family is OK with our decision, but his family is not pleased. They have been calling him constantly and telling him to change our plans and accommodate them, and frankly, we are sick of it. We know why they're upset, but at the same time this is our day and they should respect our decision.

How can we get them to be more understanding and less disrespectful about how we want our wedding? Please help, because we don't know what else to say to them. -- SOON TO BE NEWLYWEDS

DEAR SOON TO BE NEWLYWEDS: It appears your fiance's family considers weddings to be more about the joining of families and less about the wishes of the individuals involved. They expected to be included, and are hurt because they weren't.

A way to explain your decision would be to make it less about yourselves and more about the fact that you knew some family members could not afford to make this trip, so you plan to have a reception when you return and include everybody.

DEAR ABBY: Next month my husband and I are leaving our 18-year-old son home alone overnight for the first time. We have good neighbors who will keep an eye on things. Although we trust our son, I feel we should let his 16-year-old girlfriend's parents know he will have the house to himself for the night.

I have never met them and don't want to alarm them by calling out of the blue. Do you think I should call them? -- WHAT SHOULD I DO?

DEAR WHAT: Yes. Call, introduce yourself, and suggest that because your teenagers are involved that you meet in person "sometime soon." And while you're making conversation, casually mention that you will be leaving town and your son will be alone overnight for the first time. If you had a 16-year-old daughter, wouldn't you want to know?