DEAR READERS: It's April Fools' Day, the one day I can share some of those letters I receive from readers whose questions might not seem as appropriate on any of the other 364 days of the year (or 365 this leap year). Enjoy!
DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old female who lives with my parents. I saw "The Little Mermaid" for the first time recently, and now I'm very worried.
The other day I walked in and caught my mom talking to my pet fish, Flounder. I have noticed Mom breaks into Broadway-style songs randomly, just like Ariel did in the movie. She also has the same red hair as Ariel. Mom is a lifeguard at the local pool.
Could my mom be part fish? If so, am I half-mermaid? I will await your reply before attempting underwater breathing. Please answer promptly. -- SEA-ING THINGS CLEARLY
DEAR SEA-ING: Clean your goggles, honey, because you're seeing less clearly than you think. Your mother is not related to Ariel, and you are not a mermaid, but your letter is a fish tale.