DEAR ABBY: My grandfather recently went to jail for having child pornography on his laptop. The lawyers and everyone else say he molested me and my sister. I almost had to testify.
I'm only 13 and have talked with people, but they don't get it. I don't want to talk to a therapist or anything, but my mom and aunt think I should.
Should I? I feel really sad right now. I first learned about this two years ago, but it still hurts. I kind of feel uncomfortable talking about it to people other than my best friends. I write sad poetry to express my feelings and it helps some.
I don't know what to do. It's like I'm stuck in a rut. What should I be feeling? Do I need to talk to someone? Should I open up more? -- UNSURE OF MY FEELINGS
DEAR UNSURE: If your grandfather is in jail, and "the lawyers and everyone else" say he molested you and your sister, then he probably did. The two of you may not have understood what was happening because he led you to believe what he was doing was normal behavior. (This is standard operating procedure for a molester.)
Part of the reason for your sadness may be that your trust was violated. Talking to a therapist is not a punishment. It's actually a privilege, and I hope that you and your sister will take advantage of it. A therapist can give you more insight than your friends can give you.
Your mom and your aunt have your best interests at heart, so please listen to them. A therapist can help you open up more, and your sadness will dissipate.