DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, I had a best friend, "Ben." We talked all the time, shared secrets and always hung out together. I never regarded him as someone I'd like to date, so I never took his attention very seriously.

That summer, he texted me and asked me to send him a picture of my breasts. When I said no, he became pushy. I told him I didn't know what he was going to do with the picture, and I didn't want to get in trouble. He was upset that I didn't "trust" him. I tried to explain that I couldn't assume he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. We didn't talk the rest of the summer.

The following year we had a chemistry class together, and Ben acted like he didn't know me. He deleted my phone number and dropped me as a friend on Facebook. Now, in our final year of high school, he's in another class with me. He still won't acknowledge me and is always flirting with my best friend.

I have cried so much over Ben. I miss him a lot. I don't understand why he's treating me this way. What did I do that was so awful? Is something wrong with me? -- BEWILDERED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BEWILDERED: You did nothing wrong. You considered Ben to be a friend, and I assume that you aren't in the habit of showing your male friends your breasts. It seems only logical that you wouldn't send a picture that could wind up heaven knows where.

Ben is acting this way because he is trying to punish you for not giving him what he wanted. He's flirting with your friend to hurt you and/or make you jealous. These are not the actions of a friend, and the sooner you accept it, the better off you will be. Ben strikes me as immature and a user, so be glad you didn't do what he wanted. It was good common sense.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding money and adult children, should a parent help all children equally if they are financially able to? Or should a parent offer help only to the children in need (medical expenses, kid in college, new washing machine, etc.)? If one child has a high-paying job, does he/she deserve any less from a parent in the end? -- WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: Before deciding how to divide your assets, first discuss this with an attorney who specializes in wills, trusts and estate planning. From my perspective, if you leave an equal amount to each of your heirs, it will prevent hurt feelings and resentment among them after you are gone. Monies given before your death to one of your children should be tallied and deducted from the amount he or she is allotted in your will -- with an explanation of the reason why it is less.

DEAR ABBY: I am torn between two important people in my life. My best friend and my husband graduate this year on the same day, one at 9 a.m., the other at 10 a.m., at two different colleges an hour and a half apart.

My friend says that because I was able to attend my husband's associate and bachelor degree graduations, I should attend her ceremony because I have never seen her graduate. However, I feel my husband's having earned his master's degree is a huge accomplishment, and that I should attend his graduation. What do you think, Abby? -- UNDECIDED IN ARKANSAS

DEAR UNDECIDED: I think you should follow your instincts, because they are exactly right. During your lifetime you will have many friends, but let's hope only one husband.

DEAR ABBY: I have been separated from my husband, "Fred," for several months because of his infidelity. He is pushing to move back in together and has been very insecure and overly clingy. He constantly accuses me of not paying enough attention to him, no matter what I do or how much time I spend with him.

Fred and I have two children, so this has been difficult for all of us. But I'm frustrated with his disrespect for my space and seriously considering divorce. I want to tell him, but I'm worried about his reaction since he cries every time I mention anything that implies that I might "give up on us." He was married once before, and told me that he had to stay with his brother for a while afterward to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself.

His family lives 400 miles away, and he wants to visit them soon. Would it be wrong of me to call him while he's there and tell him it's over? I feel he'll need support when he gets the news, and I don't want him to be alone. He's a good father and good friend. I do love and care about him, and don't want him to do anything that will hurt himself or his children, but I can't stay married to someone who cheats on me. Any suggestions? -- TORN IN PIECES

DEAR TORN: To stay married to someone because you think he might hurt himself would be giving in to emotional blackmail. Fred is clingy and needy because he now realizes what his cheating may have cost him. Of course it's a turn-off.

However, before ending the marriage, it's important that you understand your disgust with him is mixed with your anger at his betrayal. That's why you could both benefit -- and communicate more honestly and safely -- if you schedule some appointments with a licensed marriage and family counselor. If, during that time, you decide you still want a divorce, the place to tell him would be in the therapist's office. You won't be alone. He will have emotional support, and his family can be told immediately afterward.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old married man and have been with my wife for 23 years. We were both married before and have two children from our prior marriages. Our children are now grown and live their own lives.

