DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were invited to a dinner party at a couple's home. We accepted the invitation with pleasure, only to be told afterward that it was going to be a "potluck."

My husband and I were raised to never go to someone's home empty-handed, so we were happy to bring a dish to contribute to the meal. When I called the hostess to ask if we could bring dessert or perhaps an appetizer, she informed me that the menu had already been planned and we were assigned a side dish neither of us had ever heard of. Then she told me she would email me the recipe.

Abby, I was shocked and, frankly, offended. I would never tell a guest what to bring and what recipe to follow. When my husband told me he was willing to give the dish a try, I told him I would not attend a dinner party where I was commanded to bring a specific dish.

My husband stayed home with me that evening, but says he can't understand what the big deal was. Was I wrong to refuse to participate? Or should I have gone along with the program and kept my mouth shut? -- LOST MY APPETITE

DEAR LOST: Having accepted the invitation you should have gone to the dinner, taken the side dish and made the best of it. You may have missed out on a memorable and enjoyable evening.

DEAR ABBY: I was in a passionate relationship for three years with my first real boyfriend. We were very young and desperately in love. I adored him completely, without hesitation. Then we had some irreconcilable differences and parted.

I went though a period of self-reflection and didn't date again for almost four years. During that period, I thought and prayed. Then I met someone special, "Zack." We have been seeing each other for five years now, and our relationship is solid. It's wonderful in every aspect -- except that I am not in love with him.

We plan to be married in six months. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do though. I have hesitated for years despite pressure from my family.

I enjoy spending time with Zack more than with anyone else. We understand each other and he knows me so well that it's uncanny. We're compatible with the same interests and similar beliefs.

Zack knows that I love him but am not "in love" with him, but he still wants to marry me. Is it wrong to marry your best friend? -- UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNSURE: No, it's not wrong to marry your best friend. But because you have reservations about marrying Zack, you should be honest and break the engagement. It will be less painful for both of you and far cheaper than divorce.

DEAR ABBY: The grandfather of a friend recently died. The sister of this friend and I had dated not long ago. I would like to send a condolence card to the family. Would it be proper to send one card addressed to "The Smiths" or should I send a card to the family and a separate one to "Lisa" (the woman I dated)? -- JAY

DEAR JAY: You are a thoughtful person. A letter or card of condolence should be sent to the family, and a separate condolence should be sent to Lisa.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old, newly single female who has never been happier. I've had a couple of long-term relationships that didn't turn out well, so my quiet, uncomplicated life is refreshing. All I'm looking for now is to make new friends and enjoy myself.

A few guys have asked me for my phone number -- usually through social networking -- and have suggested getting together for a couple of drinks. As nice as that would be, the last thing I want to do is lead anyone on or give him the wrong impression. When I do decide to start looking, it will be for no one less than my Prince Charming, and I don't regard any of these men as that. Going out with girlfriends is hard because they're mostly married with children.

What and when is the best way to tell guys that, as much as I enjoy their company, I am looking only for friendship at this time? I live in a relatively small town, so going out with different men on a regular basis gives people the wrong idea about me. -- WANTS ONLY FRIENDSHIP IN MICHIGAN

DEAR WANTS ONLY FRIENDSHIP: I understand your feelings, but please allow me to point out that meeting Prince Charming can be an accident of luck and timing. In addition to that, he doesn't always come dashing forth on a white horse -- sometimes it's an old clunker.

If you announce to any man who asks you out for a couple of drinks that you're interested only in friendship, he will interpret it as rejection, so I don't advise you to make that your lead sentence. A better retort might be that rather than going out for drinks, you'd prefer to start with coffee and conversation. Who knows? The longer he talks, the more attractive he may become. Stranger things have happened.

DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter, "Roxanne," is attending college in a big city known for its crime rate, unemployment and despair. She lives alone in an apartment just off campus. She's a smart girl, careful and cautious, but I still worry about her to the point of sleepless nights and a general feeling of "when" something will happen -- not if.

Roxanne's apartment was broken into last Christmas. Thankfully, she wasn't there at the time. Since then, my worry has intensified -- especially if I don't hear from her for a few hours. We usually text or call each other at least once a day. If I don't hear from her, I panic.

My husband calls me a professional worrier and says I need to trust that our daughter is safe. I don't think I'll ever not worry about her, and the truth is I really want her to move back home. I realize this would be counterproductive to her achieving success, but I don't know how to let go of the worry. I need advice, Abby. Is this just a "mom thing" or should I seek help? -- HALF-CRAZED MOM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MOM: It's a "mom thing" taken to the extreme. One of the reasons that children go away to college is so they -- and their parents -- can learn to live independently from each other. For you to expect your daughter to call or text you at least once a day feeds your dependence on her. It appears you suffer from a case of parental hypervigilance -- and yes, for both your sakes, you should seek professional help.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl and have just gotten out of a seven-month relationship. I was a virgin until this relationship. I told my boyfriend, "Gavin," that I was a virgin and wanted to wait until I trusted him and felt that I loved him.

Well, the time came that I felt I did love and trust him, so I went ahead and had sex with him. After one month, Gavin decided he was sick of me! It seems like as soon as we started having sex, things started going downhill. I feel so hurt and used, I'm now starting to view sex negatively.

I know I'm young and have years of relationships in front of me. But are all men just out there for sex? If they are, it just doesn't seem worth it. -- HURT AND CONFUSED

DEAR HURT AND CONFUSED: You have my sympathy. It appears that Gavin was more interested in the challenge you presented than in a lasting relationship. Not all men are that way, but most in your age group are because they are not yet emotionally or financially ready for a marriage commitment. Remember that, and you may avoid future heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I am 23, happily married and have two children. My question involves my 4 l/2-year-old, "Shelly," who is the result of a previous relationship. Her biological father left me after he found out I was pregnant. When I was almost ready to deliver, he called and asked me to come back to him, which I did, only to get dumped again one week before Shelly's birth.

Since then, I have married a wonderful man I met days before Shelly was born. He has adopted her, and he is the only daddy she has ever known.

My question is: When would be the best age for me to tell her about this? -- CLUELESS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CLUELESS: Your daughter should be told as soon as she's old enough to understand the difference between "biological" father and "adoptive" father. And when you do, tell her that her daddy fell in love with you both at the same time.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for one week. We have been together for three years. The problem is his last girlfriend. She was married three years ago, but will not leave him alone.

It never fails that when we are out, and she and her husband are at the same place, she confronts my husband about how sorry she is for the past and wants him to take her back. He tells her it is over. Her husband knows that she does not love him but loves my husband.

I am so tired of this, Abby. What do I need to do the next time this happens? Do I call her and tell her to leave him alone? -- STEAMING IN GARDEN CITY, KAN.

DEAR STEAMING: Do not call her. The next time it happens, your husband should tell her he is not interested, that he is happily married now, and that she is making herself and her husband look ridiculous.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell me if there are any "rules" about a divorced woman wearing her wedding rings on her right hand. I am divorced, but my wedding rings are beautiful and I'd like to wear them on my right hand. Clear this up for me, please. -- MAKING SURE IN IDAHO

DEAR MAKING SURE: No rule of etiquette forbids you from wearing your wedding rings on your right hand if you wish -- many divorcees (and widows) do. Enjoy!