DEAR ABBY: My parents are approaching their 80s, and I'd like to recommend to seniors that a cherished gift to their children and grandchildren would be a journal or family history book written by them describing their childhood memories and early married years. So many funny stories and historical markers of an earlier time -- before computers and fax machines -- will be lost if they're not shared.

Children and grandchildren can be given the chance to see through your eyes and your memories what their aunts, uncles and grandparents were like, and you can laugh together at the silly things that happened when you were young.

The family history can be passed from one generation to the next, and I cannot think of a more special gift. -- CHARLENE IN CAMARILLO, CALIF.

DEAR CHARLENE: That's a splendid idea. However, I would urge children and grandchildren to not wait for the family history, but to interview their parents and grandparents now, with pencil in hand. Better yet, if possible, use a video recorder.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend who is married to an abrasive, negative woman. She never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything.

I value this friend and would like to continue our friendship, but I don't want his wife's negative energy around my family. Should I explain that he and his children are welcome in our home, but his wife is not? Or should I arrange to see him only when I know his wife is occupied elsewhere? -- S.K. OUT WEST

DEAR S.K.: What a sad situation. Your friend's wife's behavior indicates that she's an unhappy and troubled woman. As a couple, they probably need all the friends they can get.

To tell this man that you want to protect your family from his wife's "negative energy" could end the friendship, so I don't recommend it. Seeing him when his wife is otherwise occupied would be far more diplomatic.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a fairly intelligent 45-year-old woman. After being single for four years, I began dating a man my age with whom I share many interests. Early on, we had a few fights -- possibly because we were both hurt in our previous relationships and were having a hard time adjusting to and trusting a new person.

Things have settled down now. Most of our time is spent together even though we live an hour apart, and we're considered a couple by our friends. I enjoy the time we spend together, but I keep remembering our early fights and I worry about repeats. I think because of our pasts we'll date for a long time before either of us considers moving in or making serious commitments.

My question is, how can you know if you're on the right path? -- A LITTLE SKITTISH IN CANADA

DEAR SKITTISH: The right path usually isn't a short sprint. You're on it when you realize how many common interests you have and how much you enjoy each other's company (which you do). You're on the right path when you can be open and honest with each other and work out differences without quarreling. And you're right: It can take some time to get there, but there's nothing wrong with that.

DEAR ABBY: It's Father's Day and I'd like to salute one particular unsung hero -- my dad. He was there for me and my sister despite a difficult workload throughout our childhood. He has always been generous with love and affection, and I have no doubt that he has sacrificed things he wanted personally for our benefit.

Dad has been the calming voice during times of strife. He can fix anything from a broken washing machine to a broken heart. He has not only nurtured us, but our children as well.

He has been our role model when it comes to setting an example of what a man, husband, father and grandfather should be. He is never judgmental and has always shown us the best in ourselves. He's consistent in his love of God, country and family. He is patient, kind, generous and smart in ways I only wish I could be.

To top it off, he found us the best mother we could have hoped for. They have been married 58 years. My unsung hero doesn't wear a cape, but I do believe he has certainly earned a halo. -- SHARON IN BRANDON, FLA.

DEAR SHARON: What a sweet letter. I'm printing it to honor not only your father but also the millions of men who dedicate themselves daily to raising their children with love and support. In addition, I'd like to extend a Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- not only birth fathers but also stepfathers, foster fathers and those caring individuals who mentor youngsters whose parents are absent or deceased.

Bless you all.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please help librarians across the country clarify something that is generally misrepresented to the public?

Patrons who need assistance operating a computer may be able to get help at their local library. That's "may," not "can." Too often, people are instructed to go to their library and use a computer to file taxes, redeem a gift, print pictures, etc. The fact is, not every library has computers with Internet access. Most do, but not all.

Further, many libraries lack sufficient staff to offer one-on-one support to operate a computer. To someone who is proficient, it may seem strange that a person can't simply lay a hand on a mouse and go. The reality is, computers and the Internet are not intuitive to those who haven't been exposed to them -- and there are many.

While I don't know of a librarian who wouldn't like to offer unlimited assistance to computer users, libraries nationwide are losing staff due to budget cuts. At the same time, use of libraries is steadily increasing. It's frustrating to disappoint patrons who expect to receive instruction in computer operation. We prefer they leave our building happy.

So, Abby, please spread the word. Computers and Internet services vary from library to library. Readers should ask their librarian about what services are available at their local branch. -- CONCERNED CITIZEN, EASTHAMPTON, MASS.

DEAR CONCERNED CITIZEN: Thank you for shining a light on this important subject.

Readers, if this letter is as disturbing to you as it is to me, write your congressional representative and express your concern. For lower- and middle-income people of every age, libraries have performed -- and continue to perform -- a vital function. Their budgets must not be slashed to the point that they can no longer fulfill their mission of informing and educating the public.

DEAR ABBY: I was molested for years by my brother and I never told anyone. It led to poor self-esteem, ruined the intimate side of my life and caused several other serious issues, including depression. I took the first chance I had to leave home and refuse to have contact with my brother. The problem is, I have a younger sister who I'm worried may now be in the same position.

I need to talk to her, but I'm not sure how. What do I say? Should I tell her what happened to me so she knows she is not alone and to stay away from him? -- SCARED AND WORRIED IN ARIZONA

DEAR WORRIED: Talk to your sister about this as quickly as possible. Do it in person, and a way to start the conversation would be to ask if he has ever touched her inappropriately. Explain that it happened to you, because it may make it easier for her to tell you if she, too, has been molested. Since you are reluctant to talk to your parents about this, contact your local police department and ask to speak to an officer in the sex crimes division. It may set the wheels in motion to prevent your brother from continuing to prey on young women.

If you haven't had counseling to help you deal with what you have suffered, I hope you will consider it. There is also a group, Survivors of Incest Anonymous, a 12-step program that is open to individuals 18 and older who want to go from being victims to survivors. Its website is www.siawso.org. You might find talking with others who have experienced what you have to be both comforting and helpful.

DEAR ABBY: I feel lost. I'll be 18 soon and for the past two years I have felt like my life is going nowhere and won't change. I haven't decided what I want to be, and I don't want to grow up. I'm afraid of the future and what it will be like to be on my own.

I don't know if anyone else has felt like this, or if it's just a part of growing up. When I was 12, I couldn't wait until I was 18 and on my own. Now I feel pressured and like I need to hurry and choose what I want to be. Please help me. -- LOST IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LOST: Do you know where this pressure is coming from? It's coming from yourself. Years ago, high school students had to decide what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives because the workplace was different. People trained for jobs they would perform until they retired. That is no longer true. Workers today must remain flexible and willing to learn new skills because they may change jobs several times during their working lives.

Not all people have the same interests and aptitudes, so start thinking about subjects that you like. Visit the library and research how they can be applied. Your future isn't something to be afraid of -- it's something to be explored and enjoyed. You do not have to make any hasty decisions now.

DEAR ABBY: We go to a lot of summer social events. Quite a few of them include a band. I love listening to music and being in a social setting. However, I do not enjoy dancing. It makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. When I am asked to dance, I fumble around and make excuses. What can I say when asked, without sounding unfriendly or weird? -- TWO LEFT FEET IN PASO ROBLES, CALIF.

DEAR TWO LEFT FEET: How about this: "Thank you for asking, but no. I'm not very good at it and it makes me uncomfortable. Would you like to sit down?"