life

Little Boy Flasher Tries to Cover Up His Exposure

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 19th, 2012 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Anissa" is 3 and has an older cousin, "Billy," on my fiance's side who is 5. Billy has been caught on several occasions showing his "manhood" to little girls, and we recently found out he took Anissa into a pop-up tent and showed her as well. This was not on my watch, because I don't feel comfortable leaving them alone together.

After I learned about the incident, I was told that Billy had done this with another cousin and told her it was a "secret" and not to tell.

Abby, as far as I know, Billy was spoken to at great length and reprimanded after the first few occurrences, but he continues to do this, it seems, at every opportunity he gets.

Is this normal behavior for boys? I think the parents are burying their heads in the sand. They get defensive when the subject is brought up. Personally, all I can do is keep Anissa within arm's reach when Billy is around. What do you think? -- NOT ON MY WATCH

DEAR NOT: I think that's intelligent. Although children are naturally curious when they learn there's a difference between boys and girls (hence the genesis of playing "doctor"), Billy appears to be overly preoccupied. Because he is telling the girls to keep what he's doing a secret, he knows he is doing something wrong. Repeated naughty actions can be corrected only if there are consequences for them, and it appears a lengthy talking-to and a reprimand haven't gotten through to the child.

life

Dear Abby for September 19, 2012

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 19th, 2012 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I need your assistance resolving an awkward situation. I have noticed other women experiencing "wardrobe malfunctions." In each instance, they were otherwise tastefully dressed but seemingly unaware of the sheerness of their clothing. For example, one was wearing white slacks through which the patterned fabric of her underwear could be seen clearly.

Is there a polite way to alert them of the problem, or is it better to say nothing? Most of these women were strangers, but I couldn't think of tactful wording even when it happened to a friend. -- JUST TRYING TO HELP

DEAR JUST TRYING: If it's a friend, say, "Honey, I can see the pattern of your underwear through your slacks," and it will probably be appreciated. However, if it's a stranger, keep your comment to yourself because it probably won't be.

life

Dear Abby for September 19, 2012

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 19th, 2012 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My late partner and I had matching wedding rings, as we had a civil marriage. Since my partner's death, I have met someone else. We have become a couple and also want to have a civil same-sex marriage.

Do you think it would be wrong to use the same wedding rings I had with my first partner? I'm not sure how I feel about it and need some input. -- ALLEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR ALLEN: Far more important than what I think about it is what your significant other thinks. Personally, I would "retire" the rings from your former marriage and start with new ones because it's a new relationship. While no rule of etiquette says there is anything wrong with using the old ones, this really isn't a question of etiquette.

life

Woman's Golfing Companion Has Knocked Her Into the Rough

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 18th, 2012 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I thought "Arlene" was a close friend until I heard that she and another "friend" had arranged a trip to the theater. Several other women were also invited, but I wasn't. I should point out that when Arlene and I attended shows in the past, I was always the one buying the tickets.

I paid for her golf dues last October because she was a little short, and she still owes me about $1,000. I provided her transportation to the golf club for the last four years because she doesn't have a car. Arlene and I have shared many shopping trips together, and I have always picked up the tab for lunch.

What's your take on this? I'm crushed!-- LEFT OUT

DEAR LEFT OUT: If this was a one-time event, then it's time to straighten up and "uncrush" yourself because, regardless of how much money you have invested in your relationship with Arlene, you don't "own" her. My take on this is that in your zeal to be a good friend you have gone overboard.

If being excluded is an ongoing problem, then you and this woman are not as close as you assumed, or she has decided to take a breather. In that case, my advice is to work out a payment plan for the golf dues you are owed and widen your circle of friends.

life

Dear Abby for September 18, 2012

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 18th, 2012 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: We have a large condo in Florida and are thrilled to have family and friends visit. I keep a small calendar of our appointments, events, etc. in the corner of my kitchen. A few of our visitors have made it their business to read the calendar and ask me who and what these events are all about.

