DEAR ABBY: Would you please remind your many readers that the greatest gift we can give to America's fallen is the gift of remembrance? The legacy of those who have died for our freedom -- from the Revolutionary War to the present -- is something that strengthens and unites Americans. I would like every child to say, "I know why I am free, and I know who died for my freedom."

Since 1997, Major League Baseball has stopped all games in progress at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day to observe the National Moment of Remembrance. The umpire steps out from home plate, removes his mask, and halts the game so that everyone can pause. The crowd rises as one with hands over their hearts. Along with MLB, the Ironworkers, Sheet Metal Workers and firefighters unions, American Veterans Center, the National Cartoonists Society and Bugles Across America observe the Moment, too.

The Moment does not replace traditional Memorial Day events. It is not an "event" but an act of conscience. Throughout our history, and especially during the past decade, servicemen and women in foreign lands have been dying almost daily to protect freedom and liberty.

We encourage all citizens to make every day Memorial Day in their hearts, but especially on Memorial Day itself. May the love of country always bond Americans together. For all of the fallen, let us continue to make this nation one great American family in spirit. To learn more, please go to www.ngl.org. -- CARMELLA LaSPADA, FOUNDER, NO GREATER LOVE

DEAR CARMELLA: I'm printing your reminder in advance of Memorial Day so that readers can plan ahead for it. I know many of them will be interested in observing it.

Readers, wherever you are at 3 p.m. local time on Monday, May 28, won't you join me in pausing for the National Moment of Remembrance and honoring those brave individuals who died for us? And when you do, make a commitment to give back to our country in their memory by putting your remembrance into action.

DEAR ABBY: My parents were married 25 years. When Dad died last year, Mom was devastated. Then she got in touch with an old flame. She told us they were just friends. A few months later, she informed us she was moving across the country with him for a "mutually beneficial situation." He gives her a place to stay, and she takes care of his house and the bills. She called recently to tell me that she has loved him since she was young and they are now getting married.

I'm worried because she has jumped into this so quickly. When they marry, Dad will have been gone not quite a year. I feel she is showing lack of respect for my father's memory and their marriage by doing this so soon. Should I be worried about her, or just happy she has found "love" again? -- DREADING THE WEDDING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DREADING THE WEDDING: While the man your mother is marrying is a stranger to you, he is obviously no stranger to her. They have a history that pre-dates your father. Going on with her life is not disrespectful to your father's memory. Be happy for your mother and cross your fingers that everything works out for her the way she wishes. Worrying about her will help neither of you.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Ruth" and I spent most holidays dining out together after our families grew up and left home. Ruth died last year and her daughter "Lara" began inviting me for holidays "so I wouldn't be alone." I have tried to decline, but she persists. She insists that I should be with her instead of with friends, although her plans are always tentative and often change at the last minute.

Last Christmas she invited me to a community holiday dinner at 2 p.m. with her friends. At the last minute she called to say we'd be dining at her house in the evening instead, which meant I spent the entire day alone doing nothing. The dinner was grim because they were arguing.

At Easter, Lara called saying plans were "up in the air." At noon on Easter day, she called to say her husband's sister was visiting and they planned to hike in the state park and have a picnic -- something that I physically cannot do. She said they planned to have dinner for me "sometime soon." So, once again, I spent the holiday alone.

Should I call Lara and tell her exactly how I feel, or just write a script for the next time she calls? -- HAD IT IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR HAD IT: If you'd prefer to spend the holidays with friends instead of being reminded of sad memories and feeling obligated, you should decline Lara's future invitations. If your niece pressures you, explain that you have already made plans with friends.

Although her heart may be in the right place, from your description of your niece's social skills, they leave much to be desired. Do not allow her to make you feel guilty and change your mind. Your feelings are valid.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 45-year-old single male with a job I enjoy. Last June, a cousin who is close to my age married for the second time. He married a girl 20 years younger whom he had known less than six months.

Although I was unable to attend the wedding, I sent them a nice card with a generous cash gift. I never received a thank-you note for it and although I was offended, I overlooked their rudeness.

Six weeks later, my cousin's new bride called my place of employment and left an "emergency" message to phone her. (She left a second one with a neighbor of mine.) Very worried and not knowing what to expect, I called her immediately.

The "emergency" turned out to be a request for a loan of $500. I was angry but tried not to show it. After thinking about it, I agreed to the loan, although my cousin's wife had hinted that I should give them a larger amount. We agreed on a repayment plan.

I had misgivings about helping them, but somehow my aunt -- my cousin's mother -- became involved. She kept insisting I lend them the money. (They were living with her at the time.)

It has been more than eight months and they have made no effort to pay me back. To make matters worse, they avoid me. My aunt acts as though it's all right for them to treat me this way. I am angry, hurt and feel my trust has been betrayed. What do you think I should do now? -- USED IN MISSOURI

DEAR USED: I think you should write off the loan and thank your lucky stars that you weren't conned into giving this deadbeat couple more money. If you are asked for more -- which isn't out of the realm of possibility -- you can now say, "No, because you didn't repay the first loan I gave you." Think about it. You may have gotten off cheap.

DEAR ABBY: From time to time I have read letters in your column about Peeping Toms. You might find our experience interesting.

Many years ago, soon after my husband, Klaus, and I arrived as newlyweds from Germany, we rented a small bungalow in L.A. There were seven of them in two rows behind our landlord's large home in the front.

Between our little house and our next-door neighbor's was a brick patio that extended from our bedroom window to her back door. Not long after we moved in, the woman began looking into our bedroom window on weekend mornings, pressing her nose against the glass. Because we were guests in this country, we didn't want to say anything, but we knew we needed to stop her.

My husband came up with the perfect solution. He placed a large mirror in the window frame. Sure enough, the weekend came and she peered into our window. Seeing her face reflected back, she dashed into her house and never looked again. -- LILO IN COSTA MESA

DEAR LILO: I like your husband's style. Your neighbor may not have gotten the thrill she was seeking, but she sure enough got the message.

DEAR ABBY: There is a segment of the population that I have not seen you address. It's the many women whose dreams of marriage and children never came true.

Society gives so much attention to women who are pregnant and have children. It is very difficult for us to hear people brag on and on about their children and pass around their pictures.

People need to develop sensitivity for those like me, who prayed 25 years for marriage and children, but who didn't get this "gift from God." -- ALONE IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR ALONE: Parents bragging about their children and showing off pictures are natural reactions to having offspring. It is not meant to punish the childless.

There are thousands of children who desperately need the attention and affection you long to bestow, so please consider becoming an adoptive or foster parent, or volunteer with an organization such as Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America. The website is www.bbbs.org. Join the ranks and you, too, can experience the joys of rearing children and bragging as you show off your pictures.

DEAR ABBY: I am a freshman in college. I would like to transfer to a college that two of my best friends from high school attend, and also change my planned major. We have been friends since seventh grade, and we would like to rent a house over the summer and remain in it during the next school year.

My problem is my father. Daddy insists that I shouldn't live with my high school friends. He says I should concentrate on making new friends and see my old ones less often. He is making it sound like if I don't do what he wants, that I'll mess up my entire future.

Am I wrong here? Would living with my friends be that horrible? -- MIXED UP IN NEW YORK

DEAR MIXED UP: Your father may be concerned that you and your friends will be distracted and not apply yourselves fully to your studies if you share a house together. Although many first-year students change their planned majors, changing schools as well as your major and moving in with your friends may appear to your father as a retreat from adult responsibilities. The question you must answer is: Does he have cause to be concerned about your motives or your study habits?