DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and have a dear friend, "Emily," who is offended by cussing. She literally has never said a curse word in her life. When I'm around her I never use swear words because I respect her and her friendship.

My issue is that Emily gets very upset if people swear around her. There have been nights that she ended up in tears because someone used foul language. She also angrily confronts people on this issue.

I commend my friend on her decision not to curse, but I think it's unrealistic of her to expect everyone in the world to bend to her morals. I also think it's wrong for her to try to force them. Abby, what are your thoughts? -- CHALLENGED FRIEND IN LARAMIE, WYO.

DEAR CHALLENGED: If Emily prefers not to be in the company of people who use four-letter words, that's her privilege. And if she finds it offensive, she has a right to speak up and make it known. But to "wind up in tears" because someone used foul language -- as long as it wasn't directed toward her -- is overreacting. And for her to angrily confront someone about it would only invite more of the same. Emily will be much happier if she spends more time in the company of people who feel as she does.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Gina," is engaged but hasn't started making any plans yet. We have had some rough mother/daughter years but are now in a good place. When it's time, I would like my daughter to ask me to help her pick out her wedding gown. I have a strong hunch that Gina will ask a girlfriend instead. I also know that if I talk to her about my wishes, she'll say, "Sure" or ask me to join her friends. This may seem silly, but I want her to want just me to go. What do you think is the best way to handle this? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

DEAR MOTHER: Your relationship with your daughter may be better now, but its pattern was established years ago. You appear to be extremely invested in an "ideal" of how her wedding will be. For your own sake, lower your expectations. You can't make somebody want something if it doesn't come naturally. Because Gina isn't a mind reader, speak up now for that exclusive mother/daughter shopping jaunt. If she likes your fashion sense, she may agree. However, it is not unusual for a bride to include not only her mother, but also her attendants and future mother-in-law when choosing her wedding dress.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend bought his house two years ago. We were fortunate to have found such a darling little place. It was owned by only one woman since it was built in the 1950s. She is now deceased, and we have no way of contacting anyone in her family.

For the last two years my boyfriend has received greeting cards from an old friend of the former owner. What should we do about the greeting cards? I feel terrible that he doesn't know the woman who lived here is no longer with us. -- STEPHANIE IN URBANA, ILL.

DEAR STEPHANIE: I know you and your boyfriend have the best of intentions, but according to the post office, whether there is a return address on the envelope or not, you should write "deceased" on the envelope and let the Postal Service handle the matter.

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced man with a live-in girlfriend I'll call Donna. Her two boys also live with us. Donna's older son will graduate from high school this year, and she has planned a party that her mother and other family members will attend from out of state.

My daughter, "Sara," is graduating from the same high school. Sara has shared her concerns with me that Donna's family won't care about celebrating her graduation. I tried to assure her that it's my day to celebrate her accomplishment with her.

I discussed this with Donna and asked if we could recognize Sara at her son's party. Donna refused because my ex is having a party for Sara, and her son would be an invited guest but not the celebrated graduate there.

I say it's a different scenario because I'm Sara's father and if I were remarried, we'd celebrate the step-sibling graduation together. Donna then told me she has some issues with the way Sara behaves at times. I feel this has given me an insight that I don't like. How should I handle this upcoming graduation and other important issues? -- MIXED FEELINGS IN MISSOURI

DEAR MIXED FEELINGS: Handle the graduation and other important issues by keeping them separate. While it would be generous for Sara to be acknowledged at Donna's son's party, it isn't mandatory -- and I'm sure the reverse isn't planned for the party your ex is hosting for Sara.

What the circumstances "would be" if you and Donna were married instead of living together is irrelevant because you are not married and the graduates are not step-siblings. However, this does point up that Donna has not warmed to Sara as much as she might have and you might wish she had. And, because it could be a deal-breaker, this is an issue that should be examined carefully in the very near future.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl. I love my mother, but she puts very little effort into how she looks. She has been divorced since I was a baby and hasn't dated much. When it comes to how we dress, we are complete opposites. I like to put on real clothes, even if I'm accompanying my mom to the grocery store. She goes out wearing sweats and no bra.

Sometimes I try to help her by picking out her outfits for the week, but she gets mad when I say anything about her no-bra rule. She says I'm trying to pressure her to be someone she's not. Maybe I am, but I want her to meet people and go on dates. It feels like she has no pride in what she looks like. I care about her, but I can't help but see that she could improve. -- DOTING DAUGHTER IN MARYLAND

DEAR DOTING DAUGHTER: We could all "improve," but if your mother is comfortable with herself as she is, you should try to accept her that way. Many women find bras uncomfortable, and if they don't have to wear them they don't -- especially when wearing loose sweatshirts.

Your mother appears to be happy with her circumstances. When she's ready to try to attract male attention, she will. You are sweet to want to help her, but trying to manipulate her isn't working, so for both your sakes, cut it out.

DEAR ABBY: "Searching for 'Me' in Texas" (March 4) is not alone! A wave of 78 million baby boomers will soon leave 30-plus-year careers and are looking forward to an estimated 20 more years of life.

A vast majority of them are looking for meaningful opportunities for the second half of their lives. "Searching" should seek out a non-profit organization for a cause she's passionate about and offer her skilled services. If "Searching" doesn't need an income, she can volunteer.

Finally, instead of seeking a graduate degree, she could look at her local community college and find non-credit classes that interest her and participate without the pressure of credited course work. -- STEPHANIE IN PHOENIX

DEAR STEPHANIE: Your suggestions are all good ones. Second careers are becoming more common, and there are many opportunities for seniors to enjoy their "encore careers." Read on for more options:

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Searching" was dead-on. After a 30-year career in the insurance industry, I was forced into early retirement by a corporate buyout. At 59, I was stunned and unprepared. After some soul searching, I decided I wasn't done with life. I started reading, talking to friends and praying.

There were some false starts. I tried out for the Peace Corps but backed out. I got into an income tax class that was over my head. Then I got another insurance job and found myself back in the rat race.

I made ends meet by substitute teaching and began to realize that, eons ago, I had wanted to be a teacher. (I had been talked out of it.) So I started back to college for my master's degree in teaching.

Talk about scared! It had been 33 years since I had seen the inside of a classroom. But my experience was one of the most challenging, positive and enriching I have ever known. I met wonderful people along the way and was admired for my life experience, insight and work ethic. It wasn't all sweetness and light, but if I had to do it over again I'd do it in a minute. -- CATHERINE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: "Searching" might consider volunteering with SCORE -- Service Corps of Retired Executives. Her skills are needed and would be appreciated. That way she can dabble in her old work and have a sense of accomplishment. -- CHARLES IN MARYLAND

DEAR ABBY: As a volunteer coordinator at a large non-profit, I have many volunteers who discovered us as a result of a retirement search. The AARP's volunteer engagement site is www.createthegood.org, and www.volunteermatch.org is a nationwide site for searching volunteer opportunities.

"Searching" needs to think about things she would like to do but couldn't while working, and dip her toe in the water. If she tries something and it isn't a fit, she has no obligation and can try another. It may lead to a paid "encore" career or fulfill her through volunteerism. -- JAN IN YARDLEY, PA.

DEAR ABBY: When I retired at 62, I decided to return to school for a graduate philosophy degree. My body may be weaker, but I like to think most of my mental faculties are intact. My first resume may generate humor, but I'll bring something to the classroom that may prove invaluable. That's 40 years of experience and 63 years of 20-20 hindsight.

I will call it a good day if I can communicate to any student that learning is fun and education has intrinsic value. -- CALVERT IN NORTH CAROLINA