DEAR ABBY: I am a longtime reader but a first-time writer. My problem has been bothering me for some time now.

We have a grandson who is 4 and very much a "princess boy." He likes girl toys and dresses and doesn't like any of his boy toys. We're at a loss about how to handle this.

He's an adorable little boy and we love him to pieces. His parents don't accept this behavior, and I'm afraid it will affect him now and in the future. How would you handle this? We don't say anything to his parents because they are pretty much in denial. -- WORRIED GRANDMA

DEAR WORRIED: If he were my grandchild I'd talk with the parents. I, too, am concerned about how their attitude will affect the child in the future, because parents are supposed to love and accept children the way they are, and sexual orientation is inborn. Children who feel consistent disapproval grow up thinking they aren't good enough and don't measure up -- which can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I would "handle this" by making sure my grandson knew I loved, accepted and valued him just the way he is. If that means allowing him to play with the toys of his choice in my home, that's what I'd do. And if he showed more interest in art, music and dance and less interest in sports, trucks, etc., I'd support that, too.

I'm glad you asked this question. Your grandson may or may not grow up to be gay or transgender, which is what I think your letter is really about. Regardless of what his orientation is, it's very important that he knows he is valued for who he is.

DEAR ABBY: I know this boy that I really love. He's nice, smart and funny and I think about him all the time. He says he loves me back.

Is this true love, or just a mutual crush? I know I'm only 13, but I think I'm in love. Is it ridiculous to think I have found true love in seventh grade? How can I tell whether it's love or not? And what would you consider the usual age to find your perfect other half? -- CONFUSED IN LOVE

DEAR CONFUSED: No one can predict how old you will be when you meet someone who is your perfect other half. People's interests and needs evolve as they grow older, and what seems perfect today can seem less so when viewed through the lens of life experience.

I would never label your feelings as "ridiculous," but when you are in love, there is usually no doubt about it. Because you need to ask someone else if what you're feeling is true love, then it probably isn't.

DEAR ABBY: I met a guy on an online dating site. It turns out I know him. He works at a store I shop in three times a week. He's nice, funny and everything I'm looking for in a guy except he's 25 and I'm 17.

He knows how old I am and for a while he was fine with it. Now he thinks I'm a cop and I'm going to bust him for trying to have sex with me 'cause I'm underage. He explained why he thinks that, and he made sense. But I'm not a cop. I gave him information trying to prove I'm not.

Abby, I really like him. How do I prove that I'm not a cop? How do I show him he can trust me? -- NEEDS ADVICE IN OREGON

DEAR NEEDS ADVICE: Undercover cops are older than 17. Because you say this man was "fine" with seeing you, but now is pulling away, it is possible that he is trying to let you down without hurting your feelings. You are not yet out of high school and this man is far ahead of you in life experience. Rather than try to talk him into having a sexual relationship with you, you would be much better off finding someone your own age.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who I believe is having an affair. I have no concrete evidence, only a slew of circumstantial evidence such as odd work hours, blocks of mystery time set aside at night in his cellphone's day planner, and evading questions about texts from females.

I have no idea how to approach him, or if I even should. I wouldn't know how to begin the conversation with him because I have no solid proof. I always considered him to be a decent individual, but in the back of my mind now I'm thinking, "He's cheating on his wife!" What makes me uneasy is that it's all based on my hunch. I'm usually pretty good with my hunches, though.

Any words of wisdom would be welcome. -- NICK IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR NICK: What are you doing going through your friend's cellphone day planner and reading his texts? He doesn't have to account to you for his time. For all you know the man may be in a 12-step program or a therapy group. If he wanted you to know what he's doing, he would tell you. Right now the "friendliest" thing you can do is mind your own business.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked at my job almost 10 years. Most of the owners are nice, and the staff is great. I like my job most days.

I had a really bad week recently. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. The week ended with a really angry text from my boss. He was right. I was in the wrong, and I apologized. He sent me another text, still angry, and my whole weekend was ruined by it. I kept thinking how mad he was, and how in a few days, I'd start my week in the doghouse.

I can't figure out how not to take work home with me. Also, I can't help but think he was wrong using a text as a means of discussing the issue. I don't want to make him angrier. How do I confront this issue? -- STILL UPSET IN OREGON

DEAR STILL UPSET: It would have been much better management if your boss had talked with you face to face about what was wrong with your performance. By now, your boss should have cooled off, and I suggest that you have a private chat with him and say that if he has a bone to pick with you, you would prefer to hear it from his lips rather than have it communicated in a text, which was hurtful.

DEAR ABBY: After my best friend of more than 20 years, I'll call him Tim, told me his wife had cheated on him, I confessed that I am in love with him. His response floored me. Tim announced that he has been in love with me all this time and can imagine growing old with only me.

A friend told me I'm committing adultery with Tim because he is now in the process of leaving his cheating wife for me. Am I? We haven't been intimate, nor do we plan to sleep with each other until the divorce is final.

I have loved Tim far longer than she has been in the picture, and I feel this is a chance for happiness that fate has offered us and we are meant to grow old together. Are we wrong to pursue a relationship? -- CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: If Tim has been in love with you all these years, he couldn't have had much of a marriage. His wife's infidelity was his "get out of jail" ticket and he took it. I don't know what your "friend's" definition of adultery is, but according to Webster's dictionary, you're not committing it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband came up to me after dinner, wrapped his arms around me and asked, "Honey, is there anything we need to discuss?" In his hand he held an envelope on which I had written your name and address. When I told him it was a request for a copy of your cookbooklet -- not a request for marriage counseling -- he was relieved. We have been "cooking up" a wonderful life together for 10 years.

Somehow I managed to misplace your cookbooklet. I have read that there is now a set of two of them. Would you please give me the ordering instructions? Thanks, Abby! -- JEAN IN RICHLAND, WASH.

DEAR JEAN: I get a lot of letters like yours and I'm glad to oblige. Once you start looking at "Cookbooklet II" you will see that a sweet tooth runs in my family. Many readers have told me the dessert recipes in my cookbooklets are great for entertaining, and actually save calories because they are divided among a greater number of people. The raw apple cake with caramel glaze serves 16! My booklets are sold as a set and can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Remember, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away," and this recipe requires five or six of them. (Think of the fiber!)

My cookbooklet set contains more than 100 tasty recipes for soups, salads, appetizers, main courses and desserts that can be used when friends and families get together to celebrate holidays and special occasions.

I have been told by some readers that they have been used as the basis for Dear Abby-themed dinner parties. (The place cards were decorated with hearts and flowers, and the centerpiece was a "bouquet" of envelopes addressed to me.)

P.S. Your husband sounds like a sweetheart. My mother once said the secret to a lasting marriage is a husband who lasts, so feed him well and he will.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a skilled-care facility. I am also preparing for law school. Today one of my co-workers humiliated me in the presence of others by asking if I have been gaining weight. I giggled and said, "Probably."

She proceeded to say that I have gained "a lot" of weight in my "fat face" and told me to get on the scale so she could see how much. I told her it's none of her business.

She has done this to me and other co-workers before. Our supervisor likes her and doesn't reprimand her. How should I handle this? -- GETTING IMPATIENT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GETTING IMPATIENT: Handle it by ignoring this unpleasant person and avoiding her whenever possible. So should any other co-worker she has offended. Any time she attempts to embarrass any of you, it should be reported to your supervisor's supervisor -- individually or en masse -- because the failure to act on your concerns is allowing a hostile work environment to exist.