DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Wally," and I have been friends for several years, and a couple for nearly two. He recently brought up the subject of marriage, and we agreed that we are likely altar-bound.

Only one thing gives me pause. A few months ago, Wally got plastered and had a fling with a female friend. He regretted it immediately and said it was what made him realize I am "The One." (He is getting help for his drinking now.)

The problem is, the woman is still pursuing him. She buys him gifts or brings him vegan meals. He has asked her repeatedly to stop, to no avail. Because Wally is a vegetarian and I'm not, I suspect she's trying to prove she would be a better partner for him.

I have asked Wally to cut off contact with her, but he won't. He feels bad for her because she has few friends and lives in an isolated little town. What do you suggest I do? -- UNWILLING TO SHARE

DEAR UNWILLING TO SHARE: Raise the subject of marriage with Wally again, and tell him his continued contact with the woman he cheated with is hurtful to you and a threat to your relationship. Ask how he would feel if you continued to see and accept gifts from a man you'd had a drunken fling with. If he says he wouldn't be thrilled, perhaps he'll be able to understand your reaction to what's going on. If he says he'd be fine with it, then Wally isn't the man for you.

DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old niece, "Amelia," is a beautiful young girl. She has only two flaws -- she lies constantly and she's boy-crazy. I have to listen to my sister talk on and on about how hard it is to trust her. My sister and brother-in-law have set many rules and limits for my niece. I think her punishments for breaking rules fit the crime -- grounding, having things taken away, etc.

Amelia knows she can't have a boyfriend until she's 16. Lately, she keeps trying to get boys' phone numbers and meet with them. She has also been caught sexting three times and lying about it. As her punishment this time, my sister and her husband shaved Amelia's head. I am shocked and devastated for my niece. I think it was extremely inappropriate.

When I try to talk to my sister about my concerns, she tells me she had no choice because her daughter had so many warnings. I don't know what to do. I think my niece will need counseling. My sister says I am overreacting. Am I? Or did she? -- WORRIED AUNT IN UTAH

DEAR WORRIED AUNT: Amelia's parents went off the deep end. What was done to her was awful, and you are not overreacting. Instead of shaving her daughter's head, your sister should have tried to understand why she is lying and desperately seeking attention from boys.

If I ever heard of a family in need of family therapy, it is your sister's. Love, attention and less draconian punishments are what Amelia needs, not months of public shaming.

DEAR ABBY: My husband committed suicide 20 years ago. He left a note, but I never shared it with our children, as they were very young at the time. They are all happy, successful adults. Should I share the note with them? I still have it. -- ANONYMOUS DOWN SOUTH

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your children are probably curious about why their father chose to end his life. Let them know the note exists, share it with them if they would like to see it and answer any questions they may have. They have a right to know.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, who is 55, has been diagnosed with Pick's disease, or frontotemporal dementia. His prognosis is from two to seven years -- only God knows. We are handling this with better-than-average concern. It is his diabetes that everyone keeps going on about. He's on medication and his diabetes is under control.

My problem is, I let my husband eat whatever he wants within reason. If we're out to dinner and he wants ice cream, or asks me to buy him his favorite lemon cookies, I don't argue. When people tell me I shouldn't do that, my husband replies that he is already dying, so why shouldn't he enjoy his life now?

He still enjoys baseball and taking our granddaughter to the zoo. He is still mobile and, in fact, has recently lost 45 pounds. People don't understand his attitude, but he is right. He is dying, and I am letting him enjoy his final years. Am I wrong for doing this? I want him to enjoy what he can now, as there will come a time when he can't. -- LOVES HIM IN NEBRASKA

DEAR LOVES HIM: Please accept my sympathy for your husband's diagnosis. As someone who also believes in quality of life rather than quantity, I see nothing wrong in allowing him those pleasures he enjoys. For your husband, the countdown to zero has begun. You are both being rational and realistic. Clarify that fact for the naysayers or ignore them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who suffers from syncope. I become lightheaded whenever I must have blood drawn or a needle prick -- it doesn't matter which. My physician and her nurse always accommodate me by allowing me to lie down during these procedures, and consequently I have never fainted.

