DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 19 years, but I cannot stay faithful to my wife. I've had a few affairs, visit "massage parlors" on a regular basis and feel my wife deserves better. I want to walk away from our marriage.
We have kids who will be affected, and it will hurt us financially, but I don't feel right staying in a marriage I can't be faithful to. I haven't told my wife about this, but I believe she knows because we haven't been intimate in months. We had discussed divorce several times in the past, but that was before the kids. Please give me some advice. -- LIVING A LIE IN THE MID-ATLANTIC
DEAR LIVING A LIE: Feeling and behaving as you do, it would have been better for you to have divorced before you had children. However, now that you do have kids, it's time that you level with your wife.
As you stated, she probably has a good idea that something isn't right. She may prefer to remain married to you until your children are out of the house. Or she may feel that her chances of finding someone else are better if you separate now. You'll never know until you talk to her -- and she deserves to know the truth.