DEAR ABBY: My mother has never liked her sister-in-law. Mom thinks "Auntie Beth" is "completely out to get her," even though no one has seen any evidence to support my mother's claims.

For the past several months, Mom has been complaining nonstop about how "awful" Beth is. She says things at the most random times to people she barely knows. If we don't show sympathy toward Mom, she then becomes enraged. It has caused many problems between our family and Auntie Beth's. We can't have holidays together because my aunt is not allowed in our house. No one wants to be involved in the drama or to participate in the terrible gossip.

How can I help my mother understand the harm she is causing and get our family back together? -- SICK OF THE DRAMA

DEAR SICK OF THE DRAMA: Your mother's behavior appears to have escalated from disliking Aunt Beth to obsessive and paranoid. If it is time for her annual physical, her doctor should be told about it because her behavior is not normal and she may need a neurological exam or counseling.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about this, because if you try, she may think that you are "against" her, too. But the rest of the family can refuse to allow her to exclude Aunt Beth by not accepting invitations in which she is not included.

DEAR ABBY: I have started a relationship and am falling in love. I have known "Willa" for a few years, but we never really hung out before this. We see eye-to-eye on lots of things. However, the other night she told me she'd had a past relationship with her best guy friend, "Mike," whom she refers to as a "big brother." I have known him for a year.

Mike is someone I hang out with. Their fling was eight years ago. Willa also hinted there may be other mutual friends she has had relations with before me. I don't care who she's been with, but I feel I should know which ones we socialize with. And I'd rather hear it from her than find out from a friend. Willa says it isn't her place to spread other people's business. What do you think? -- WANTS ANSWERS

DEAR WANTS ANSWERS: Unless Willa intended to make a full disclosure, she shouldn't have teased you by making you curious. Obviously, you do care about whom she has been with, so now you need to be honest with yourself about why. Would you prefer not to socialize with the men with whom she has had past relationships? Because she has clammed up, perhaps you should assume that she has been with all of the men she has introduced you to. The question you need to ask yourself is whether you can put her past aside and focus instead on building a future with her.

DEAR ABBY: I am curious to learn what your readers do when they receive a gift card for a place where they don't shop or eat. Some restaurants are located far from where I live, and some stores don't carry anything I need or want. -- GRATEFUL, BUT ... IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR GRATEFUL, BUT: I'm printing your letter, but I am sure most of my readers would do what I would do and that is re-gift it to someone who would appreciate it and use it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a baby shower for a dear high school friend and his wife. The day after the shower, she posted a slideshow on Facebook titled "Thanks for All Our Gifts" with a picture of each gift and who gave it. She has had numerous miscarriages and held this shower at five months, knowing the baby is not yet at a viable stage.

While I feel sympathy for her fertility issues, and especially for her husband who desperately wants to be a father, I think this is a bid for attention. I am disgusted at how she seems to be bragging about her haul, yet prepping everyone to give her an outpouring of support if there is another tragic loss.

Who does this? I am ... SPEECHLESS IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Most baby showers are given four to six weeks before the mother's due date. However, it's possible that your friend's wife had hers at five months because, with her history of miscarriages, she's excited that her pregnancy seems to be progressing well and she's thinking positively about the outcome. I hope it works out well and so should you.

As to her method of thanking everyone for the gifts, she may never have been taught that individual thank-you notes should have been sent to each guest. Because it is clear that you are closer to the husband than the wife, perhaps you should tip him off that it's still not too late for them to do the right thing and suggest he help her with them.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced from my wife for almost a year, with another year of separation preceding that. We divorced because of arguments, not because of abuse, adultery or substance abuse issues. The divorce actually seemed to take on a life of its own.

Because I have a small son with her, I desperately want to attempt a reconciliation. She is reticent about it, however, mainly because I believe she's getting pressure from her family. How can I persuade her to go out with me so we can rekindle the spark we once shared? -- MISSING MY OLD LIFE

DEAR MISSING: Before a couple can successfully reconcile, they must first resolve the problems that caused the separation in the first place. That would be the way to begin. However, are you aware that not once in your letter did you say that you still love your ex-wife? If the reason you want to "rekindle the spark" is that you miss being with your child and the comforts of being married -- but not her -- then I don't think you have much chance of success.

DEAR ABBY: My child's best friend has a parent who is constantly late (to the tune of hours, not minutes). I understand that the child is not at fault, but my child's feelings are hurt by the blatant disregard of the other parent's tardiness. How do I help this parent (whom I adore otherwise) to understand that disappointing my child through poor time management is not acceptable to our family without hurting both children? -- WATCHING THE CLOCK

DEAR CLOCK WATCHER: If you haven't told the parent that it is hurtful when your child is kept waiting for hours for a play date, you should. And if that doesn't bring the desired result, your child should be encouraged to move on to some other activity and/or another companion.

DEAR ABBY: "Modern Dad in Roswell, Ga." (Feb. 26) was put off that invitations to his young daughters are sent to his ex-wife's home rather than to both his and the ex-wife's. He assumes the sender is "sexist" and suggests the solution for children with two households is to be sent two invitations.

As a parent who invites children to my home or to a party, I don't feel I should be responsible for their parents' communication difficulty. Often I am not even aware that a child has two households. The invitation simply goes home with the child to wherever he or she is that day.

Personally, I think "Modern Dad" is overly sensitive. He needs to realize that no one is deliberately snubbing him or making assumptions about parental roles. They are just inviting his kids to things, for which he should be grateful. Did he share his address with the inviter? Does he make his preference clear to parents when meeting them?

I believe it's presumptuous to expect someone to send two invitations to the same child. And I agree with you, Abby, that "Dad" needs to improve communication with his ex-wife so he no longer feels he is being prevented from being an "active parent." -- REGULAR MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR REGULAR MOM: A majority of readers agreed that more sharing of information between the girls' mother and "Dad" will solve his problem. Other parents' comments:

DEAR ABBY: Friends, acquaintances and professionals should not have to go out of their way to cover all the bases. Given the number of divorced, remarried and otherwise situated families, more than a single contact point becomes burdensome for those trying to complete business or issue simple invitations.

My guess is, even though the girls stay with Dad, he doesn't have relationships with most of their friends' parents. Unless he cultivates these connections (with the mothers, most likely), it is improbable that he will be added to the contact list. -- CHALLENGED, TOO, IN SEVERNA PARK, MD.

DEAR ABBY: I know from organizing school activities that often only one parent supplies an email address to the school, and it's usually the mom. If "Modern Dad's" ex-wife would cooperate by sending him a list of email addresses of those most likely to issue invites, he could send out a polite message sharing his contact information with those other parents. Also, if he reaches out to help arrange carpools or organize social outings -- which is usually a "mom" job -- he'll become an added member of "the group." -- NON-SEXIST MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: Our solution to this problem was to use an online computer calendar for the kids' events. That way, regardless of which parent gets the invite, it can be posted on the calendar with the appropriate details. (Privacy settings can be set so the calendar is not viewable to the general public.) -- FLORIDA FATHER

DEAR ABBY: My son's school sends out a parent directory that includes both my and my ex-husband's email addresses. I receive a lot of information, including invitations by email, and always see my ex's address included on everything as well. Not having to remind him about parties and school events has taken a huge load off my shoulders. Maybe "Dad" can suggest his daughters' school start a parental email list and make sure his information stays updated. -- INVOLVED TEXAS MAMA