However, if I go elsewhere for a procedure, as I recently did to a free medical screening, after telling the medical personnel about the syncope, the reactions I typically receive range from a look like I have two heads to comments like: "Oh, this will be real quick; you won't feel a thing," "Don't watch" or "Think of something else."

Well, I did experience an episode of syncope during that last screening, and it was very embarrassing. Why won't medical personnel listen to what a patient tells them? Who knows my body better than I do? -- SYNCO-PEEVED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SYNCO-PEEVED: Believe me, I empathize. However, free screenings can be as jam-packed as a casting call for "American Idol." Overwhelmed medical personnel may not be able to accommodate someone who has special needs. That's why it's important when you hear comments such as those you mentioned that you insist on being helped by someone who understands what the implications of syncope are. You may have to wait a bit longer, but it may prevent a blackout.

DEAR ABBY: Should a mother call her son if he is a father to wish him a Happy Father's Day? -- ANDRIETTA IN NEW YORK

DEAR ANDRIETTA: That would be a nice gesture. He qualifies.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a middle-aged, divorced man in a one-year relationship with a wonderful woman. "Alexis" is bright, pretty, fun, responsible, affectionate, and yes, I do love her. She also insists that I move in with her. She wants us to start our life together under one roof -- hers.

I'm having a hard time with all of this -- selling my home, selling most of my belongings, changing my work-from-home routine and giving up the independence of living alone with my mutts. Alexis still has a minor child at home, which is an issue because I feel I have "been there, done that."

I don't think the timing is right, and I have told her as much several times. But she's soon back in "sell your house and move in" mode. Alexis is beginning to think I will never make the move. (She may be right.) I'll probably lose her if I don't give in. Any suggestions? -- STAYING PUT IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR STAYING PUT: Before selling your home and most of your possessions, consider putting the things you want to keep in storage and renting out your home for a year. That way, if things don't work with Alexis -- and they might not -- you won't have given up everything. Another plus: By then your house may have risen in value and you'll get a better price for it. But do nothing in haste or because you feel you are being pressured.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently moved to a new area and are becoming friendly with the people in the neighborhood. My husband works as an education director for the local synagogue and, because he is in this field, we have agreed to keep our new home a kosher home and follow the strict rules of kashrut. We will allow no food in the house that has not been prepared in a kosher kitchen using food approved by the Orthodox Union.

My question is, if people decide to stop to introduce themselves and bring something homemade as a welcoming gesture, how do I politely and tactfully decline their gift if they do not keep a kosher kitchen? -- NEW ON THE BLOCK IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEW ON THE BLOCK: Smile at your food-bearing neighbor and say, "Thank you. We keep a kosher home and want to know if you do, too." If the answer is no, explain that while it looks delicious and you appreciate the gesture, you can't accept the food because of your strict observance of your religion.

DEAR ABBY: On Jan. 23 you printed a column "Recognizing the Signs of a Stroke Can Help Save a Life." Well, in our family it sure did. After my husband and I read it, we had our three children (19, 16 and 14) also read it. Then we hung it on the wall in the kitchen.

Our 16-year-old son, Charlie, was taking his 87-year-old grandfather out shopping not long afterward, and not a mile from the house our son noticed rapid changes in his grandfather. Grandpa said, "I'll be fine, just take me home." Of course our son, for the first time, did not listen to him. He pulled the car over and proceeded to call 911. A couple of weeks of physical and occupational therapy, and they say Grandpa will be good to come home. Thank you so much for putting that in your column. -- CATHERINE IN GARDINER, N.Y.

DEAR CATHERINE: You're welcome. I'm pleased to know -- as I'm sure the writer of the letter I printed will be -- that it turned out to be so helpful to you. Your son is a hero, not only because he saved his grandfather, but also because he calmly took control of the situation in an emergency.