DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old single mom with three young boys. I am also a veteran and getting ready to go back to school. I have been dating a gentleman for two months now, and we get along great. He's three years older than I am and good with my kids and family.

I like him a lot and we seem to have a lot in common -- more than most. I really want him to kiss me, but I don't want to seem pushy. He's a real gentleman. We have gone from hugs to holding hands while sitting on the couch watching television. I don't mind taking things slow, but ...

How do I find out if he wants to kiss me or not? Sometimes it seems like it, but then he seems afraid to. How do I let him know it's OK? Sorry I seem like a teenager. -- CONFUSED IN IDAHO

DEAR CONFUSED: This man isn't taking things slow. Glaciers have been known to move faster. Two months is a very long time to wait for a first kiss.

The next time you find yourself sitting on the couch and holding hands with him, you have my permission to turn to him and say, "I'd love it if you kissed me." If that doesn't do the trick, then face it -- his feelings for you are only brotherly.

DEAR ABBY: You have written about children in grocery stores before. Would you please address the risk to children by allowing them to stand in grocery shopping carts? I see it all too often, and I don't think the parents/grandparents realize that if the child falls out and lands on his or her head, neck or back, the child could end up paralyzed or dead. The adult must be the rule setter and protect the child. But too often it's the child setting the limits, and the results can be tragic. -- CONCERNED SHOPPER IN NEW YORK

DEAR CONCERNED SHOPPER: I'm glad to oblige. Many markets equip their shopping carts with seat belts to secure tiny passengers and avoid this problem. That way, any liability that might stem from a child falling would lie directly where it belongs, with the adult who should have been using common sense.

DEAR ABBY: My oldest friend owes me a lot of money. I loaned it to her when she was being evicted. She has now come into some money and is going on a cruise.

I asked her to repay me before the trip. She said she "needs the cruise for her mental health." I am shocked and very angry. When I lost my temper and told her off, she accused me of being "greedy and money-obsessed."

Abby, I helped her when she needed it! What should I do? -- FURIOUS IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR FURIOUS: When your "friend" returns from her sea cruise, see if you can get her to agree to a repayment plan for the sake of your mental -- and financial -- health. However, if she refuses, you may have to write off the loan as tuition in the school of experience. Your mistake was not getting the terms of the loan in writing.

DEAR ABBY: I have two sons who will graduate from college on the same day. My wife and I would like to attend both ceremonies, but for obvious reasons, we cannot. How do I resolve this dilemma? -- FATHER IN TEXAS

DEAR FATHER: Divide and conquer. You attend one graduation and your wife the other. To decide which one, you and the Mrs. should draw straws.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Doug" (24), and I (22) have been in a long-distance relationship for a year, but we were friends for a couple of years before that. I had never had a serious relationship before and lacked experience. Doug has not only been in two other long-term relationships, but has had sex with more than 15 women. One of them is an amateur porn actress.

I knew about this, but it didn't bother me until recently. Doug had a party, and while he was drunk he told one of his buddies -- in front of me -- that he should watch a certain porn film starring his ex-girlfriend. It made me feel awkward. The next day he apologized.

Of course, having learned her name, I couldn't help myself from searching for her on the Internet. Now I can't stop comparing myself to her, and I feel intimidated and frustrated.

I have been struggling with how to get over it. Doug has told me many times that he loves me and I believe him. But those stupid, drunken comments really knocked me down. How do I get over my boyfriend's past? -- ECLIPSED BY A "STAR" IN NEW YORK

DEAR ECLIPSED: A giant step in the right direction would be to quit comparing yourself to a porn actress. In his addled condition, your immature boyfriend couldn't resist bragging to his buddies because he thought it would impress them with his prowess. If he had serious feelings about her, he would still be with her, not in a relationship with you.

That said, it would be in your best interest to find out if this woman really was a "girlfriend" or one of his one-night stands. If he is in a long-distance relationship with you and tends to be promiscuous, you should be more concerned about his judgment than how to get over his past.

DEAR ABBY: We have always purchased rather than leased our cars. One of them has 225,000 miles on the odometer and is running well. I have two friends who lease expensive foreign cars. Keeping the mileage down on their cars is important to them, especially when it comes time to return them at the end of the lease.

Because of this, I find myself driving more often than I should. One friend attends a weekly meeting with me, and we're supposed to take turns driving each other every other week. But somehow I end up at the wheel more often. I'd hate to start writing down our outings, but I'm beginning to feel used.

While I respect their decision to lease expensive new cars, it is not my responsibility to keep their expenses down. Both of these women are in a better financial position than I am, although we are all "comfortable."

Any ideas about how to approach this without seeming petty? It has been going on for a long while and is starting to bother me. -- DRIVEN TOO FAR IN LONG BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR DRIVEN TOO FAR: If you feel that you are being taken advantage of, then you probably are. I recommend you wean these ladies off your chauffeur services by being less available when they need a ride. And if you are asked why, remind them of your original agreement to share the driving duties 50-50.

DEAR ABBY: While I always enjoy your column, I thought your advice to "Wants My Space" (Dec. 14), whose son "Dustin" moved away five years ago and expects her to keep his room as he left it, was off the mark. I would have told Dustin what I have told both of my daughters several times: It is not "your" room; I merely let you use it.

Not only is "Wants" not obligated to use her home as a storage facility, she's doing her son a disservice by doing it under these circumstances. At 24, he needs to learn that if he wants a service, it's his obligation to procure it. There are plenty of businesses that can fulfill his needs at a reasonable price. -- MATT IN PROVIDENCE FORGE, VA.

DEAR MATT: For the most part, readers agreed with you, and they offered their own "take" on how to accomplish the removal of the young man's belongings:

DEAR ABBY: An acquaintance of mine had a similar problem with his son. The son expected his dad to provide storage space at no charge for an indefinite length of time. My friend told his son: "No way! You get it out of here within six months, or I'll sell it and keep the money for storage fees."

He didn't think his father would actually do it. Well, he was wrong. And now the younger siblings don't even think of leaving any of their stuff at the father's house. -- SHIRLEY IN CHULA VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: My parents, while not upset with still having their four adult children's belongings in their home, solved their dilemma in a unique way. One Christmas we all gathered at their house and were delighted to find heaps of presents under the tree. Concerned that our folks had way overspent, imagine our surprise when we unwrapped the packages and found all of our own belongings! It was an inventive and effective way to clear out the attic and basement. We still talk about it to this day -- a warm Christmas memory. -- KATIE IN NEWARK, DEL.

DEAR ABBY: "Wants" is blessed that Dustin voiced his desire for his mom to keep his stuff. My mother continued asking me if I wanted my stuff for years. I said no, until one day, yes, I did. My parents are no longer alive, and I treasure the little stuffed dog that was my very first Christmas present.

I'd advise "Wants" to return some of the items to her son from time to time in the form of gifts. To him, they are treasures, and they can be returned in a way that won't make him feel betrayed. -- IRENE IN OWOSSO, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: Dustin should either pay rent to his mother or move his stuff out. If he doesn't, he has abandoned it and she can dispose of it as she sees fit, since it's her house to do with as she pleases. In all fairness, a deadline is reasonable, but it's been five years -- why give him six more months? Enough mollycoddling. -- ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

DEAR ABBY: Dustin may be lucky his mom wants his stuff out. My mom insisted on keeping my room exactly as I had left it as a shrine. I was glad not to have to move all my coin, toy and stamp collections and the other things from my first 18 years.

However, subsequently Mom allowed a young male relative to use my room, and he lost, stole or destroyed all of my memories. I was and am still sad, but I never told my mom 'cause "that's life." -- CHARLIE IN FLORIDA