DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 10 years. Early in our marriage my husband talked about wanting to try swinging. We did, and had many enjoyable experiences.
Two years ago he decided he no longer wanted to be in the lifestyle, so we stopped. The problem is, I miss it very much. I want to get back into it and have talked with him about it, but he insists we stay out of it. I am torn between going to parties behind his back, suffering my displeasure in silence because I'm not able to do something I really enjoyed, or divorcing. Can you help me figure this out? -- FOXY IN PHOENIX
DEAR FOXY: Let's review your options as a process of elimination. I don't recommend that you do anything behind your husband's back because, at some point, what you're doing is sure to come out. I also do not recommend suffering in silence because sooner or later your unhappiness will become apparent.
That leaves the option of divorce. Because you and your husband no longer see eye to eye on the issue of marital fidelity and he wants a wife who will "cleave" unto him only, it makes sense to go your separate ways so both of your needs can be met.