DEAR ABBY: My husband and I just got some shocking news. His father -- age 81 -- is leaving his wife of 60 years! Mom is not entirely self-sufficient and seems dependent on him.

Dad found himself a younger woman -- a "chick" of 70. He has announced that he still has sexual needs and wants to enjoy the rest of his life. My husband thinks it will be a short-term fling and he'll return to Mom, but she says she won't be taking him back. (Who knows how she'll feel later?)

My problem is, no matter what happens between them, I'm having a hard time even considering forgiving him for his selfishness. I know it's not my place as his daughter-in-law, but I don't know how I can bring myself to face him feeling as I do. Any words of wisdom? -- JUDGMENTAL JUDY IN ARIZONA

DEAR JUDGMENTAL JUDY: I do have a few. If your mother-in-law hasn't already done so, make sure she gets the best legal advice possible. After 60 years of marriage, there should be plenty of assets to split. They will make her financially independent, and from that, emotional independence will follow. Do not count her out as a weak sister just yet because she appears to be stronger than you think.

While it's possible your father-in-law may want to reunite after the fling, it is equally possible that when the "chick" sees his nest egg is cracked in half, he will be less appealing to her. Only time will tell. In the meantime, keep the peace, bide your time, and as tempting as it may be to voice everything that's on your mind, keep your lip zipped. This isn't your marriage, so don't stir the pot.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Tom," the love of my life, for four years. We have been together more than 10 years and have a 2-year-old daughter.

Tom was diagnosed with a terminal illness early last year and is close to the end now. He's very angry, which I understand, but he takes it out on me since I am his caregiver. I'm also a full-time student about to graduate with my degree in registered nursing, so I'm busy all the time.

Between school, my daughter and giving full care to my husband, I'm stressed out. He yells a lot about everything, from money woes to the wrong bread on his sandwich. To top it off, we haven't been intimate since our daughter was born.

I'm not considering straying from our marriage, but at times I feel I'll be ready to date as soon as he's gone. It makes me feel guilty. Is it wrong to feel this way? Do you have any advice to help me through this tragic time in our lives? -- DEPRESSED AND LONELY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR DEPRESSED: Yes. Stop beating yourself up for experiencing human emotions at a time when you're hauling a load that would crush an ox. Of course your husband is angry. He has good reason to be -- but he's misdirecting it on you.

Guilt is the last thing you need to add to what you're dealing with. It's normal to crave the closeness you haven't experienced in two years.

If there are counseling services offered at your nursing school, please avail yourself of them. Venting your feelings in a supportive environment will lighten your load and help you cope with your husband. There are also online support groups for caregivers. If you reach out in either direction, you'll feel better. It could also be helpful to ask your husband's doctor for a referral to someone who does end-of-life counseling for him.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 10 years. Early in our marriage my husband talked about wanting to try swinging. We did, and had many enjoyable experiences.

Two years ago he decided he no longer wanted to be in the lifestyle, so we stopped. The problem is, I miss it very much. I want to get back into it and have talked with him about it, but he insists we stay out of it. I am torn between going to parties behind his back, suffering my displeasure in silence because I'm not able to do something I really enjoyed, or divorcing. Can you help me figure this out? -- FOXY IN PHOENIX

DEAR FOXY: Let's review your options as a process of elimination. I don't recommend that you do anything behind your husband's back because, at some point, what you're doing is sure to come out. I also do not recommend suffering in silence because sooner or later your unhappiness will become apparent.

That leaves the option of divorce. Because you and your husband no longer see eye to eye on the issue of marital fidelity and he wants a wife who will "cleave" unto him only, it makes sense to go your separate ways so both of your needs can be met.

DEAR ABBY: The other day when I went jogging, I met a guy just as I stopped to take a water break. He started flirting and I was too tired to tell him to leave, so I decided to humor him until I cooled down enough to resume my jog.

He asked me basic questions trying to get to know me, and when I told him I was a college student, he asked for my GPA. When I told him it was none of his business, he laughed and asked what my problem was. He said no one else had complained when he asked, and he didn't mean to pry. I still felt he was being rude, so I said goodbye and jogged off before he could say anything.

