DEAR ABBY: I regard my photograph albums as diaries. I don't like to make copies of my pictures for others. My future mother-in-law looked through my albums and chose half a dozen that she would like me to copy for her. I had already given her several snapshots of her son and me, but she wants more.

Abby, I don't understand why she doesn't just take her own pictures of us! I view these pictures as personal items. I don't think they are for others to own and display. Am I wrong? How can I refuse requests for copies of my pictures without offending someone? -- L.E. IN CINCINNATI

DEAR L.E.: I think you're viewing this scenario from the wrong perspective. Perhaps your mother-in-law-to-be isn't as comfortable or creative with a camera as you are. If she didn't have warm feelings for you, she wouldn't want to own and display the pictures she's requesting.

Unless you become less territorial and change your attitude, I foresee a troubled relationship with your mother-in-law looming on the horizon. Get the picture?

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years and have two small children. My husband loves me and is good to me. My problem is I no longer feel the same about him anymore.

My former fiance recently came back into my life. I hadn't seen him in eight years, and the moment I saw him all the old feelings came flooding back. We even spent the night together.

I told my husband everything, hoping he would be upset and leave me, but he was forgiving and wants to stay married! Now I don't know what to do -- stay with him or be with the one true love of my life. I can't stop thinking about my love. Please help me. -- UNHAPPY IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR UNHAPPY: Nowhere in your letter have you indicated that your ex-fiance feels the way you do, and is ready to support you emotionally and financially. You have much to lose if you abandon your husband and children. That's why I'm urging you and your husband to seek counseling to try to reignite your marriage, because right now you are living in a fantasy of what "might have been."

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor "Marcella" is 84. She's a lovely woman, but she's dependent on me to do everything for her because she's quite senile. Marcella has been in three auto accidents and goes from doctor to doctor for treatment because she forgets who treated her last.

Abby, this poor woman's "children," who are in their 40s and 50s, live 10 minutes away and visit her only twice a year. They knew about Marcella's car accidents and never even showed up at the hospital.

I have my own family to care for and I work. Marcella demands my attention daily to do her grocery shopping, check her furnace or take her to doctor's appointments. I just can't do it all anymore! Your advice? -- LOYAL NEIGHBOR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LOYAL NEIGHBOR: You are very kind-hearted, but the responsibility for your neighbor's care should be borne by her children. If you don't want to confront Marcella's children directly, phone or write them a letter explaining what you have told me. If they refuse to help, then senior citizen services in your county should be contacted ASAP.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married to my college sweetheart for 20 years. "Mark" is a great husband, a good father, and we are very compatible. He is the kind of man who brings me flowers for no reason, and who'd rather be home cooking dinner with me than almost anywhere. I know he loves me and our children.

Recently, a woman called our house, identified herself as "a friend," and told me Mark has been "playing around" all over town and she thought I should know I was married to a "pervert." She hung up before I could comment. Mark swears he is not, and never has, had an affair.

Of course, I believe the man I have known for 25 years over a complete stranger, but this has been very upsetting. I now question my decision to be a stay-at-home mom and wonder if someone may be out to get me. I have become nervous in crowds, fearful that someone is watching me or us when we're out together. Mark is trying to be there for me and says we will go to marriage counseling or whatever I need.

Abby, I am happy in my marriage. Yet I feel violated, depressed and resentful that a stranger has the power to make me question my own happiness. Can you help me? -- SAD WIFE IN NEW YORK

DEAR WIFE: The prank you have described could have been perpetrated by a high school student dialing randomly, or a disgruntled person with a grudge against your husband -- or even you -- for some imagined slight.

You feel violated because you have been. People can exercise power over us only if we allow it. You have a husband who loves you and a marriage many people would envy. I don't think you need marriage counseling. However, some sessions with a mental health professional might be helpful in putting this unpleasant incident behind you.

P.S. I assume this was a one-time thing. If the calls persist, the phone company and the police should be notified that you're being harassed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I separated two years ago. For the past year, I have been dating one man exclusively. We have a wonderful relationship that has great potential. Never have there been two people with more in common.

There is one problem. I have no children and he has three. Two are adults -- responsible, good people. The youngest, "Erik," is 18, and he's the problem. He dropped out of school, doesn't work, refuses to even try to find a job and doesn't have a driver's license.

Erik has stolen money from me and also from his father to buy drugs and alcohol. Basically, the kid is good for nothing. He doesn't even have any friends left.

My boyfriend realizes his son's problems, but has essentially given up on him. I can't blame him. It has reached the point where I can't even stand to be around the kid. It doesn't look like he'll ever get a life and move on. Please tell me what to do. -- AT A LOSS IN NOVA SCOTIA

DEAR AT A LOSS: You and your boyfriend are overdue for a frank discussion. You could have a good relationship with this man if he agrees to insist that his son get counseling and drug treatment. Be firm and do not allow him to sidestep his son's obvious addiction. But if he refuses, you should move on.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years you have published letters about the hard work done by wives who stayed at home and advised that husbands should share some of the load.

I am a male. When I was married I got up with the kids, made breakfast, packed their lunches, cleaned the kitchen and left for work. I did 90 percent of the grocery shopping and prepared dinner four or five nights a week. On weekends, I cut the grass, trimmed shrubs and repaired whatever needed fixing. I took care of the cars and found time to have fun with the kids.

My wife liked late-night TV and was too tired to get up in the morning. She also loved the morning talk shows and shopping. She did laundry, but I paid for a cleaning lady because vacuuming hurt her back.

When I resisted her controlling ways, she would become violent. She was jealous, dependent, possessive and angry. After 29 years, I finally decided to get a life. She got the house, the money, the anger and the dog. And me? I got the happiness! -- FREE MAN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FREE MAN: It is no longer shocking to hear about long marriages being dissolved. In your case, while the financial penalty may be sizable, it appears to have been worth it. When a relationship becomes one-sided and counseling can't resolve the conflicts, divorce is the answer.

Because of the years of domestic abuse you endured, I hope you will consider counseling so your future relationships will not be adversely affected by your long, unhappy marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Tammi," is attending college in a neighboring state. When I text or call her, she doesn't respond. I have asked her to please just text me back saying she's OK. She says my texting her once a day is "overkill" and I should stop doing it so often -- once a week is often enough. I feel it is disrespectful of Tammi not to respond to my texts, even with a simple "OK" or "fine." She texts her friends all the time, so I don't think five seconds is too much to ask of her.

I'm willing to compromise and text Tammi every other day or every three days. She is my only child and I want to know that she is well. Am I being unrealistic or asking too much? -- TAMMI'S MOM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MOM: Tammi may be your only child, but she's a young woman now, and she needs room to grow up and establish some emotional independence. What you're demanding is an example of helicopter parenting. If you are worried for your daughter's safety, ask her to carry a card in her wallet identifying you as the person to be notified in case of an emergency.

DEAR ABBY: Would you settle a small disagreement? When we are being seated in a restaurant, my husband thanks the maitre d', the server when he is handed the menu and again when his order is taken.

He also thanks the server when his meal arrives at the table, when his iced tea is served, when it is refilled and when the bill is handed to him. As we are on our way out, he again thanks the maitre d' or hostess. Isn't this overdoing a good thing? -- SUFFERING IN SILENCE

DEAR SUFFERING: I don't think so. Your husband was taught to verbally express his appreciation when something is done for him. He takes nothing for granted. And that is an admirable trait, not something to complain about.