DEAR ABBY: I am engaged and have been for a while. From the beginning I knew my fiance and I would have to pay for our own wedding. During a recent discussion with my father (who is divorced from my mother), he offered to chip in a reasonable amount and asked me to see if my mother would match it. My mother thought it was a great idea and agreed. A week or so later she wrote me a check for the amount and I deposited it into my savings account.

At the time, I had a high-paying job and a "roundabout" wedding date set. I have since left my job and the wedding has been postponed indefinitely. My mother has now requested that I return the money because she's behind on bills.

Frankly, I think it is inappropriate for her to ask me to return "her" money when it was a gift that I did not request at the time. Am I wrong, or should she leave the money be? -- ENGAGED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ENGAGED: When your mother gave you the money toward your wedding, both of your financial situations were different than they are today. This isn't a question of etiquette. Because you won't be needing it in the near future, return the money to your mother so she can pay her bills. It's not as if she'll be using it for a Caribbean cruise. She needs the money!

DEAR ABBY: I work in a professional office where nearly all my co-workers are married and live rather uneventful lifestyles. I was divorced a few years ago and have not remarried.

I have dated a lot of women, and it has become an issue with my co-workers. They insist on hearing about the dates I go on and ask for the details of what took place, and I usually oblige them.

Lately, there has been more and more gossip about my so-called "wild lifestyle," and I have become the talk of the office. Some co-workers have called me names like "skank" because I refuse to settle down with one girl. I'm looking for the right one, and it may take many wrong ones to get there.

I think my co-workers are jealous. I'm living my life to the fullest and having fun and because they can't do what I do, they resort to gossip and name-calling. It really frustrates me. How can I make this stop without causing unnecessary tensions in my workplace? -- MAN IN MOTION IN INDIANA

DEAR MAN IN MOTION: You are not a "skank." You are a bachelor. I hope you realize that you started this by regaling your co-workers with the intimate details of your "adventures." None of it was appropriate workplace conversation. If you want this to stop, you'll have to draw an iron curtain between your work life and your social life. Start today.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her husband have a wonderful little boy, "Matthew," who is 3. They say they don't plan on having any more children. I am upset that they won't be giving my grandson a sibling. They claim the reason is to be earth-friendly, but I think it is selfish. I know my urging won't change the situation, but it weighs heavily on my mind and makes me sad for Matthew.

My daughter has a brother she is close to. Her husband has two siblings. I think the main reason they don't want any more children is my son-in-law is 17 years older than my daughter. Is there any good way for me to tell her how upset this makes me? -- DISAPPOINTED IN OREGON

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: No, there isn't. There may be reasons that go beyond your son-in-law's age for their decision to limit the size of their family to one child. And they are none of your business.

DEAR ABBY: Several salespersons recently have ended our transaction by saying, "Have a blessed day." The last two times it happened, I stopped and asked, "What do you mean by that?" Both of them stammered and didn't know what to say.

One said, "I'm sort of religious." I replied that I'm atheist. I don't think these folks realize what they're saying. The next time it happens, I plan to respond by asking Zeus to bestow blessings upon them as well.

Why do people feel they have a right to force their religious beliefs on customers? -- ANNOYED ATHEIST IN TEXAS

DEAR ANNOYED ATHEIST: I seriously doubt they are trying to proselytize. The expression may be regional. Or the person may feel that "blessed" is synonymous with "good," "happy" or "safe." If you wish to invoke the blessings of Zeus upon them, feel free to do so. But don't be surprised if you have a heck of a time getting waited on the next time you visit the establishment.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with "Ward" for two years. I love him and everything is great except for one thing. He refuses to compromise when it comes to his family functions.

He's very close to his extended family, and every time there's an event like a recent graduation party for a cousin, he never wants to leave. We were there for 10 hours, and I spent more than half of it either alone or talking to someone I didn't know well because Ward had ditched me.

I have spoken to him about this, but he's unwilling to compromise. He says his family knows him as "the social guy" and expects him to stay late and be the life of the party. It's getting old that he makes me feel like the bad guy or a party-pooper when I want to leave.

