DEAR ABBY: On a recent airline flight, a tall man who sat behind me had his left leg out in the aisle during most of the trip. He was wearing shorts, and you could see his large tattoo of a naked woman on his thigh. The drawing was very explicit, and there was no way to avoid seeing it because passengers had to cross over his leg to reach the bathroom.

How do you explain this kind of "art" to children? Would the airline have the right to ask him to cover the tattoo if it was objectionable? -- OFFENDED TRAVELER FROM NEW YORK

DEAR OFFENDED: Because body art could be classified as freedom of expression, I'm not sure they do. However, someone's leg protruding into the aisle might be considered a safety issue because it could cause a trip and fall. It would also impede food and beverage carts traveling up and down the aisle. Because you were offended, I hope you averted your gaze if you needed to make more than one trip to the lavatory, and if there were children in tow, that you didn't call their attention to the "picture."

DEAR ABBY: I had an urgent piece of mail to get to the post office. My sister called the postmistress, who agreed to stay open for her to deliver it. In the meantime, I found two other pieces of mail that required checks, quickly wrote them out and gave the three envelopes to my sister, who rushed them to the post office.

Upon her return, she showed me her vehicle, which had a deep gash running along one side because she had backed down the driveway too quickly, not paying attention, and had scraped the car against the stone post. She thinks I should pay half the cost of repair because "I was involved."

I think it was her carelessness, and therefore, I should not have to pay. I'm not angry, just confused by her reasoning because the same thing happened to me when I ran an errand for her, but I paid on my own for my carelessness. What do you think? -- THINKS DIFFERENTLY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR THINKS DIFFERENTLY: I think you should remind your sister that when the same thing happened to you while running an errand for her, you assumed the responsibility for paying for it. For her to say that you were "involved" is stretching the truth. She's trying to guilt you into paying. Stand your ground.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year~old female junior in college. I am intelligent, attractive and friendly, and I want to remain a virgin until I'm married. This is not because of religious reasons. I have had a few relationships I thought were serious, but I ended up getting dumped for a "looser" girl each time, which really hurts.

My family and friends don't understand that waiting until marriage is part of who I am. Ironically, I was raised to think this was proper, but once I reached a certain age, everyone seemed to change their minds.

I'm not looking to get married for at least five years, which means a long wait for anyone who wants to date me. Am I going to be alone forever just because I won't jump into bed with a guy before we're married? -- PRINCIPLED IN ANN ARBOR, MICH.

DEAR PRINCIPLED: Not quite forever. I admire you for adhering to your values and so will the man who marries you.

ON DRIVE-THROUGH DECORUM

DEAR ABBY: May I comment on the letter from "Working the Window in Georgia" (Jan. 22), the drive-through worker who said people should have their orders ready when they pull up to the speaker? Many drive-through restaurants place their speakers in FRONT of the first menu you see. Unless you frequent the restaurant, it's impossible to know what you want until you reach the menu. Also, if "Corporate" is timing its employees, then maybe they should dispense with having the employees greet customers with a long list of item suggestions before taking the order. Those of us at the other end of the speaker often cannot understand a word being said, either because the speaker isn't working properly, because the order-taker has a thick accent, or the person is speaking too fast. -- PEGGY IN THORNTON, COLORADO

DEAR PEGGY: My readers agree with you 100 percent! Their biggest "beef" is the order menu being located only at the order window/speaker. Fast food corporate America, please take notice. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: How are we supposed to have any idea of what to order when we don't see the menu until we pull up to the window? This is especially true when I try a new restaurant. If restaurants post anything before that, it is usually just a list of their most expensive combo meals. Sometimes the prices aren't even listed at the preview menu window.

Here are some suggestions for people working the windows:

1. I may not know your menu. So please give me a chance to look it over. If you have a drive-through, I have a right to use it. If you don't want new customers to know what you offer, then I'll be happy to take my business elsewhere.

