DEAR ABBY: My friend "Veronica" is obsessed with food -- not just eating it, but also talking about it, looking at it and watching me eat. She frequently asks me what I'm eating, especially if it's something I have made. I can't open a container of yogurt without her asking what flavor it is.

On a daily basis, Veronica announces what she's making for dinner that night, what she made the night before and what kind of desserts she has planned. I used to share my food with her, but I stopped when she wanted bites I didn't offer. I had to stop buying from the vending machine at work, too, because Veronica began to expect to share. When I refused, she'd make "joking" snide remarks. She never has any money to return the favors.

Veronica will tap her cup on the table and watch me out of the corner of her eye. Or, she'll stare at what I'm eating. If anyone at the table has extra food or dessert, Veronica will be the first to take it. She could tell you what all five women at that table had for lunch that day, but she's particularly interested in mine.

Veronica is a good cook and she's not overweight. But she's driving me crazy. Is her obsession some kind of disorder? -- FOOD-SHY IN OHIO

DEAR FOOD-SHY: Your friend does seem to be preoccupied with food. From your description of her behavior it's surprising that she doesn't have a weight problem. Yet you say she makes dinners and desserts every night.

Could it be that she doesn't eat breakfast or lunch, which is why she's mooching off the others? Or could she be short of money? While I agree that what you have described could be signs of an obsession, it is possible that the woman is famished.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and a high school graduate. My best friend was raped a year ago. It took her a long time to be able to tell me, and although I begged her to tell, she would not go to the authorities. She has heard stories from other girls and has reason to believe the same boy has raped them, too.

I believe if she came forward, the other girls might speak up. Then he won't be able to continue to do this to other girls. But I can't change her mind.

Is there something I can do? Can I go to the police and tell them what she told me? Should I talk to a lawyer? I don't want to see her regret not doing something. She's very fragile and this is so hard for her. She has told very few people. Please tell me how to help her. I don't know what to do. -- WISH I COULD DO MORE, BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR WISH: The most helpful thing you can do is encourage your friend to contact a rape treatment center. Although the rape occurred a year ago, she can still benefit from counseling to help her recover from the trauma. If she is reluctant to go, then give her the phone number of the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (R.A.I.N.N.). It's 800-656-4673. A counselor there may be able to help her find the help she needs.

However, she needs to do this for herself. As well-meaning as you are, you can't do it for her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm confused about the protocol in thanking or repaying someone after staying several nights at their home. My feeling is, if you're staying with people, the nicest way to thank them for their hospitality is to pay for most, if not all, the lunches and dinners you share with them when you dine out. That way, you lessen the monetary burden of your visit, and it gives you a chance to say "thank you" for the use of their home.

Some visitors seem to think that when they come to your home, you should not only put them up, but also pay for all their activities while you show them your town. What is correct? Or is it a matter of preference? -- VISITING FROM PHOENIX

DEAR VISITING: According to Emily Post, when a guest stays overnight, a nice bottle of wine would be a proper gift if you know your hosts drink and their preference. If there are children in the household, a game they can all enjoy or candy might be nice. If you will be staying longer, she suggests a picture frame with a photo taken during your visit sent afterward, a houseplant in a decorative pot, hand towels or beach towels.

And I agree with you that treating your host(s) to a nice dinner during your visit would be gracious and thoughtful.

DEAR ABBY: One of my best supervisors is in a same-sex relationship. She and her partner are raising three wonderful children from previous marriages. I have introduced them to my husband at the office as well as work-related social events. He says he "hates" them because he believes their relationship broke up their marriages and it's wrong to raise their children this way.

When he encounters them he refuses to acknowledge them and will snarl when near them. Neither of them have done anything to deserve this treatment, and it makes me embarrassed and ashamed of him. I've tried to reason with him -- nothing works. I told him flat out he can have his opinions, but I expect him to treat them with respect.

I'm to the point where I have to attend work-related functions alone and not allow him to come to my office. That's one solution, but I'm still upset about his attitude in general. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- UPSET IN TEXAS

DEAR UPSET: I suspect that your husband's reason for "hating" your supervisor has less to do with the fact that she and her partner ended their marriages, and more to do with knee-jerk homophobia. Children who are raised in happy homes do better than those who are raised in a household filled with unresolved tension. I can't change your husband's attitude, and neither can you. Only he can do that, but enlightenment isn't likely to be achieved until he recognizes a need for it.

P.S. His manners are atrocious, and you're right to keep him apart from your work environment.

DEAR ABBY: Due to a health problem that caused some of my hair to break and fall out, I have recently begun wearing a wig. At a social function a woman who was not a friend of mine approached me and asked if I was wearing a hairpiece. How could I respond to such a rude question without admitting that I am wearing a wig? -- STUMPED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR STUMPED: Try this: "I'll forgive you for asking that question if you'll forgive me for not answering."

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl and I want to become famous. My mom says that's not a real job. I was in magazines when I was little, but now that I'm older, I want to be a singer or actress. What should I do? -- HEADING FOR FAME IN OHIO

DEAR HEADING: Listen to your mother. Fame, if one can achieve it, is usually accomplished after years of planning and hard work. If there is community theater in your area, volunteer and become involved. Plan to study music, drama and speech -- as well as another subject so you can support yourself if it takes awhile for you to become famous. (This is called "Plan B.")

There's an old saying: "Luck" happens at the intersection of opportunity and preparation. The trick is to be there at the right time.

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away four years ago. Right after his funeral I found a bottle of Viagra hidden in the trunk of his car. My sister and I agreed that we should keep it to ourselves and not tell my mother, but Mom and I are extremely close and I feel guilty keeping this secret.

My father had multiple affairs while he was married to Mom, so it wouldn't surprise me if he was cheating on her. Because of conversations that I have had with her, I am 100 percent sure she didn't know he was using Viagra. My mother remarried two years ago. Does she have the right to know, or should my sister and I take it to our graves? -- TWO SISTERS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SISTERS: Your father's time on earth is over. Your mother is happily (I hope) remarried and has gone on with her life. I see no reason to revisit your father's probable indiscretions at this late date. It's time to let him and this subject rest in peace.

DEAR ABBY: I love my husband dearly, but I have a problem. He talks too much. I'll give you an example: Instead of saying I'd had surgery, he told people I'd had surgery because when I laughed I would wet my pants, so they had to go in and re-suspend my bladder. I could hardly believe my ears.

The latest is, he posted something on Facebook about a family member that was also very personal. I have asked him many times to keep details between us, but it does no good. What can I say to him to get this point across? I'm at a loss. -- FRUSTRATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FRUSTRATED: It's not what you should say to him, it's what you should not say. Because your husband lacks judgment, be careful about sharing sensitive information with him and warn your relatives to do the same.

DEAR ABBY: I have a message for seniors and others who live alone: You need a friend or neighbor to keep in touch with you. Recently at the condo complex where I live, someone complained to the management office about a dog that wouldn't stop barking. When there was no answer on the phone or at the door, they went in. The woman had died and no one knew but her dog.

Our single neighbors now make a point of keeping in touch, if only to say hello and let us know they're OK. -- CONNECTED IN PALM COURT, FLA.

DEAR CONNECTED: That's good advice -- because the sad circumstance you described happens more often than most people would think. A similar thing also occurred in a condominium development where I lived. A word to the wise ...