DEAR ABBY: I agreed to be maid of honor at my best friend's wedding. I am now planning her bridal shower and just received the guest list from her mother and the groom's mother, "Alicia."
Alicia has given me the names of about 30 guests and says there are more people she wants to invite. Abby, the entire list will amount to nearly 70 guests!
I thought showers were supposed to be for close friends and family only. Would it be out of line to suggest to Alicia that if she wants to invite that many people, she should give a separate shower? -- OVERWHELMED IN NEW YORK
DEAR OVERWHELMED: You and the groom's mother are not on the same wavelength. She may be trying to repay social obligations, while you are simply trying to perform your attendant's duties.
Because Alicia is so insensitive, you must tell her firmly the maximum number of guests you can accommodate at the shower. It would not be out of line to suggest that she ask one of her friends to also host one. If she insists on inviting everybody to your shower, ask her to share the expenses with you. (Remember, bridal showers are usually hosted by attendants, friends or relatives of the bride, but not members of her or her fiance's immediate families.)