DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of one year has told me he needs to focus on getting his life together -- getting a better job, concentrating on his career and finding himself. At this point in his life, he knows he can't provide for me and give me what I want, which is to settle down in a few years.
He said he is unsure when he will have his life together and he doesn't want me to wait for him. He feels he needs to be "selfish" now and focus only on himself. We have talked about breaking up, and while he has faith that we will be together again, I can't bring myself to end things with this amazing man. -- AFRAID TO LET GO
DEAR AFRAID: When a man says he wants to focus only on himself and he doesn't want you to wait for him, what he is really saying is, "It's over." While the prospect of moving on after having invested a year in the relationship may be anxiety-provoking, at this point, you really have no choice. And don't expect to "be together again" anytime soon because his road to self-discovery could take a long, long time if it happens at all. Please accept my sympathy for your heartache.