DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and my dad is in the military, so he's away from home most of the time. I try to help Mom out as best I can, knowing she's stressed with Dad gone.

Whenever she gets mad at me, she calls me a "brat," "selfish" or a "jerk." She even told me once or twice that if she was my age, she wouldn't want to be my friend because of the way I act.

Abby, please help me. I have always tried my hardest to do what's right. How do I handle this without crying myself to sleep? -- FEELS LIKE A FAILURE

DEAR FEELS LIKE A FAILURE: Sometimes when people are under stress, as your mother is right now, they say things they don't mean. And sometimes when teens are under stress, they can act out in other ways.

A way to handle this would be to wait until your mother has calmed down and talk to her about the effect that her name-calling is having on you. Explain that you're trying the hardest you can in a difficult situation, and then both of you should apologize to each other. The bruises that unkind words can leave sometimes outlast those that are physical.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Kathie," has betrayed me. This may sound silly, but my husband and I have a sort of "coat of arms." Ever since we started writing letters and notes back and forth, he has always drawn a character on them, and it turned into "our" symbol.

Kathie is in the armed forces and I made her my maid of honor. But when she showed up, she had that same character tattooed on her back! My husband was upset she chose something so intimate of ours as a tattoo, and a few people have noticed it as well. I don't know how to handle this. It feels like a slap in the face. -- ROBBED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ROBBED: It isn't a slap in the face -- it's actually the ultimate compliment to your husband's artistry and creativity. And while it would have been nice if Kathie had first asked permission, unless the symbol was trademarked she was free to use it, as is anyone else who sees it on her and admires it. Because her tattoo is offensive to you, ask her to keep it covered when she's with you. What's done is done.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 38-year-old wife and mother who has been happily married for 16 years. My young son recently had a medical emergency in his class at school, and his teacher, "Tom," stepped in and saved him.

Since then I can't stop thinking about Tom. I love my husband and I don't plan on seeing or contacting Tom in any way other than as my son's teacher. How do I stop thinking about him? Please help. -- GOING CRAZY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR GOING CRAZY: First of all, you're not going crazy. You are grateful to the "hero" who saved your son. The more you try to smother your thoughts about Tom, the more they will happen.

The most effective way I know of to deal with this would be to talk out your thoughts with someone. If this would be too uncomfortable to discuss with your husband, then do it with a trusted female friend. Over time it should subside.

DEAR READERS: It's time for my "timely" reminder that daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday -- so don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour before going to bed. (That's what I'll be doing.)

DEAR ABBY: We recently learned that our son-in-law, "Mike," was fired from his job as a community service officer with the county. He committed second-degree criminal sexual assault on two women inmates he was supervising and is now in the process of going to court. We hope he'll be convicted and sent away so our daughter can put her life together.

This has torn our family apart. We don't know how to get through to her that she deserves so much better than this. She refuses to divorce him even though this was happening during their marriage and her pregnancy, She claims she's not being abused, but we have seen how controlling Mike has been throughout their courtship and marriage.

How can we help her realize that life without him would be so much better and that sex offenders are never really "cured"? They tell us they are "constantly praying" and that "God has already forgiven" him for what he has done. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. -- WORRIED PARENTS

DEAR WORRIED PARENTS: Your son-in-law's abuse of his authority is appalling. But as long as he's still around and "constantly praying" (probably more for a sympathetic jury than forgiveness for what he did to those women), you won't get through to your daughter.

Fortunately, the justice system has sentencing guidelines for men who abuse their power the way Mike has, and he may be going away for a long, long time. Once he's gone, start talking to your daughter about counseling to deal with the trauma she has been through, and let a mental health professional shed some light on this. If the message comes from a person with no bias, it stands a better chance of getting through.