We have had big fights over this. I'm not sure what to do. This has caused a rift in our relationship. -- FAMILY-FUNCTIONED OUT IN MINNESOTA

DEAR FAMILY-FUNCTIONED OUT: When the next family function rolls around, go in separate cars. That way you can leave when you get tired, and Ward can stay as long as he wants. No harm, no foul, no fights.

DEAR ABBY: I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 24. Five years later we divorced. My current husband, "Gil," had a similar short first marriage.

Although Gil and I have chosen not to divulge any information to our two children about our previous marriages, my sister thinks we should tell them everything because they may find out later in life and be disappointed they didn't hear it from us. She has said on many occasions that we are being dishonest. That is certainly not our intention. We truly believe there's no reason to bring up a past that has no benefit in their lives.

Your advice is badly needed because I see my relationship with my sister spiraling in a downward direction. I love her, but I don't agree with her opinion. -- LIVES IN THE PRESENT

DEAR LIVES IN THE PRESENT: I see no reason to make a "grand announcement" to your children, but with the rate at which marriages fail in this country, I also see no reason to keep this a deep, dark secret. If the subject of what makes a successful marriage comes up when your children are old enough, and you think it could be helpful to them, you might be able to impart some important life lessons if you mention the past. Having been married once previously isn't a shameful secret, and it should not be treated like one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and go to a high school with drug addicts and girls who are lucky they aren't pregnant. (Some are.) My father thinks I'm like them even though I have proven time and again that I'm not. I have a 4.0 GPA and have never done drugs or had sex.

I'm not allowed to drive anywhere without my mother accompanying me. If I want to go on a date with my boyfriend, my parents must be present. I have lost friends who are tired of having to hang with my parents and me. I have tried telling my dad this, but he claims I'm being ridiculous and then picks a fight with me. I suggested family counseling, but Dad refused. He says we don't have the money.

What do I do? I just want to be a normal teenager who can hang out without my parents following me everywhere. -- TIRED TEEN IN WYOMING

DEAR TIRED TEEN: You have my sympathy. You have caring and conscientious parents, who appear to have gone overboard in trying to shelter you. By age 17 -- and with a 4.0 GPA -- you should have been allowed to socialize without a constant chaperone. That's how teens learn to develop relationships and make mature decisions.

In another year you will be 18 and an adult. If there is an adult relative in whom you can confide, ask that person to please speak to your parents on your behalf. You should be experiencing more freedom than you have been allowed.

DEAR ABBY: I have known my boyfriend, "Kyle," for eight years. We have been dating more than two years and living together for seven months. We have an amazing relationship. We love to laugh and make each other laugh. That's a "quirk" we share.

This morning, Kyle woke up, went straight to his dad's house without saying why and returned with his hair cut, beard trimmed and looking well-groomed. He seemed kind of "off," though -- almost nervous. He then went to his mom's to help with some yard work and when he came home, he snuck up behind me and slipped a ring on my finger. I got a little teary-eyed and asked where it came from. He said from his mom. He acted shy, wouldn't say much or look right at me. Then, after a moment, he shouted, "Just kidding! I wanted to make you laugh and freak you out a little."

I don't think there was malicious intent on his part. He's a sweetheart, but I don't know how to tell him how badly he hurt me emotionally. I thought he was proposing. What should I do? -- UNENGAGED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR UNENGAGED: Sit Kyle down and tell him the effect his "joke" had on you. After a couple has started living together, a proposal of marriage is no laughing matter unless both partners are in on the joke.

P.S. If you talk to him in all seriousness, you may find that he did propose, but then got cold feet.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my early 60s and have no plans to retire. I raised a child on my own and wasn't able to save much for retirement, and my office retirement plan disappeared during the recession in 2008.

Because of my age, people young and old often ask when I plan to retire. I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation as to why I continue to work, and I plan on working as long as I can. I usually say I can't afford to retire, but then I get a response like, "I sure hope I'm not working at your age," or "You can get Social Security," etc. Any idea how I should respond to let these people know it's none of their business? -- MIFFED IN MENLO PARK

DEAR MIFFED: All you have to do is smile and say, "Retire? I'm just getting started!"