My husband and I have been having some marriage problems and are seeing a therapist. One relative noticed these appointments and wanted to know "what that was all about"! Abby, isn't it rude to read someone's personal calendar and ask these kinds of questions? I must leave the calendar where it can be seen or my husband doesn't remember medical appointments, etc. -- CALENDAR GIRL

DEAR CALENDAR GIRL: Of course it's rude to read someone's personal calendar. (It's called snooping.) Before the next houseguests come to visit, relocate the calendar to a private area. Then remind your husband about his appointments. That way he will know the schedule, and there will be nothing to arouse anyone's curiosity.

life

Dear Abby for September 18, 2012

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 18th, 2012 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Why can't bakeries slice English muffins and bagels completely through? Nobody eats either one without toasting them and slicing them first.

Along the same line: Why do loaves of bread have "ends"? Everybody throws them away and they are wasted. -- MINA IN KELSO, WASH.

DEAR MINA: English muffins aren't meant to be sliced. To prepare them at their best, they should be purchased whole and the perimeter perforated using a fork so the muffin can then be torn apart before toasting. This leaves lots of irregular nooks and crannies so when they are buttered, they are even more succulent.

As to the ends of bread loaves (called "heels"), not everyone throws them away, just as not everyone cuts the crusts off. Some people enjoy the heels because they make for a chewier sandwich.

life

Talented Tradesmen Keep Our Country Up and Running

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | September 17th, 2012

DEAR ABBY: America's tradesmen -- plumbers, electricians, auto mechanics, roofers, masons and more -- get very little respect. In fact, the only time these skilled professionals get our attention is when we have an emergency.

This lack of regard is leading our nation down an unfortunate pathway, as fewer and fewer young people pursue jobs in these professions. If we don't change our attitude about the worth of tradesmen, who will build our homes and schools, repair our cars, keep our water flowing and our power turned on?

On Sept. 21, we have a chance to thank a tradesman. The date has been earmarked as National Tradesmen Day. Everyone can participate: Drop a box of doughnuts at the job site near your home. Call your plumber and say, "Thank you for your help over the years." Invite a skilled tradesman to speak at your child's school. The ways to honor them are limitless. Abby, would you help to get the word out? -- JEFF D. IN GREENVILLE, S.C.

DEAR JEFF: I'm pleased to help because I agree with your message. Tradespeople don't often receive the respect and gratitude they deserve. Everyone needs to know his or her efforts are valued and appreciated, and failure to extend this courtesy may affect our quality of life in the coming decades.

In years past, skilled trades were handed down with pride from one generation to the next. However, as baby boomers have been retiring, fewer young people have been stepping forward to take their place. In fact, according to a recent talent shortage survey by ManpowerGroup, more jobs for skilled tradesmen go unfilled than any other category of employment.

Why? Because there aren't enough trained replacements to fill openings for electricians, welders, mechanics, plumbers, roofers and more.

Part of the reason may be our emphasis on pursuing advanced college degrees for almost everyone. But another may be the lack of respect that has been shown for these vital occupations. The result has been, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, that for every three tradesmen who retire, only one person is stepping up to fill the gap.

I hear from many readers whose young adult children are unable to find work. Talk with them about this. People in the trades can earn good money. Visit a local community college with your son or daughter and learn more about classes and certifications available for skilled trades.

And please, show tradespeople how much their contributions are valued. Call your favorite handyman, plumber and HVAC technician not to once again scream for help, but to express your appreciation. Treat them to a box of your special home-baked cookies or brownies, refer them to your friends and family so they can get additional business, write to your local newspapers, websites or blogs expressing your appreciation.

Visit nationaltradesmenday.com, and please remember, these hardworking individuals need to know that although National Tradesmen Day is Friday, we are grateful for their efforts the other 364 days a year, too.

Subscribe

Receive Dear Abby Free Every Day


Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Walking in the Snow
  • Complimenting Strangers
  • Imperfections
  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
  • Downsizers Dispose of Treasured Heirlooms
  • Dad Reluctant to Help Second Child with Loan
  • Dad Frustrated by Kids' Refusing to Learn Basic Care Maintenance
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal