DEAR ABBY: My mom's boyfriend wants to spend time with my 16-year-old sister and take her places all the time. He wants to cuddle with both of us whenever we sit on the couch and gets really upset when we don't want to. He's my biological father, but I have known him only for a year because he left my mom when she was pregnant with me.

Now he wants to play "dad" when I already have had a dad all my life. (Mom was married for 11 years to another man.) I'm 14.

He yells and swears all the time and takes things away from us if we don't do what he wants. He isn't physically abusive yet, but the cuddling freaks me out and I don't think it's right. I told my school counselor. She said to get over it, that it wasn't a big deal.

Abby, what can I do? I think he is grooming my sister for sex since he told us he likes young girls and was used to them before Mom. Mom has problems with depression and reality and won't listen to us. Help us, please. Where can I go? -- HELPLESS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HELPLESS: Because your father's overtures make you uncomfortable, and he "punishes" you if you don't accept them -- it is a "big deal." Before this goes any further, you should call Childhelp and describe what's happening. The toll-free number is 800-422-4453. The person who answers the phone can refer you to help in your state. Please don't wait. Your safety and that of your sister could depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: I am romantically attracted to a girl, "Jade." We have known each other ever since we were in diapers. She's bubbly, vivacious and beautiful. We flirted with puppy love about 10 years ago, but it never went beyond writing love letters and ended quickly. It was so disappointingly brief that I have never regarded it as a true relationship. I consider her my first love.

Jade goes through boyfriends like a chain-smoker goes through cigarettes. It seems as if every time I ask her, "So, how is your current boyfriend?" that she has a new one. Her mother is the same way, truth be told, and never found a good father figure for Jade. The men her mother dated were abusive. Consequently, Jade isn't the best judge of men, either.

My parents have suggested that she may view me as a friend because I'm the only decent guy in her life, and she's afraid we wouldn't be friends if our romantic relationship ended. I want to tell her that I'd like to date her the next time her current relationship ends. At the same time, I want her to know I'd rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Thanks to the wonder of social media, I will know when her next relationship ends. Should I wait till then? If not, how long? -- FIRST LOVE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FIRST LOVE: You seem to have a lot of insight about Jade. Because she was raised by a mother who was involved in one abusive relationship after another, she may feel that unless there is pain and drama, that what she's experiencing is boring and not really "love." Until she realizes that the criteria she's using in choosing men are flawed, and is willing to get help to straighten out her thinking, her pattern will continue to repeat itself.

As you hover over your keyboard waiting for news of her next romantic failure, I suggest that rather than "pounce," you keep her as a friend until she's ready for a mature relationship. If you don't, you will only suffer more disappointment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old gay man. In my community, coming out at work isn't an option. I really like my job and want to keep it. However, a female colleague is not only trying to persuade me that the two of us would make a good pair, but she has gotten all of our co-workers involved. I'm constantly pressured by my supervisor to "just go out with her and give her a chance."

I have already told everyone, including her, that I'm not interested in mixing my personal life with my professional one, and I want to come to work only to work -- not upgrade my marital status. However, because of my unwillingness to do what they "recommend," the pressure from everyone has gotten worse. I dread coming to the office.

Would it be unethical to hire a "girlfriend" to stop by the office next week to bring me my lunch? Maybe if I kiss and hug her as I say goodbye, my co-workers will finally back off. If not this, can you recommend something else? -- CAN'T COME OUT IN TEXAS

DEAR CAN'T COME OUT: You have described a classic example of sexual harassment and a hostile work environment. Your co-workers and supervisor may consider themselves to be "Cupid's helpers," but their actions could be the basis for a lawsuit. That you are gay has nothing to do with it. If you were straight and preferred not to involve yourself in an office romance that could turn out badly, or felt no chemistry with your aggressor, what is being done to you is intolerable. It's embarrassing and distracts you from your job.

Document everything. Go to your supervisor's boss if necessary and and state plainly that you need help to put a stop to this. You do not have to explain why you're not attracted to this desperate woman. If it isn't stopped, talk with an attorney.

I do not recommend hiring anyone to pose as a girlfriend, or you may have to put her under long-term contract, which could be expensive in more ways than one.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem that I don't know how to deal with and I'm hoping you can come up with a solution.

I'm undergoing chemotherapy for colon cancer. I'm happy to say that I'm doing well. I have a chemo session every two weeks, and afterward there is a bag I wear for two more days that pumps additional medicine into me. I do what I can to keep the bag out of sight, but it isn't easy. Sometimes the tubing works itself loose and hangs down a bit.

My problem is people seem to feel free to ask me what it's for, and it's really embarrassing. I don't know these people, and for heaven's sake, why would they feel they have the right to ask such a personal question? Some of them have approached me and asked loudly, "Hey! What's that for?" Then they stand there waiting for me to answer the question.

Going through chemo is hard enough physically and psychologically. I don't need some ignorant clod asking me about something so personal. Some won't take no for an answer. Do you have any ideas on how to deal with this? Every time it happens I feel depressed and upset. -- TRYING TO COPE

DEAR TRYING TO COPE: Say, "I'm being treated for a medical condition." And if the person then asks what it is, say, "It's personal. And if it was any of your business, you'd already know the answer to that question."

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is insisting that her adopted son and I each write a eulogy for her, so she can read it before she dies. We don't think her request is appropriate and have told her so, but she keeps insisting. What do you think? -- TO WRITE OR NOT TO WRITE

DEAR T.W. OR NOT T.W.: I think your mother-in-law is starved for compliments, and that's why she's pressuring you. Ask her what she would like to have included in her eulogy, and then do some creative writing. When the time comes to read it, she won't be around -- and you can say whatever you'd like with no repercussions.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Sally's" husband, "Donny," left her when she was three months pregnant with their second child. She had to move back in with us to make ends meet, and Donny says it's "too strange" to come here to visit his son. He hasn't paid a nickel of child support since he left Sally. He's seeing another woman and wanted to introduce her to my grandson, but Sally said he would have to pick him up at our house, so he refused.

Three days ago, Donny emailed Sally and asked her to call him when she goes into labor so he and his girlfriend can be there. She replied that he is welcome to come after the baby is born, but the girlfriend is not welcome. He emailed my daughter back that she is immature, and she needs to get used to the idea that the girlfriend is going to be involved in their children's lives and she should "get over it."

We are horrified that he thinks this is OK. What do you think? How do we handle this? -- UPSET GRANDMA IN MISSOURI

DEAR UPSET GRANDMA: It appears your daughter married a self-centered loser who has been shirking his responsibility to his child. Because there is no reason to think this won't continue when their second child arrives, Sally should start talking with a lawyer, now.

As to the email he sent your daughter, she should refuse to take the bait and not respond to it at all. Sometimes silence sends a more eloquent message than anything one could say. It goes without saying that Donny and his girlfriend should not have a front-row seat for the birth of this baby.

DEAR ABBY: We are a youthful senior couple who plan to remain single. We like to travel together. People assume that we are married. I know these incidents will increase on any trip we take.

A straightforward, "Oh, we're not married," seems to cause awkwardness, especially with the age group that will be on these trips. I'd like to avoid lying or allowing the faulty assumption to exist. Any suggestions for the appropriate response? -- COUPLE ON THE GO IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR COUPLE ON THE GO: Couples in your age group who cohabit without marriage often have financial reasons for it. And not all married couples share the same last name. Because you feel you must reveal your single status, the appropriate response is the one you are giving, and you don't have to apologize for it.