P.S. I wholeheartedly agree she would be better off without him.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Arizona where the temperature can hit 100 degrees and we get 300-plus days of sunshine every year. I always have my 5-month-old son wear his sunglasses when he goes outside, and I get the most asinine comments from total strangers! Everything from "Can I have his autograph?" to "Does he think he's cool?" How can they be so dumb? People, tiny eyes need protection too! -- A NEW MOMMY

DEAR NEW MOMMY: The individuals you describe aren't "dumb"; they are making a failed attempt at humor. However, I showed your letter to Beverly Hills ophthalmologist Peter Cornell, M.D., who told me:

"It's ideal for everyone -- regardless of age -- to protect their eyes from ultraviolet light. And it's advisable for babies to be protected when they're outside. But it is not as 'crucial' with children as it is for older individuals, because their bodies are better able to repair oxidative damage. That said, ultraviolet light is not the friend of anyone's eyes."

DEAR ABBY: I was married recently but kept my maiden name. As wedding gifts, we received two sets of towels monogrammed with my husband's last initial, and a plaque for the front of the house -- "House of (his last name), Established 2012."

While we appreciate this generosity, I'm sure we will not put the items to use. (The plaque was from a close family member on my husband's side who knew I would be keeping my name.) How do we handle this? -- PERPLEXED NEWLYWED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR PERPLEXED: Here's how: Consign the plaque to your husband's man-cave (or toss it), use the towels for something other than display, and write a gracious thank-you to the family members who gave them to you for their thoughtfulness.

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away a year ago, after being married to "Valerie" for 14 years. After his death, she got his life insurance. She paid for his funeral and the burial. She also bought a new house and a horse within two months of losing our father. Four months later, she was dating another man.

My sister and I didn't ask for anything except a few articles of Dad's clothing. Having spent all the insurance money, Valerie is now asking me and my sister to give her money for our father's headstone. We feel his life insurance money should have been used for this. My question is, are we wrong for being angry with her? Isn't she at least morally obligated to purchase his headstone? -- LOST GRIEVING DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: Your stepmother should be ashamed of herself for foisting off her moral responsibility to her husband of 14 years. And no, you're not wrong to be angry about it.

You and your sister must now decide if you can live with the thought of your father having an unmarked grave. Ask the people who manage the cemetery if they might allow you to have a special planting -- a bush, perhaps -- to be used as a marker in lieu of a headstone.

DEAR ABBY: Last night I got a debt collection call for my brother, "Stan." He and his wife, "Susie," are ready to file for bankruptcy and have been dodging creditors left and right. This is the first time I have heard from Stan's creditors, but creditors have called me about other family members, too. My relatives expect me to lie to the callers to protect them.

Abby, I pay my bills and pride myself on living an honest and open life. I feel bad for Stan and Susie, but is it right for them to expect me to deal with their creditors when they won't? -- FED UP IN DELAWARE

DEAR FED UP: Of course not. However, whoever made that call may not have been in compliance with the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, which applies to those who collect debts owed to creditors for personal, family and household debts. (These can include car loans, mortgages and money owed for medical bills.)

According to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, a debt collector may not contact the debtor's friends, relatives, employer or others, except to find out where the person who owes the money lives or works. If the calls continue, contact the Federal Trade Commission by calling (toll-free) 1-877-382-4357 or visit its website, www.ftc.gov.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years I have become friends with a client of mine, "Doug." I live in Wisconsin; he lives in Florida. We are both happily married and share about family and work. We use instant messaging for work-related issues and to chitchat. We have typed "I love you" to each other at times -- but only if we're being sarcastic, joking around or saying thanks for some help.

My husband doesn't think you can say "I love you" to a friend without having feelings or wanting more. I have never regarded Doug as anything but a friend, and he feels the same. Can I say "I love you" to a friend without it meaning something more? -- SPREADING THE LOVE

DEAR SPREADING: In my opinion you can, and many people do. There is a difference between saying "I love you" and "I am IN love with you," and I'm surprised that your husband doesn't realize it. Could he be feeling insecure?