DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old widower with three grown children. My girlfriend is 53. We dated for several months before she moved in with me. I thought maybe with her living here I might fall in love with her. It has not, and will not, happen.

I hate to break her heart, but I know now that I will never ask her to marry me. I intend to remain single for the rest of my life.

How do I bring closure to this relationship? What are the words? I'm lost because this is a first for me. I was married for 40 years, and I just do not wish to be married again. How do I tell this nice lady? -- IN A BIND IN TEXAS

DEAR IN A BIND: Having the woman move in with you "hoping" you would fall in love with her was a huge mistake, and one you should not repeat. When you say what you need to say, have plenty of tissue handy and expect her to be tearful and angry.

Start by saying, "We need to talk." Tell her she has done nothing wrong, and it is not a failure on her part, but you realize that you do not wish to remarry. Explain that feeling as you do, it would be best if she moved. Offer to help her find a place if she has nowhere to go. You will be doing both of you a favor by being upfront now.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young, recently married woman. My husband and I are at the point where we're thinking about having kids. My brother married a close friend of mine not long after my wedding. My sister-in-law has a medical condition that may prevent her from having children.

I am very close to my brother and his wife, and I can see the writing on the wall. She brought up surrogacy once in passing, as a possible alternative if she can't have kids.

If I'm asked to be the surrogate, what advice do you have? I would be more than willing to consider it, but only after my husband and I have had our own children. Would it be selfish of me to also expect some compensation for my time and the toll it will take on my body? I want to be ready if and when I'm asked. What would be the best way to explain my reasoning to her? -- BACKUP MOM IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR BACKUP MOM: You are an intelligent woman and you are asking good questions. You should explain your thinking to your sister-in-law as you have addressed them in your letter. It would be wise to consult an attorney who specializes in adoption/surrogacy to learn about the laws and procedures that apply in your state.

DEAR ABBY: I am an adult male with a longtime problem. Whether it's a sad or happy occasion, I start crying, sometimes sobbing. I try to avoid any situation that may cause this.

I am at a new point in my life where I can no longer avoid these situations. People think it's not normal. Please don't suggest I live with it. Is there a magic pill to control this? -- BIG CRYBABY IN BROOKLYN, N.Y.

DEAR CRYBABY: There is no pill that can help you control those emotions that I know of. And because it is causing you problems, I do not recommend you "live with it." I do think, however, that if you discuss with a therapist what it is about sad and happy occasions that causes such an extreme reaction that you could get quickly to the bottom of it and learn to better control those emotions.

DEAR ABBY: I do online dating. For safety, I use an alias. I look much younger than my 43 years, so I went out with a 29-year-old who thinks I'm 33. I have horrible luck with relationships and didn't think this one would be any different. Boy, was I wrong! We have been dating three weeks now.

How do I tell him I'm 43, have two kids he doesn't know about and a different name? Or should I just break it off now? -- INCOGNITO IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR INCOGNITO: Do not "just break it off" with no explanation. Tell the man what you told me -- that you have had such poor experiences with online dating that you used an alias, that you "fudged" about your age and that you have children. If it's a turn-off for him, you need to know it before you become more emotionally involved.

P.S. Because many people on dating sites don't tell the whole truth, it's possible he not only won't be shocked but will have a few things to fess up about, too.

DEAR ABBY: My 37-year-old son, "Dave," has two children, a daughter who is 18 and a son who is 10. He's a single parent.

Until she was 15, my granddaughter, "Nicole," was the perfect child. Then she started getting into trouble, stopped going to school, ran away repeatedly and caused our entire family a great deal of stress. She was arrested at 17 for credit card fraud and was caught soliciting.

Dave has decided he never wants to see Nicole again because of her actions. He has given me an ultimatum. Either I have him in my life or I have her, but not both. He doesn't even want me to talk to her on the phone. He says that Nicole "killed a part of him" by doing everything she did, and me talking to her would be like talking to my son's murderer.

Please tell me what you think. I understand how hurt my son is and don't want to hurt him further, but I don't think he should tell me what I can do. -- FLORIDA GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: I agree with you. Your son may have written Nicole off, but he does not have the right to dictate that you must do the same. You may see and speak to whomever you wish, and that includes the granddaughter you obviously love. However, by maintaining contact with her, there may be a steep price to pay, not only because it may estrange you from your son, but also because your granddaughter is a deeply troubled girl.

DEAR ABBY: If you're walking down a hallway with a full plate of hot food and someone who is texting comes around the corner and bumps into you, sending your food to the floor, who should clean up the mess? And should the texter be obliged to reimburse the victim whose lunch was lost? -- SPILL SURVIVOR IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SPILL SURVIVOR: Since you are asking me, I suspect that the person who bumped into you took no responsibility for what happened.

People who perambulate are supposed to watch where they are going. That the texter didn't offer to reimburse you for the meal or at least help clean up the mess shows a distinct lack of class. While the texter should have felt obligated to help, there is no way to "compel" someone to do the right thing.

DEAR ABBY: I am a retired New York City police officer and a resource officer at two high schools in Brooklyn. I must comment on the letter you printed from "Worried About My Boy in Tulsa" (March 29), whose 7-year-old is bullied. If a child hits another child so hard that medical attention is required, it is an assault. The police should have been notified and appropriate law enforcement action taken.

The school then has cause to remove the violent child and have him/her placed in an education program better suited for violent children. The statute of limitations is not out, so the police can still be contacted as soon as possible by this parent. -- JIM C.

DEAR JIM: Many readers pointed out that this incident went beyond bullying into assault, and offered advice to "Worried" on this troubling but prevalent issue. Their comments:

DEAR ABBY: If "Worried's" son is injured at school again, she needs to take him to an emergency room and have the injuries documented. While there, she should call 911 and report the assault to the police. She should start the report with this sentence: "I'd like to report an assault on my child." If she says he is being "bullied," they may not take her as seriously. -- CONCERNED GRAN IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: I am an attorney practicing law in California and have been involved in several bullying cases. The first step should be to ensure the child's safety. If the perpetrators are not being removed from the environment, the child needs to be. The cost of private schooling or the inconvenience of a school transfer would be part of a lawsuit for damages.

Second, the police should be notified. Third, they should get a lawyer who knows how to put the school on notice.

A lawsuit in this case is warranted if the school has known about the bullying but has done nothing about it. -- MIKE IN NEWPORT BEACH

DEAR ABBY: My son was bullied in elementary school. I spoke at length to his teachers and found out that he was exhibiting behaviors that triggered the bullying. He simply did not know how to interact with his peers. It wasn't my son's "fault"; he needed help with social skills.

It took several tries to find a counselor who connected -- a wonderful man who taught him how to be a friend. The bullying stopped. Now my son is graduating from high school with many good friends.

Kids can be cruel. They "smell" weakness and pick on those who are different. Sometimes the best we can do is help our children learn how to draw others to them, rather than be singled out as a victim or undesirable member of the team. -- BEEN THERE IN CHARLESTON, W.Va.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Worried in Tulsa" to call all of her local TV stations and ask for an interview. That will probably get some action. -- LOU ANN W.

DEAR ABBY: My son was bullied during his entire year of kindergarten. That summer we enrolled him in a tae kwon do program. After a few months he was a different person! The confidence and direction he learned were vital. He gained the inner strength to be sure of himself in the face of bullies.

Tae kwon do teaches perseverance, self-control, modesty and indomitable spirit -- qualities from which we can all benefit. I urge "Worried" to look around in her community for a tae kwon do program with an instructor who specializes in teaching this art to children. -- MONTANA MOM