DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Angie," and I have been happily married for 11 years and have two wonderful kids. Angie has been working out the past couple of years and has achieved impressive results. She looks great. I fully support her in this and she knows it.

The problem is she's consumed by an insatiable hunger to be thin, although she is already very much in shape. She talks nonstop about new diets and ideas for losing weight, even though I constantly compliment her. Why does she keep insisting that she needs to diet? -- ALARMED HUSBAND

DEAR ALARMED: Your wife doesn't see herself the way you do. She does not accept that she has achieved her goal and regards herself as still a work in progress. This may be because she has low self-esteem, or she may have a condition called "body dysmorphia," in which a person can't stop thinking about a perceived flaw in his or her appearance.

The person she should be talking to about her weight issues is her physician. I recommend you suggest it to her to be sure her preoccupation isn't an unhealthy one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school senior. My boyfriend has asked me to marry him and I said yes. I don't know if I may have said it too quickly or if I should have waited. My family keeps asking me if I'm "sure." Well, I want to be with him, but I don't know about marriage.

Please help me. I don't want to make a big mistake. -- CONFUSED TEEN IN SELMA, ALA.

DEAR CONFUSED: If you are unsure if you want to be married, you agreed too quickly. What you need to do is take a little time to decide what you want to do with your future.

Before marrying, it would be wise to consider completing your education so you will be better able to contribute financially to your marriage partnership. If you do, you will need to focus on your studies for the next few years. If not, you should still postpone marriage until you have lived apart from your family long enough to establish emotional and financial independence.

Your family keeps asking if you're "sure" because they are concerned that you have made too hasty a decision. The dreams you have at 18 may change by the time you are 23. Until you are 100 percent sure you are doing the right thing, do not set a wedding date.

DEAR ABBY: My estranged niece's high school graduation is coming up, and her father (my brother) has invited me to attend. He says she wants all her aunts (including me) to be there.

I'm not sure I should go because she kicked us out of her life years ago when she went to live with her mom after her parents separated. She said many hurtful things to her mom about us at the time and said she wanted us out of her life. Please advise me. -- TAKEN ABACK IN SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: It strikes me as strange that the woman your brother was divorcing would repeat the uncomplimentary things her daughter (may have) said about family members -- unless it was an attempt at parental alienation.

I hope you won't let something your niece might have said years ago, while under the emotional strain of her parents' separation, keep you from attending the graduation. She has most likely matured since then and would like to mend fences. Remember that when you see this girl, and treat her warmly and see what happens.

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced when I was in third grade, and my sister and I lived with my mother. When I was 16, Mom met a man online, quit her job and moved across the country to be with him. My sister and I begged her to let us finish school first, but she was adamant about moving. She gave us a choice -- move with her to another state or move in with our father. We chose the latter.

Since then, my mother has not been a part of my life. She calls occasionally, but never on my birthday or special holidays. I invited her to my wedding, but she didn't attend. When I think of my mother, I associate her with feelings of abandonment and unhappiness.

Mom called me last week, and frankly it was upsetting. I have heard from others how unhappy she is with her life and the choices she made, although she hasn't said it to me directly. I find it painful to hear her say she loves me, because there's a difference between saying it and living it. I have forgiven her, but it doesn't mean I want to sign up for more of that treatment.

Is there a moral obligation to allow her back into my life? I believe you can't help what happens in your childhood, but you can decide how you let it affect you. Or is it OK to stay on the path I have chosen and keep my distance from her? -- MORALLY PERPLEXED IN TEXAS

DEAR PERPLEXED: If a closer relationship with your mother would be dangerous for you emotionally, then you shouldn't risk it. It is not your fault that the life she chose didn't turn out to be a happy one for her. After years of being treated with indifference by her, if you choose to keep your distance, I support your decision.

DEAR ABBY: Perhaps I'm a little old-fashioned, but do you think it's acceptable when having a large wedding and reception to hurry your guests away so a smaller group of intimate family and friends can attend a more exclusive reception? Is this now common among new couples?

I'd gladly attend a single open house or reception in the new couple's honor after their honeymoon, when they wouldn't be so rushed. Your thoughts, please. -- SOMEWHAT OFFENDED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SOMEWHAT OFFENDED: No, it is not a trend. To shoo away one's guests so that a private party can be held afterward is rude. It shows lack of consideration for the feelings of one's guests, and it is very poor manners.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old widower with three grown children. My girlfriend is 53. We dated for several months before she moved in with me. I thought maybe with her living here I might fall in love with her. It has not, and will not, happen.

I hate to break her heart, but I know now that I will never ask her to marry me. I intend to remain single for the rest of my life.

How do I bring closure to this relationship? What are the words? I'm lost because this is a first for me. I was married for 40 years, and I just do not wish to be married again. How do I tell this nice lady? -- IN A BIND IN TEXAS

DEAR IN A BIND: Having the woman move in with you "hoping" you would fall in love with her was a huge mistake, and one you should not repeat. When you say what you need to say, have plenty of tissue handy and expect her to be tearful and angry.

Start by saying, "We need to talk." Tell her she has done nothing wrong, and it is not a failure on her part, but you realize that you do not wish to remarry. Explain that feeling as you do, it would be best if she moved. Offer to help her find a place if she has nowhere to go. You will be doing both of you a favor by being upfront now.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young, recently married woman. My husband and I are at the point where we're thinking about having kids. My brother married a close friend of mine not long after my wedding. My sister-in-law has a medical condition that may prevent her from having children.

I am very close to my brother and his wife, and I can see the writing on the wall. She brought up surrogacy once in passing, as a possible alternative if she can't have kids.

If I'm asked to be the surrogate, what advice do you have? I would be more than willing to consider it, but only after my husband and I have had our own children. Would it be selfish of me to also expect some compensation for my time and the toll it will take on my body? I want to be ready if and when I'm asked. What would be the best way to explain my reasoning to her? -- BACKUP MOM IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR BACKUP MOM: You are an intelligent woman and you are asking good questions. You should explain your thinking to your sister-in-law as you have addressed them in your letter. It would be wise to consult an attorney who specializes in adoption/surrogacy to learn about the laws and procedures that apply in your state.

DEAR ABBY: I am an adult male with a longtime problem. Whether it's a sad or happy occasion, I start crying, sometimes sobbing. I try to avoid any situation that may cause this.

I am at a new point in my life where I can no longer avoid these situations. People think it's not normal. Please don't suggest I live with it. Is there a magic pill to control this? -- BIG CRYBABY IN BROOKLYN, N.Y.

DEAR CRYBABY: There is no pill that can help you control those emotions that I know of. And because it is causing you problems, I do not recommend you "live with it." I do think, however, that if you discuss with a therapist what it is about sad and happy occasions that causes such an extreme reaction that you could get quickly to the bottom of it and learn to better control those emotions.