DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 14 years to a man who had two failed marriages. I never felt insecure in my married life until I read his answers to a Yahoo Answers poll that asked, "Do you dream about the one that got away?" and, "Have you found the love of your life?"

My husband responded that he thinks about her very often, especially on her birthday and Valentine's Day. To the other question he replied he had found the love of his life, but the relationship had ended in divorce, which he admitted was his fault.

I know he was talking about his first wife. I feel so sad and insecure. Now I must deal with the fact that on Valentine's Day his thoughts are with someone else. How can I get over this? I no longer believe him when he says he loves me because I have proof that he hasn't moved on yet. I can't believe he said that even now he still thinks about her. Please help. -- SAD HEART IN SAN JOSE

DEAR SAD HEART: Your husband posted those thoughts on a public forum? Rather than feel hurt and insecure, you should be furious. How would he feel if the person answering that poll had been you? (Of course, you would have had better judgment.)

By now it should be clear to you that you did not marry a rocket scientist. You have my sympathy because his first marriage has been over for nearly two decades and he -- along with his obvious shortcomings -- are no longer her problem, but yours. However, your pain may lessen if you look at the bright side: He treats you well 363 days a year, and many of the women who write to me are not so lucky.

DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with a man in a long-distance relationship for two years. I care about him very much and I believe he cares for me.

Things were going great until he was devastated by a downturn in his business. He had planned to move here, but was unable to sell his home. We used to see each other every two weeks, but no longer. It has been almost two months. He calls once a week, but nothing else.

We have been close and he has shared his life, his worries and personal information with me. I haven't pressured him and I don't need a commitment now, although I would like one someday.

Abby, he seems to be drifting away. Is it OK to write to him, email him, send encouraging notes once a week and continue to support him? Is it too much to ask for more frequent communication from him? I have offered to travel the 1,000 miles, but he has evaded my offer. I'm not ready to walk away. We have been great together and this is difficult for me. Advice? -- HOLDING ON IN COASTAL CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOLDING ON: It's fine to be supportive, but don't overwhelm him right now. You may have to let this play out in its own time. Your friend may have retreated because he's concentrating his energy on reviving his business. He may be licking his wounds or he may have met someone, which is why he discouraged your visit. That he still calls you is encouraging.

Because you have known him for two years, I recommend you simply ask him if he's met someone else. If the answer is no, it will put your mind at ease. But if the answer is yes, at least you'll be clear about what happened.

DEAR ABBY: My husband wears a hairpiece. Unfortunately, it doesn't look very real. Nearly every time we are in a public place, I notice somebody staring or laughing at it. I have talked to him about it only a couple of times, but each time he tells me how attached he is to it and how good it feels on his head. I want him to be happy, but I do not want him to be publicly ridiculed. Should I throw it away? -- WIFE OF A MAN WITH A "SECRET"

DEAR WIFE: Absolutely not. If you want to help your husband, start talking with some hairstylists. There may be a product on the market that is more convincing than what your husband is wearing. (Depending upon how much hair he has on the back of his head, a transplant of some follicles may also be possible.) This isn't just about him having something on his head that "feels good." If it was only that, he'd be wearing a hat.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently married, and my husband and I have not consummated our marriage. I made it very clear that this would not be a part of our life together, and he agreed long before we took our vows. We sleep separately.

Recently, my husband has become sullen and passive-aggressive. He tries to push the issue, to the point of making unwanted physical contact. He knew going in that I am extremely uncomfortable with this form of intimacy and that my views would not change.

We love each other, but his behavior is starting to take a toll on me and the stress is straining our relationship. Please help. -- ASEXUAL IN LOVE

DEAR ASEXUAL: You and your husband are obviously not on the same page as far as what your expectations are about your marriage. How uncomfortable for you and how frustrating for him. He may have thought that after your wedding, with time, he could change your mind -- or he may regard your lack of interest in sex as personal rejection.

For the kind of marriage you envisioned, both parties must feel the same way about sex. Because he agreed to something he can't live with, it might be better for both of you if you separated.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please settle a disagreement I'm having with my mother's boyfriend?

The three of us go out to eat together often. Most times we "go Dutch" and pay for our own meals. The problem arises when he pays for my meal. He'll request the senior price for all of us because he's paying.

I believe the senior discount should apply to the seniors in the group only, and mine should be the regular price. I don't think it's wrong to ask for the senior discount for theirs when I'm paying, but do not feel right claiming it for mine. (I'm more than 20 years away from qualifying.)

It embarrasses me when he does it. I'd much rather pay the full adult price. Even if it's only 50 cents, I still feel like it's cheating.

Shouldn't a senior discount apply to items being purchased for the senior, or should the senior be able to apply their discount for everyone at the table, even if the person is underage? -- KIM IN IOWA CITY

DEAR KIM: Senior discounts are intended to accommodate people who are presumably retired and living on a fixed income. That said, various restaurants make their own rules. If they are willing to comply when your mother's boyfriend asks that everyone be included in the discount, it's no reflection on you if he's the one doing the asking and paying the bill.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 12-year-old daughter who keeps telling me she knows Santa isn't real. "Angela" is an only child, so we don't have a younger child to worry about carrying on the tradition.

I keep telling her that I believe, and as long as she believes, Santa will come. Angela went so far this year to tell me that she won't write a letter to Santa to prove her point. I guess I have a problem admitting to my daughter that her father and I haven't been truthful all these years. I would love some advice on how to handle this. -- I BELIEVE, IN NAVARRE, FLA.

DEAR I BELIEVE: The jig is up. You're no longer fooling your daughter. By not leveling with her, the message you have been sending is that if she wants straight answers, she will have to go elsewhere to find them. Sit Angela down and explain that the spirit of Santa is embodied by loving parents who want their children to experience the wonder of the holiday as well as the pleasures it brings.

P.S. And if you haven't done so already, recant the story you probably told her about the stork.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for three years. I have started seeing a truck driver I'll call Ted. His job keeps him away from me a lot of the time. I'm used to being by myself, so it doesn't bother me that much. Ted calls and texts me all day, so the communication is there.

My family is telling me it will never work because I need someone with me in the evenings -- like my ex was. I say it will work because I'm used to being by myself now. Ted and I have a lot in common.

I guess what I'm asking is, should I pay attention to what my family is saying or tell them to mind their own business? -- OK BY MYSELF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR OK: Constant togetherness is no guarantee that a marriage will be successful. If it was, you wouldn't be divorced from your "ever-present" ex. When choosing a partner it is important to listen to both your heart and your head.

Continue the relationship and see how it plays out. Tell your family you appreciate their concern, but this is something you must decide for yourself. "Mind your own business" seems a bit harsh.

DEAR ABBY: I see a very skeletal woman every day at my gym. She does an hour on the sit-up machine. Her stomach sticks out like a person suffering from starvation. It hurts to look at her.

I feel I have a moral obligation to do or say something in case she is suffering from anorexia. However, I would not feel obligated to say anything to an obese woman at the gym. I am also afraid this person may have another condition that is causing her to waste away.

How should I offer support to her? Or should I just ignore her like the other people at the gym do? -- WORKING OUT WITH MY EYES OPEN

DEAR WORKING OUT: If you would like to reach out to her, be friendly, but do not comment on her appearance. As you get to know each other you will learn more about her condition -- if she has one. If you say anything right off the bat, it could be considered rude, nosy or insensitive, so I don't recommend it.