Abby, I wasn't trying to hide a low GPA, but I don't think it's something to tell people in a first meeting. Is it normal for people to ask others what their GPA is -- especially if they just met? -- CO-ED IN BOSTON

DEAR CO-ED: When someone says he or she is a student, the question that usually follows is, "Where are you studying?" or "What's your major?" It's not, "What's your GPA?" which seems like a not-so-subtle way of asking whether you're a good student or not. His attempt to make conversation was clumsy -- and because he said the question is one he asks routinely, let's hope he learns from his encounter with you and scratches it off his list of pickup lines.

DEAR ABBY: I have an issue I'd like your opinion on. What should the Tooth Fairy do with baby teeth after collecting them? She stopped coming to our house years ago, but the baby teeth have been dutifully saved -- every one of them -- in a jar where the Tooth Fairy left them.

I thought I was unique in this predicament, but found out that a sister-in-law had the same dilemma. Our kids are adults now, but I don't know what I should or could do with these little keepsakes of a beautiful boy who stole my heart the minute I looked into his eyes. -- ALWAYS HIS MOM

DEAR MOM: Let's see ... You could have them mounted and display them on a charm bracelet. You could offer to sell them back to your son. Or, you could place them in an envelope and put them in a box with the curl from his first haircut and a pair of his baby shoes. One day I'm sure he'll be touched.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single guy, 33 years old. I am 6 feet 9 inches tall, and defined as husky. I only need to enter a room and it gets quiet followed by a "funny" comment about my size. I smile and laugh to put people at ease. Then I'm forgotten, a gentle giant who is called on only when people want something.

I'm sorry to say women either want nothing to do with me, or something to do with my wallet. I don't enjoy spending my life alone looked at like a freak of nature. But morning comes and I carry on in pain while wearing a smile.

I keep hoping to find that special someone who would hold me and tell me it is going to be OK. It would be nice to smile because I'm happy instead of doing it to hide pain. Do you think it will happen someday? Maybe? -- HURTS TO SMILE

DEAR HURTS: Yes, I do, and I'd like to suggest two things you can do to make it happen. The first is to contact a group called Tall Clubs International. It's a not-for-profit social organization for tall adults (men must be at least 6 feet 2 inches and women at least 5 feet 10 inches) that was founded in the late 1930s. It provides members with social activities and travel to cities around the U.S. and Canada for gatherings. The toll-free phone number is 888-468-2552 and the website is www.tall.org. Through this group you can meet people with whom you see eye to eye.

I would also suggest that you talk about your self-esteem issues and sadness with a licensed mental health professional. You are not a "freak" -- you're a big guy with a big heart and the same need to feel accepted and wanted as everyone else.

P.S. If you repeatedly encounter women who are only after your wallet, then you're hanging around with the wrong crowd.

DEAR ABBY: After 29 years of marriage, I am leaving. I took off my wedding ring about three weeks ago, and the indentation it left is like a permanent scar -- a painful reminder of a failed marriage. Do you have any suggestions to lessen the mark left on my finger? I have considered buying myself a large precious gemstone in celebration of my freedom, but I would like to know if there are any alternatives. I'm not opposed to plastic surgery if it is necessary. -- MARKED FOR LIFE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MARKED: If you buy yourself a large ring for the third finger of your left hand, people may think you are engaged or still married. My advice is to consult a dermatologist about the mark left by your wedding ring. It's possible that some of the injectable "fillers" that are used to lessen facial lines could also work for your finger. (I'll bet it won't be the first time the doctor has been asked this question.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged woman in a five-year relationship with another woman. My girlfriend lives in another city and shares her home with her 30-year-old son.

During a conversation recently, she mentioned that her son massages her feet at night. I often massage her feet, and I know that foot rubs are sensual and somewhat intimate. I feel it is inappropriate for her adult son to be doing this. What do you think? -- BEFUDDLED IN FLORIDA

DEAR BEFUDDLED: I think it depends upon who is doing the rubbing and the circumstances. When someone gets a foot rub from a lover or a spouse, it can be a form of foreplay. When it's done during a pedicure, it's not. I seriously doubt the woman gets turned on when her son massages her tootsies, so forget about it!

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Sundown marks the beginning of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. During this 24-hour period, observant Jewish people fast, engage in reflection and prayer, and formally repent for any sin that might have been committed during the previous Hebrew year. To all of you -- may your fast be an easy one.