I have recently learned that I'm terminally ill and, as I come to the end of my journey here on Earth, I need some advice. My son, 26, does not know he's not my biological child. His mother was pregnant when she met me and we never told him. As I make my final preparations, I am conflicted as to whether I should. How do I address this? Or do I even address it all?

If I do it before I pass away, I'm afraid he will be upset and angry and turn away from me. If I do it afterward, via taped video message or handwritten letter, I won't be there to answer the questions he's bound to have. Where do I go from here, Abby? -- UNSURE IN MISSOURI

DEAR UNSURE: Please accept my sympathy for your poor prognosis. Your situation is regrettable, but please don't shoulder all the blame. Your first wife shares some of it, too.

The young man has the right to know that, while you love him and have raised him as your own, he isn't your biological child. He should be told before your death, in person, and nothing should be left out. If possible, his mother should participate in the conversation. And if she knows who the father is, your son should have access to an accurate family medical history.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a woman in my early 30s. When I was a teenager, boys never looked my way, but since my early 20s nearly every guy I've had friendly contact with has fallen in love with me. I have been proposed to six times.

I was married twice and hated it both times. I have been single for a few years and love it. I have mostly avoided men during this time because I didn't know if any man would want to just casually date me.

I started dating again about six months ago and have been seeing a man who is fantastic. He's the kind of man I have been looking for -- kind, even-tempered, well-spoken, etc. He has hinted at marriage, and I'm terrified because I'm afraid that I will "lose" myself. I enjoy my life the way it is, but I'm worried that eventually I will want a partnership, and this would be the man for me.

The idea of going to the next level makes me want to end the relationship. I'm afraid if I can't commit to this man, certainly no other man would have a chance. How do I know if I'm better off single where things are good, or take a chance on another marriage where things may not turn out so well? Is marriage for everyone? -- HAPPILY SINGLE ... FOR NOW

DEAR HAPPILY SINGLE ... FOR NOW: Because of the number of Americans who are divorced or living together without marriage, I would have to say no, marriage isn't for everyone. But when you get it right and have built a strong, loving, mutually respectful partnership, nothing can beat it.

Have you learned from the failure of your two marriages? If so, then you have matured from the experience. If you're planning to have children, it is to their advantage to live in a two-parent household.

That said, if you truly feel you are happier being single, then single you should remain because there are no guarantees that a marriage will be successful. Marriage can only be as strong and lasting as the couple entering into it are determined it will be. And that takes love, understanding, empathy and willingness to compromise.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter, "Gabi," is 15 -- almost 16. She's active and healthy, but for the past few years she has been putting on weight. She's 5-6, weighs more than 160 pounds and has a curvy, feminine body. Despite the fact that my wife and I are both thin, my wife will not encourage her to watch her weight. Actually, she's supportive of our daughter's increasing size. She told me, "Gabi can gain up to 25 more pounds and, combined with her height, be a pretty plus-size."

My wife has always been thin. As a teen she was late to develop her figure. She keeps buying Gabi new clothes as her weight goes up. The styles are too tight, overly revealing and draw attention to the rolls of fat.

I'm not trying to force my daughter into a model's size, but I am concerned about her health. This problem would be easier to manage now than attempting to lose the weight in the future. Please help me present the importance of being proactive with Gabi in this difficult time of maturity. -- CARING, SUPPORTIVE DAD

DEAR DAD: The most qualified person to do that would be your family physician, or Gabi's pediatrician if she has one. It's common knowledge that there is an obesity epidemic in this country, and if your daughter continues to pack on the pounds, she could be at risk for serious health problems. Your wife may be going to the opposite extreme in trying not to make your daughter self-conscious about her weight. I agree with you that this is a subject that is better addressed now than later, so schedule a consultation.