DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old female being married for the second time. My first marriage took place 28 years ago and didn't cost my parents a penny because there was no wedding.

I would like to ask them to contribute financially this time to help with the cost of a small, intimate ceremony and dinner for fewer than 20 people. Am I asking too much? -- SECOND TIME AROUND IN ORLANDO, FLA.

DEAR SECOND TIME AROUND: Yes. Couples on their "second bounce" pay for their own weddings. And by the way, there is no obligation on the part of the bride's parents to pay for her wedding even the first time around. A wedding is a gift, and to solicit a gift is inappropriate. If your parents volunteer to chip in for your wedding, then it's fine to accept. But don't ask them to do it. That you didn't have a wedding the first time around does not obligate them to pay for one now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 38-year-old woman who has moved around my whole life. Because of this, I have no childhood friends who have carried over to adulthood. I am friendless and lonely for companionship. I have a husband and a son, but I long for a female friend I can chat with, shop with or just sit with and be around.

I have tried meeting new people at the park with my son, and I felt like I hit it off with a few people, but they all (at this age) already have dear friends and don't seem interested in changing their circles. Am I destined to be lonely? -- JUST ME IN TENNESSEE

DEAR JUST ME: I don't know how much free time you have on your hands, but you need to meet more people than the women at the park. If you have become isolated waiting for someone to rescue you from your loneliness, please understand that the cure for loneliness is to do something.

Volunteer at a school, museum, hospital, library or food bank. Join a garden club, bridge club or book club. Look around and see if you can find any other lonely people and turn them into friends. If you pick up the phone, you will find it rings on both ends.

DEAR ABBY: My dad and I were very close. He would tease me about being a tightwad and I'd tease him about being a spendthrift. When he passed away last year, I was -- and still am -- devastated.

I recently visited the library and, while looking at some books for sale, I found one by an author I like. I said to myself that if I had the correct amount of change in my purse, I could buy it guilt-free. Unfortunately, I was a few cents short.

As I turned to put the book back on the shelf, I spotted a dime on the floor. Like the writers of the "pennies from heaven" letters you have shared, I am certain that the dime was from my dad, who was essentially buying the book for me. I purchased it and will treasure it always. -- GRATEFUL DAUGHTER

DEAR GRATEFUL: What a sweet letter. I hope you will enjoy the book for years to come. It speaks "volumes" about your relationship with your dad.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 25-year-old, happily married woman with a great life. Ever since the birth of my son a little over a year ago, I find myself angry at things that happened in my childhood that I thought I had "gotten over."

Abby, I was mentally, physically and sexually abused by my father. He has never had to answer for his actions, which of course he denies. My mother was also emotionally and verbally abusive, as well as absent. I have a newfound anger toward her, and the hatred for my father has resurfaced. (I have had no contact with him for years.)

How do I get over this? I had therapy as a kid and I'm looking for other options. -- HAVING FLASHBACKS IN MARION, OHIO

DEAR HAVING FLASHBACKS: You may be looking for "other options," but more counseling may be the best option for you. Now that you're a mother yourself, with a daily reminder of how small and fragile a child is, it's not surprising you're angry at your parents for the way you were treated when you were little and helpless. A licensed psychotherapist can help you work this through in the shortest possible time, so please don't wait to ask for a referral.

DEAR ABBY: Less than a year ago, my 28-year-old son, "David," married his college sweetheart, "Ann." She's a wonderful girl. They bought a home near her job in the Midwest.

David sometimes goes out of state on temporary jobs. He called me a month ago, while on a job in a resort area, and told me he has met someone and wants out of his marriage. He said Ann has been great, they never argue, etc., but he was pressured into the marriage and doesn't really know where his life is going.

Ann has called me several times in tears. She said she will give him time, but she is almost ready to give up. I am heartbroken. I think my son is making a terrible mistake, as Ann truly loves him and will do anything for him. I love her like a daughter.

I have spoken to David and told him what I think, but I don't know what else to do. There is no good reason for this breakup. How can I help him not to go ahead with this? -- VERY SAD MOM IN MARYLAND

DEAR MOM: You can't prevent your son from leaving the marriage. However, you would do him and Ann a favor to suggest that when his business in the resort area is finished, they seek marriage counseling. David may want out because he met someone or, as he said, he didn't really want to be married in the first place. If there's an upside to this, it's that they didn't have children.

While the situation is sad and you love your daughter-in-law, do not allow yourself to be put in the middle or you will alienate your son. If the marriage doesn't work out, you can still have a relationship with her, although it won't be the one you planned on.

DEAR ABBY: What's the difference, in your opinion, between gossip and news? I have a friend who loves telling me things about other friends. I think she does it in order to let me know that she knows something I don't know. Frankly, I think she's invading the privacy of others. She considers it "news." I consider it gossip. -- UNWILLING LISTENER IN PHOENIX

DEAR UNWILLING: News is something that affects everyone. It's supposed to be fact-based. Gossip, on the other hand, a form of voyeurism, is often based on conjecture and its intent is titillation.

DEAR ABBY: I have an offensive habit of looking people "up and down" when I first meet them, and when I think no one is aware of it. I have tried breaking myself of the habit, but I often don't realize I'm doing it until I catch myself. I know other people notice.

I'm a shy, self-conscious person, but at my age I should be comfortable enough with myself to not allow my insecurities to be so obvious. How can I stop this bad habit? -- MS. LOOKIE-LOO IN GEORGIA

DEAR MS. LOOKIE-LOO: You may be looking people up and down because your social insecurity makes it difficult for you to look them in the eye -- which is what you should be doing. As with any habit, breaking it will take practice. When you meet someone, make a conscious effort to look no further down than the person's shoulders. If you can't continue eye contact, shift your glance between the person's mouth and forehead.

DEAR ABBY: My co-workers and I are having a debate and need you to settle it for us. "Anthony" was born in Mexico and spoke Spanish for the first four years of his life. He was then adopted and has lived in the United States ever since. He does not remember any Spanish at all.

Anthony says that Spanish is his first language (since it was the first one he learned) and that English is his second. My other co-workers, however, say that Spanish cannot be his first language if he doesn't know any. Who is correct? -- SPEAKING UP IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR SPEAKING UP: If Spanish was the language your co-worker learned in his early childhood, then Spanish was his first language. However, because he has spoken (and thought) only in English since the age of 4, English is his dominant language. Readers, do you agree?

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I went out to dinner recently at an upscale restaurant in a hotel in a nearby city. During the dinner I asked my wife not to scrape bread crumbs from the tablecloth onto the floor, and to please not use her fingernail to pry something from between her teeth.

She became upset with me for saying it. What she was doing embarrassed me; it didn't look appropriate. She says I should have waited to tell her. We have agreed to abide by your words. -- EMBARRASSED HUSBAND IN OREGON

DEAR EMBARRASSED: As long as you couldn't be overheard, there was nothing wrong with you saying it. In an upscale restaurant, the server is supposed to remove crumbs from the table -- not the diner. And if there was food between your wife's teeth, she should have excused herself from the table to remove it. (Ick!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl and have a brother two years older than me. We look a lot alike. I often get, "You look like the girl version of your brother," etc. This doesn't bother me, but I really don't know a polite response to the comment. Any ideas? -- RESEMBLES MY BROTHER

DEAR RESEMBLES: Just smile and say, "No, he looks like the boy version of me."