2. I know you are reading from a script, but if I don't want a combo meal, please do not ask me repeatedly if I want one.

3. Give me a chance to check my order when you hand it to me. I am really tired of getting to my destination only to find out my order is wrong.

4. Do not argue with me if I want to verify that my drink is a diet drink. I am diabetic and a non-diet soda could make me very sick.

5. Please understand that even if I don't have the radio on and there is no background noise, I may still have trouble understanding you. Perhaps the speakers are bad or I am slightly hearing-impaired.

6. Please give me straw if I order a drink.

I have worked fast food before and I know from experience it is not an easy job. Yes, there are rude customers, but there are also rude employees. I know that from experience, too. -- LIBBY IN LITTLE ROCK, ARK.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I attended his nephew's out-of-state wedding. I shipped a beautiful, expensive set of porcelain dishes from a high-end designer store. The nephew commented, "Those dishes don't go with anything we have." Should we request they be returned or ignore their lack of appreciation? -- APPALLED AUNT IN ARIZONA

DEAR APPALLED: Your nephew's comment was extremely rude. If he and his bride weren't registered, and their preference of a china pattern wasn't clearly stated, then you did the best you could under the circumstances and were generous. Rather than ask for the gift back (which would be equally rude), suggest he and his Mrs. go online and exchange the dishes for a pattern of their choice. Most high-end stores have websites that display their inventory.

DEAR ABBY: My 11-year-old niece, "Nina," has no table manners. I was surprised at her inappropriate behavior because her parents are well-educated people who were raised with good table manners.

I didn't say anything when Nina slathered clotted cream on her scone with her fingers, but I was disgusted. I did suggest she use a spoon after she scooped rice out of a communal bowl with her hand. Both of these incidents happened in restaurants.

Is there anything I can do when I must eat with this child? I know it may have been wrong of me to correct Nina in front of her mother, but we were all eating from the same bowl. Should I ignore her ignorance of basic table manners and keep my mouth shut? -- LOST MY APPETITE IN HOUSTON

DEAR LOST YOUR APPETITE: By age 11, children should have mastered basic table manners. (Not eating with one's fingers is one of the basics.) Is your niece learning-disabled? If the answer is no, you should discuss this with your sibling. Nina is at an age when she needs to know what's expected of her when she's out in public.

DEAR ABBY: My son came out of the closet last year. My first reaction was to tell him it was OK. (I had already suspected that he was.) I love him dearly and we're a close family. His brothers and sisters also accept and love him.

My husband and I are now struggling because we're not sure how God really views gays and lesbians. To listen to some religious people, my son will go to hell. I can't believe that God would create a person to be this way, then turn His back on him.

I tried reading the Bible, but the wording was hard to understand. I don't want to talk to my pastor about it because, even though I have accepted my son for who he is, I still have trouble talking to people about it because I'm not sure how they'll react. Do you believe a gay person will go to heaven? -- SOMEWHERE IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR SOMEWHERE: I believe that entrance to heaven is based upon a person's character, not his or her sexual orientation. Today, because of modern scientific studies, we know more about homosexuality than was known when the Bible was written, and that sexual orientation is not a "choice."

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter keeps hinting that we should give her money for her in vitro fertilization. We have concerns based on many issues, but the bottom line is we're not sure if she can handle motherhood.

Our daughter's marriage is shaky, and she struggles with many of her relationships and commitments in life. She is basically disabled by anxiety. Not only do we believe we should stay out of this, but we also think they can afford the procedure themselves. We would be happy for them if they had a child, but we prefer to avoid the money connection. What do you think? -- UNDECIDED IN MISSOURI

DEAR UNDECIDED: If you give your daughter money, it would be better spent on counseling and medication to help her overcome her anxiety disorder. A baby will not fix a shaky marriage, and could very well complicate it. Because your daughter and her husband can afford to pay for it themselves, they should not be hitting you up to fund the endeavor.